Colorful Characters 26: Ronder Thelleper, The Drunk Warlock

 Ronder Thelleper, or as he loudly proclaims himself to anyone who will listen, “The Greatest Warlock in Existence,” is the strangest caster you’ll ever meet. He doesn’t know how to read, and he worships no gods. All he wants is a cold brew, and someone else to buy them for him. For enough coin, he’ll hire on with any band, and face any danger, for the promise of a steady stream of booze.

Armor 12, 3 Hit Dice, Movement 120′, 1 dagger attack, Morale 8 (Lamentations of the Flame Princess rules)

Magical abilities function only while Ronder is completely drunk. If he’s only tipsy, or starting to sober up, spells might function at 1/2 effectiveness, as ruled by the GM. Using any of his magical abilities requires a full round, as it does for other casters. There is no limit to the amount of times these abilities may be used in a given day.

Firebelly – Flame arcs from Ronder’s mouth, unerringly immolating his target for 2d6 damage. save v. breath for half damage.

Bubbly – Tiny bubbles pour out of Ronder’s clothes, and begin to grow larger. They float towards a targeted group. 2d6 human sized creatures must succeed on a save v. palatalization or become trapped in a bubble for 1d4 rounds. The bubble cannot be popped from the inside, but can be popped normally from the outside.

Blackout – A single target must succeed on a save v. magic, or become stupefyingly drunk. They will stumble around, tell people they love them, and probably fall asleep at the soonest opportunity. Fades as normal drunkenness would.

Reverse Goggles –The target of this spell must succeed on a save v. magic. Upon failure, they will find Ronder irresistibly attractive for 1d4 + 2 hours. During this period they’ll do whatever they need to do to get his attention and make him happy. 

Anytime anyone asks Ronder to perform a task, roll 1d6 to determine what Ronder does.

1-2: Ronder performs the task as requested.
3-5: Ronder performs some task which he thinks will be even more beneficial to his employer. These are almost always terrible ideas.
6: Ronder gets confused. His turn is wasted. Make a morale roll to determine if he has become confused enough to change sides.

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