On a Red World Alone

A stolen photo“On a Red World Alone” is a Rules-As-Written Lamentations of the Flame Princess game that takes place on a Mars Colony.

How does that work? Well, humans were doing a pretty good job colonizing mars. We built a megacity up there! It was inside a self-sustaining biodome, which everybody thought was pretty neat. Things were good. Then a fuckin’ meteor came from out of nowhere and killed everybody on earth. The whole planet is toast.

And while the biodome may be self sustaining, the same can’t be said of the human spirit. The mars colony had a societal breakdown. Now it’s 400 years later and we’ve basically dropped down to a medieval level of scientific understanding and technological acumen. Tribal warlords vie with one another for the dome’s limited territory. The players are a member of a small neutral tribe, known for producing ‘fixers.’ Folks who will take care of whatever you need taken care of. My players decided to name their tribe “The Fighting Mongooses.”

I’m not much of a play report guy. If I see them on a blog I read, I generally skip them. But I do write detailed post mortems for game sessions. And people have asked me in the past to post play reports on this blog, so this is my compromise.

January 2516 – A Cherished Chip
Session 1 – In Which My Ex Kills My Penis Monster.
Session 2 – Beware the gaze of The Head
Session 3 – Wolves in TechnoSheep’s Clothing
Session 4 – Enter The Hangman

February 2516 – A Test Task
Session 5 – Vertical Getaway Drivers

March 2516 – Procuring Practice for the Pilots
Session 6 – Fish, Plankton, Sea Greens, and Protein from the Sea
Session 7 – In Which the Referee is Too Tired to Run a Good Game

April 2516 – The Hangman’s Holy Hunk of Rock
Session 8 – Too Much Shit for a Hunk of Rock
Session 9 – Death of a 10 Year Old with a Dick for a Nose
Session 10 – God is More Powerful than Boners

May 2516 – Doing Drugs with the Devil
Session 11 – Eldritch Tentacles Emerge from her Anus

June 2516 – Life Support Labors
Session 12 – Beep Boop, Umquat is a Hero
Session 13 – In Which a Dead Wizard’s Underwear Prove Indispensable
Session 14 – A Collection of Baby Arms
Session 15 – Albert, May the Dice Be Ever in His Favor
Session 16 – Poop is Not Treasure
Session 17 – Construction, Quarrelsome Neighbors, and Garbage

July 2516 – Absconding with ASCII
Session 18 – When I Grow UP, I Want to be the Morality Police
Session 19 – Bubble Bobble Bullshit
Session 20 – Everything Patricia Pulling Warned Your Parents About

August 2516 – Duplicitous Demolition
Session 21 – Mostly Drunken Confessions
Session 22 – That Building was a Lightweight. Sad!

September 2516 – Visiting Vox’s Vault
Session 23 – Eleven Encounter Checks
Session 24 – Have Your Cake & Fuck It Too
Session 25 – The Bloodsoaked Warriors of Mars

October 2516 – Protecting Internet Property
Session 26 – Surrender Yourselves to the Breakfast Club
Session 27 – How Bobbert Stole the Show
Session 28 – Inexplicably Wagon-Sized Sewer Access
Session 29 – Madam, You Squeeze Too Boldly
Session 30 – Don’t Spend it All in One Place

November 2516 – Dirt Delivery
Session 31 – I’m Just a Water Bitch, Monsieur!

December 2516 – Hunting Howlers
Session 32 – Beef Ring
Session 33 – A Product of Post-Election Binge Drinking
Session 34 – Just Because a Pooltable Fits in a Room, Doesn’t Mean You Can Play Pool There
Session 35 – In Which the Party Unlocks a Bonus Genocide
Session 36 – How Can We Commit Genocide in a Way that is Profitable?
Session 37 – Shit Talking with Dragons

January 2517 – Managing Mongrel the Magician
Session 38 – Bubble Snek Makes a Sale
Session 39 – This Isn’t a Motel 6
Session 40 – Mongrel was a Pushover
Session 41 – Don Harper’s Day Off

February 2517 – Killing Korlom
Session 42 – Anti Magic Field. What Now, Bitch?
Session 43 – Korlom’s Curtain Call

March-April, 2517 – What Ever Happened to Galens Brook?
Session 44 – Decompression
Session 45 – The Crushing Embrace of the Wall-Worm
Session 46 – These Things Cause Space Cancer!

May 2517 – Jailbreak!
Session 47 – Operation: Fuck You Too
Session 48 – Akiovasha Wins a Falling Contest

June – September, 2517 – Whack-a-Mole
Session 49 – Almost Setting Dildo-Friend on Fire
Session 50 – Alright, We’re Officially Evil Now
Session 51 – Oh Good, Child Murder Averted
Session 52 – Alright, You Murder the Children
Session 53 – Surrender! There are Three Hundred Thousand of Us!
Session 54 – How Many Dicks Can A Gobbo Carry?
Session 55 – No Take-Backsies on Blood Writing

October, 2517 – Just The Amoral Guys
Session 56 – Passing Through the BDSM District

November, 2517 – Loose Ends

December, 2517 – Loose Robuts
Session 58 – In Which an Al Kohaulic is Murdered, then the Party Tries to Convince Themselves They Aren’t Really That Bad
Session 59 – All Rations are Lunchables

January-March, 2518 – Whups, We Fucked Our Friends
Session 60 – Androgynous Men are Hawt
Session 61 – Wherein Jesus Christ Fails a Save Versus Poison
Session 62 – Stealing is Better Than Buying
Session 63 – Somebody Poisoned the Water Hole!
Session 64 – Trashalanche

April – September, 2518 – Pump it!
Session 65 – Apparently They Used Their Sewers for Poop.
Session 66 – Every Time We Play We Miss Umquat.
Session 67 – We’ve Achieved A Lot With Orgies
Session 68 – A Cacophony of Bleats
Session 69 – Umquat Shows Up in a Lama Skin, Slaps Ronnina, and Makes a Bushcraft Check
Session 71 – Interview with a Vampire
Session 72 – Does a 38 Hit You?
Session 73 – Oh, Hey, Mogmurch Has 18 Cha, and Always Has
Session 74 – Fuck, that 18 Charisma is Really Useful
Session 75 – If they don’t have names, it can’t be evil to kill them.
Session 76 – “I Will Eat the Soul of Jesus Christ”

October & November, 2518 – We’ve Never Visited the Lords of Light?
Session 77 – The Only Explanation Is That Spooky Must Be Hot
Session 78 – The Day Don Harper 9/11’d The Internet
Session 79 – Octopussy in the Elevator Shaft
Session 80 – One Lie Too Many

December, 2518 – We Should Probably Do Something About That Asteroid I Guess…
Session 81 – “Because Racism is Bad”
Session 82 – Seventy Nine Sessions in the Making

January, 2519 – Leaving the Dome
Session 83 – A Dense Field of Baby Skeletons
Session 84 – So Much Bullshit for a Stone Sphere

February, 2519 – We Don’t Know Jack
Session 85 – I Have a Table for That
Session 86 – Spent a Year Gettin’ Swole with my Girl Gang in the Forest

March 2519 – Reckless Reckless Robots
Session 87 – The Return of Robot Monster
Session 88 – Simpsons Did it

Also, here’s a link to the google+ community where I post about the game. Unfortunately I can’t figure out how to make the community public. If you know, let me know.

Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.