Session 77 – The Only Explanation Is That Spooky Must Be Hot

Dramatis Personae

+Ronnie Whelan as Ronnina
+David Carli-Arnold as Achernar

Loot

12cc, taken from the dead bodies of some Rulers Beneath the Black guys.
That’s 6cc / xp each.

NPC Interactions

Petunia & Quaestoria – Two women Ronnina hired from the Internet to work as bodyguards for her. The two are sisters who were both born in a breeding farm for creating human parasite hosts, but escaped before any parasites were implanted in their own brains.
Spooky – Created. See below.
Captain of the Boarder Patrol – Maybe he escaped, maybe he didn’t. Who knows?
Bric Shelic – Party sent him some protection, warned him of danger.

Spooky

During the previous Haven turn, Achernar cast the spell “Create Person,” which was successful. Halfway through the creation process, Achernar asked his creation what sex they would like to be, and it chose to be a woman. Achernar named the new woman “Spooky.”

Spooky is a normal person in all respects, save for a few things. First, she is unnaturally loyal to Achernar. She will do anything he asks, and happily die for him if need be. She also has a completely flat affect, with no particular likes or dislikes. She is a very boring person.

Amusingly, Spooky has 17 Charisma.

Achernar told Spooky to train as an Alice, which Spooky did because she does anything Achernar tells her to do.

Since the primary Alice ability is “Exasperation,” and Spooky lacks a full emotional range, she cannot use that ability as often as normal. The referee will determine when Spooky is exasperated.

Achernar also used his level 2 Wish for Spooky to be able to cast all the spells from Vaginas Are Magic, which she can now do.

Gun Auction

Ronnina purchased all three of the guns that were up for sale: the Blaster Rifel, the Rail Gun, and the Nintendo Zapper.

Highlight Recap

The party was immediately faced with three problems after their break: someone wants Bric Shelic dead, the Lords of Light seem to be gearing up for an offensive, and–most threateningly of all–there’s a meteor headed straight for the Dome.

The meteor will arrive in 3 months.

Obviously, Bric Shelic is the best, so the party immediately got in touch with him to see if he would come hide out in Trumpquatia for awhile. He refused, though, saying that if he spent time hiding, whoever wanted to kill him would just wait him out until he was out of hiding, then kill him. Ronnina asked if she could at least send him some bodyguards, and Bric Shelic agreed. Ronnina used a whole “Animate Dead” to create two bodyguard zombies, and sent them out to protect Bric Shelic.

Not sure what else they could do, the party decided to try and follow up on the rumors about the Lords of Light. They passed through the BDSM district on their way to Rulers Beneath the Black territory. There they casually made there way South East, towards the Lords of Light, while questioning people they met on the way to try and learn more about what was going on.

They didn’t learn much at first, and seriously put their foot in their mouth by shit-talking the Cult of Akiovasha (forgetting that the cult currently accounts for about 50% of the local population).

By complete coincidence, they ran into Bric Shelic, accompanied by his two zombie bodyguards. They asked him if he had any thoughts on the Lords of Light situation. He said he didn’t really know anything, but that he suspected they might be planning to attack the Rulers Beneath the Black. After all, they shared boarders with three groups: the Comet Callers, powerful wizards who had beaten them in the first place. The Friends of Needletooth Jack, who are terrifying. And the Rulers Beneath the Black, who have been weakened by repeated failures (their brief war with the Outsiders, the Akiovashan civil war).

Thinking this might be another good opportunity to strike a blow against the Rulers, Ronnina and Achernar began to plot how they might assist the Lords of Light, and attempt to gain some influence with them during a formative period of their rise to power.

This plan in mind, the party made straight for Lords of Light territory, and remarkably had no encounters at all.

Before entering, they decided to purchase a cart and an Auroch, and all the food it could carry, which cost about 2,000cc.

Just as the party was moving into Lords of Light territory, they were stopped by a large group of armed men and women, who made inquiry about why they were trying to enter a restricted area. Achernar tried to do a flip over the guy doing the questioning, but failed, and then that guy got an attack against him and rolled a 20, so right off the bat Achernar is down around 0, which is lame.

While trying to sweet talk their way past, Ronnina made the mistake of assuming these folks were representatives of the Lords of Light. They took great offense to this, as they were Rulers Beneath the Black, not stinking dirty Lords of Light.

Sheniqua was tackled and put in handcuffs, taking her out of the fight. The boarder guard got a few good hits in, but Ronnina opened up with a Spider Ball, which took out more than half of their group, but also took out the party’s own Auroch. The battle went back and forth a few rounds, until Ronnina decided to use one of her Hardstare Souls to power up the Animate Dead spell, allowing it to be cast at a distance. All the dead guards rose up as skeletons, and tore their companions to pieces.

The captain of the guards ran off, and Ronnina sent most of her skeletons, as well as her spectral dogs, after him. It is unclear what his fate was.
The party looted the bodies of the ones they’d killed, and Ronnina’s last two skeletons replaced the Auroch as cart pullers.

The session ended In Media Res, just as the party entered Lords of Light territory for the first time.