Better Magic Wands + d100 Magic Wands

I have never liked magic wands. Even back when I thought 3rd edition D&D was the bee’s knees, they just felt dumb to me. Little spell dispensers that you charge up and then unload like a magic machine gun. Brendan of Necropraxis made a fine attempt at rehabilitating them, but even thus improved, they still didn’t feel quite right to me.

Recently I decided to sit down and try to fix a lot of things around the periphery of the Magic User class which I don’t like, and I’m actually phenomenally happy with this:

Creating a wand is a very simple thing to do. It’s among the first thing any aspiring magic user learns, and so the only requirements for crafting one is that the character be a magic user of any level.

The process takes one haven turn, during which the caster draws off some of their own vitality (equivalent to 1 hit point per hit die of the MU) and dangles it like bait in the unseen ether of the cosmos. Eventually, some small shard of unknowable horror will latch on to this succor, and the MU will be able to trap it within some small object. A skull, a taxidermied snake, or even a bit of a twig will work.

While it is so trapped, the creature will continue to gnaw at the bait, and the MU’s maximum hit points will be reduced by that amount. But the MU will be able to force the bound thing to act at their behest, lashing out from its confinement to attack the MU’s foes. Each bound creature lashes out in a different manner, and there is no way for the MU to control what sort of creature they get.

Each wand has an exhaustion die, which should be rolled any time the wand is used. On a 1, the creature within manages to break free. The wand works one final time, then breaks, and becomes useless. Magic Users may also choose to release bound creatures by breaking their wands themselves.

In either event, figure out which of your dice has a maximum result that is the closest to the number of hit points that were being gnawed on, without going over. (For example, if the MU had 7 hit dice, then they gave up 7 hp, and you’d roll a d6. Or a d7, if you’ve got one.) With the wand broken, the MU’s maximum hit points go back to normal, and they regain health equal to the die roll.

When a wand is created, roll on the table below to determine what effect the bound creature produces.

Note: Some of these wands include subtables which determine the precise function of the wand. These should be rolled on once to determine what sort of wand you have, and then remain consistent after that. These tables are not re-rolled every time the wand is used.

D100

The target must save versus Devices. If they fail their save, their save versus Magic is increased by 2. Exhaustion Die: d12
The wielder makes an attack roll against the target’s unmodified AC. A blast of (1. Fire, 2. Cold, 3. Acid, 4. Lightning, 5. Sonic, 6. Wind) strikes out, dealing 1d6 damage per 2 levels of the caster. ED: d8
The wand elongates itself into a whip-like tentacle and strikes out at the caster’s target, before quickly retracting into its normal shape. The wand makes this attack roll itself, with a +1 to attack per 2 levels of the caster. The wand deals 1d8 damage per 2 caster levels. ED: d6
A sticky goo sploots out of the wand, flying up to some high place indicated by the caster, and pulling them effortlessly up there. It takes 1 combat round to fire the thing, and 1 combat round to be pulled up. Casters level 4 and higher can complete the whole process in a single combat round. Casters level 8 and higher can use the wand as a free action. ED: 1d12
Randomly determine one of the skills used in your game. When used, this wand grants the target the maximum level of that skill for 1 turn. ED: d4
When used on a friendly target, their (1. Strength, 2. Constitution, 3. Dexterity, 4. Intelligence, 5. Wisdom, 6. Charisma) is temporarily raised to 18. This effect lasts 1 exploration turn per caster level. ED d8
When used on a friendly target, their bonus to attack rolls is increased by 1 for each level of the caster. Effect lasts for 1 turn. ED: d6
When used on a friendly target, the wand temporarily boosts their armor class by 1 per 3 levels of the caster. Effect lasts for 1 turn. ED: d4
Sturdy rope can be dispensed from the tip of this wand. 50′ per use, although it can be used multiple times in a row to produce a longer piece of rope. Until the caster reaches level 4, this is hemp rope. After level 4, the rope is silk. ED d12
When used on an object, that object ‘comes to life,’ and can move on its own. It gains whatever movement abilities are the bare minimum in order to perform its job adequately. For example, an animated jug will be able to float around, and to pour itself, but it won’t have the speed or strength to smash itself into people. A sword, on the other hand, would be able to move itself with enough force to deal normal weapon damage. If used on an object that is held by someone else, that person is entitled to a save versus Devices to resist the spell. Effect lasts for 1 hour per level of the caster. ED d8
When used on a dead body, that body will rise as a walking corpse under the command of the caster. These are fragile creations, and will be de-animated if even a single point of damage is dealt to them (though they can be resurrected by casting the spell again). The corpses move at 60′, have an AC of 12 and deal 1d4 damage if ordered to attack. They last for 1 turn per level of the caster. ED: d8
The wand allows the caster to perform a wide variety of moderately impressive feats, none of which have an obvious practical benefit. These consist mostly of what we might consider “stage magic.” Card tricks, pulling small animals or objects out of thin air, spraying sparks or smoke, etc. ED: d12
Causes the target to grow to twice their current size. May be used repeatedly, with stacking effects. The growth causes whatever common sense improvements in ability the referee deems appropriate. Growing too large for whatever space you are in will cause damage if the structure gives way, and may cause death if the structure cannot break away to accommodate your size. Unwilling targets receive a save versus Device to resist being caused to grow. ED: d6
When cast on a surface, a hollow, inverse pyramid will emerge, made of the same material as the surface it was cast on. This object will float just off the ground, following the caster at a distance of 10′. It can be commanded to stay put, but the caster must come within 10′ in order to retrieve it again. It can carry 2 encumbrance worth of objects per level of the caster, and lasts for 1 hour per caster level. ED: d12
The target of this wand is entitled to a save versus Devices. On failure, they will begin to dance in, using whatever style they most enjoy. After 1d4 rounds they may attempt another save, and if they fail, another 1d4 rounds later, and so on until they succeed. Unusually, this wand can be used in a non-obvious fashion. Targets may never know what happened to them. ED: d8
The target of this wand must make a save versus Devices. If they fail, they cannot move at all. This lasts for 1 round per level of the caster. ED: d4
The caster may use the wand to create any image they can imagine. This illusory image may be 3 dimensional, and can encompass as much as 1 man-sized object every 3 caster levels. The image created is static, but is otherwise perfectly convincing to the eyes. Lasts for 1 hour per caster level. ED: d8
The target of the wand must save versus Devices. If they fail, one of their (1. Fingernails, dealing 1d8, 2. Eyeballs, dealing 1d12, 3. Teeth, dealing 1d6, 4. A strip of skin, dealing 1d6) is violently torn from their body, dealing a commensurate amount of damage. ED: d6
When used, the wand will jerk the casters arm to point towards (1. Gold, 2. A secret door or panel 3. A source of magic, 4. A person indicated during the use of the wand. 5. An indicated object, 6. The creature with the most hit dice in the immediate area) So long as they do not perform any actions (such as casting or combat), they can leave their arm limp, and the wand will continue to move their arm to keep it pointing at whatever it is indicating. ED: d6
When used, a bit of goop is excreted from the end of the wand. This goop falls to the ground, and forms itself into a gremlin. Gremlins are terrible little creatures with neon skin, bug eyes, and hunched backs. They stand 6″ tall, and will do whatever you tell them to do, but they tend to do it in the most dickish way possible. Gremlins have a short life cycle, and will die of natural causes after 24 hours. ED: d8
Casting this causes a spot on the ground to be charged with explosive magical energy. The spot is a circle, 2′ in diameter. If weight is applied to the circle , the explosive energy will be released, dealing 1d6 damage per caster level to whomever stepped on it, without a save. Anyone within 10′ takes half that damage, and may save versus Breath to take a quarter damage instead. ED: d6
When cast on a weapon, a successful attack roll with that weapon will also required the target to make a save versus Poison. On failure, they (1. Take 2d6 damage from a random ability score, determined when the wand is created. 2. Take 3d6 damage from a random ability score, determined the same way. 3 Take 4d6 damage to a random ability score, determined the same way. 4. Die) The poison on the blade lasts for one turn per caster level. ED: d6
When cast upon a lie that is communicated at the same time, that lie becomes very easy to believe. To the point that anyone hearing it will find the very idea of believing it is false to be ridiculous. There must be _some_ reasonable chance that the lie will be believed for this to work. You cannot, for example, tell someone that you’re their best friend and that you’ve known each other very well for years, it is impossible that they would believe that. You can, however, tell someone that you’re an old school chum that they’ve just forgotten about. ED: d4
Restore some of the target’s hit points. At first level this restores 1d6 hit points. At third, 1d10; at fifth, 2d6; at seventh, 2d10, and so on. ED: d4
If the caster touches the tip of the wand to the ground, and drags the wand along the ground, then a wall will rise up from that space, made of (1. Tempered Wire Mesh Glass, 2. Fire, 3. Colored Lights 4. Steel, 5. Same as the surface it rises from, 6. Spinning blades, 7. Stone, 8. Ice). The wall is 8″ thick, and 6′ high (+1′ for every 3 caster levels), with a maximum length of 10′ per caster level. The wall lasts for 1 minute per caster level. ED: d8
The target must save versus Devices, or they will begin to choke; and will continue choking until the caster stops channeling the spell. While choking they may act normally, but cannot speak, and they take 1d4 damage each round. Unlike most wands, this wand may be activated subtlety, and the target may not necessarily know why they could not breathe. ED: d8
Using this wand, the caster can make a hole appear in the ground. Where the contents of the hole disappear to is unclear, although it apparently ends up in the sky, because when the spell ends it falls down from above the clouds to land in the space it vacated. The hole is 10x10x10 at first level, and each dimension of the hole increases by 2 for each caster level. ED d6
The target must save versus Devices. On a failure, they become frenzied and will attack with a blind fury. They may not flee, and cannot take any action other than attacking their target. They may use weapons, but not if the weapon requires any significant maintenance (they cannot reload a projectile weapon, for example.) While in this state, the target loses any bonus they may have had to hit, and must roll 1d20 unmodified for their attack rolls. If they do hit, they automatically deal the maximum possible damage. In this state, creatures are very easy to taunt, and will attack whoever dealt the most damage to them in the previous round.
When using this wand, designate two targets of the same species of creature. Both may make a save versus Devices. If both fail, the two have become lifelinked. This has no effect unless one of the two dies, in which case the other will also die. ED: 1d6
The target must immediately check morale, and if they fail, they must extract themselves from the situation in whatever way is appropriate. ED: 1d8
When used, this wand causes the caster to vanish, and reappear at a different location. Use a d12 to determine the direction they move from their current location, assuming the numbers correspond to those on the face of a clock. They move 1d10 * 100′ along that vector. If where they would reappear is unsafe (such as inside a wall), they instead move back towards where they originated, and appear in the first safe space they encounter. The caster may bring 1 additional person or uncarried object with them per caster level. ED: d8
Using this wand grants the targets the powers of a (1. Vampire, 2. Ghost 3. Bear, 4 Scorpion, 5. Mole, 6. Stone Golem 7. Unicorn, 8. Dragon). The effect lasts for 1 minute per level of the caster. The specifics of these powers are left to the referee to determine, but drawing upon superhero comic books for inspiration is recommended. ED: d6
The earth where the caster indicates cracks, and molten lava begins to bubble up to the surface. It moves slowly, so anyone aware of it and free to move can avoid it, but being within 5′ of it causes 1d6 damage per round, and letting it touch you causes 2d6 damage, while falling into it or otherwise being engulfed by it causes instant death. The lava continues to flow out at a rate of 1 cubic feet worth each round, for 1 minute per caster level. ED: d6
The target of this wand has their unarmed attack empowered to strike like a hammer. The first time the wand is used, it allows the target to roll a d8 for damage on their next unarmed attack. Subsequent uses of the wand can further empower the target, with each casting adding another d8 to the pool. So if the wand is used twice, then the target’s next successful unarmed attack will deal 2d8 damage. If used three times, the target will be able to deal 3d8 damage, and so on. This empowering remains in place until the target makes their next successful unarmed attack, after which their punching strength returns to normal. ED: d12
Use of this wand binds the caster and the target together, allowing the caster to take themselves out of time, and give the time they lose to their partner. For as long as the wand’s wielder takes no actions, their partner may take twice the number of actions that would normally be allowed in a given span of time. For example, in combat, they may take two turns. While scouting, they may move at twice their normal rate without penalty. If they were to fail an attempt to stealth, they could make a second attempt to try and correct themselves before they were noticed. The effect ends the moment the caster does anything. ED: d12
The target is bound to perform a simple, one-sentence task that the caster sets for them. They are entitled to a save versus Devices to resist. Targets who are unfriendly towards the caster receive a +3 bonus to their save. Targets actively engaged in combat against the caster receive a +6 to their save. Regardless of whether or not the task is completed, the compulsion only lasts for 1 hour per caster level. ED: d6
When used on a friendly target, their base speed doubles. If the caster is level 4 or above, it instead triples. If the caster has reached level 8, it quadruples. The effect lasts for 3 exploration turns per caster level. ED: d12
The targets must save versus Devices. On a failure, their morale is lowered by 1d4. This does not cause an immediate morale check, it only makes failure more likely when a morale check is called for. Wand effects 1 target per caster level. ED: d12
The target must make a successful save versus Devices, or their armor rating is reduced by 1. If the caster is level 5 or above, they are able to reduce the targets armor by 2 on a failed save, and 1 on a successful save. At level 10 they can reduce by 3 & 2. ED: d8
If the target fails a save versus Devices, their damage rolls are reduced by half (rounding up) for one round per caster level. ED: d8
The target must make a save versus Devices or find themselves suddenly sluggish, as though they were moving through water. Their movement rate is halved. This lasts for 1 round for every 2 caster levels. ED: d8
If the target fails their save versus Devices, then the next X times they would roll dice, they must instead roll 2 dice, and take whichever result is more favorable to the caster. Here, X is equal to the caster’s level. Using this wand on the same target multiple times can force them to roll one additional die per cast. Note that this spell may be cast on friendly targets as well. ED: d6
The target must save versus Devices. On a failure, they will become a complete social buffoon for a number of rounds equal to to the caster’s level. Everything out of their mouth will either be boring, nonsensical, or unintentionally insulting. They are still more or less in control of themselves, and may push any agenda they want, or attempt to excuse themselves, but everything they do will come across poorly (including excusing themselves). This wand may be activated with subtlety. ED: d12
When activated, this wand begins to exude a smell described by the caster. It may be pungently unpleasant, it may be fragrant enough to mask other scents, or it may be used to create smells that may attract certain beasts, like the smell of blood. ED: d12
The wielder makes an attack roll against the target’s unmodified armor rating, dealing damage to the target, and then healing the caster for the same amount. At first the wand deals 1d4 damage, but this increases to 2d4 at level 3, 3d4 at level 6, 4d4 at level 9, and 5d4 at level 12. ED: d6
The wielder makes an attack roll against the target’s unmodified armor rating, spraying the air around them with spores. The target is entitled to a save versus Poison, and if they fail, an egg survives all the way down into their lung, and it hatches. The next round it deals 1d4 damage to the victim, then 1d6, then 1d8, with the damage die rising higher each round. This persists for a number of rounds equal to the caster’s level. If the victim dies, then the creature born within their body has survived long enough to tear its way out. The creature of tentacles and pincers will then flee, seeking meat to make its nest. ED: d6
When cast on a dead body, that bodies head will be animated, and will speak to you as though it were alive. At a minimum, the body must still have ears and a mouth in order for this effect to function. The corpse will answer a number of questions equal to the caster’s level. ED: d12
A jet of water bursts from the end of the wand, slamming into the target who is entitled to a save versus Breath to leap aside. If they fail, they will be knocked backwards 10′ per level of the caster. If they strike an immovable object, they will take 1d6 damage for each increment of 10′ that they could not be pushed. ED: d6
The wand emits a very peculiar sound, and the referee rolls on their encounter table. 1d10 minutes later, that thing from the encounter table will come to where the wand sounded from. It reacts normally to the player characters, though it’s not entirely sure why it just dropped everything to come here. ED: d12
A kind of wire-form flower made of light emerges from the wand, and crashes into pieces upon the target. They are entitled to a save versus Devices. If they fail, then the will to fight suddenly leaves them. They are not dazed, nor are their perceptions clouded in any way, they merely gain a strong conviction that they do not want to participate in this fight. If harm comes to them, or if undue harm comes to their companions, they may yet force themselves to participate. ED d6
A lance of green shoots out from your wand, and strikes upon the target’s forehead, snapping their head back with the apparent impact. They are entitled to a save versus devices, and if they fail it, will begin to take 1 damage each round. This will only end when they die, or when the caster wills for it to stop. ED 1d4
The target gains a complete immunity to fire for 6 hours per caster level. ED 1d12
When activated, a sudden wind blows through the area, kicking up dust from all around. 1d4 warriors made of dust appear, and will aide the caster in whatever they need. Each has only 1 hit point, but their armor rating is 11 + the caster’s level, and their attack bonus is equal to the caster’s level. They deal 1d8 damage on a successful attack. ED: d8
When activated, time appears to stop for a brief moment, then suddenly everything that happens within the last minute happens in reverse. The caster, and only the caster, has traveled back in time 60 seconds. All others are required to act in precisely the same manner they did originally, unless the caster’s own actions would reasonably change their own. At level 3, the caster may bring 1 other person back in time with them, and at every 3rd level after that they can increase this number by 1. ED: d4
A chittering sound is heard, first at a great distance, then suddenly swooping past to emanate from a single object of corrodible metal indicated by the caster. If this object is held by a person, they may make a save versus Devices to resist. If the save is failed, or if none may be attempted, the object quickly rusts into nothingness. ED: d6
A randomly determined spell is cast from the wand each time it is used. After using the wand, the spell is determined, and the caster is allowed to read its description. The caster can then designate a target, along with any other variables that would normally be decided upon before a spell. Any material components are waived, as well as any lengthy casting times that might normally be required. The spell occurs instantly. The referee may roll the random spell on whatever table they choose, and should not feel restrained by the wand wielder’s level. The wand wielder, in turn, is encouraged to provide their referee with a case of beer to encourage them to roll on more badass tables. ED: d12
Ever so slightly, the target’s eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and hands grow larger. Not so much that they look deformed, but enough that anyone watching the process will notice. All of the target’s natural senses (including those beyond the typical 5), are enhanced to superhuman levels. This lasts for 1 exploration turn per caster level. ED: d12
Spectral chains covered with heavy weights briefly appear around the the target, who is allowed a save versus Device to resist. On failure, the chains briefly contract around the target before disappearing, and the target is suddenly no longer able to fly. It does not matter whether their flight was powered by physics, or by magic. Nor does it matter whether they were using motion to fly, or whether their wings were fixed. They plummet to the ground, and cannot fly again for 1 hour per level of the wand’s wielder. ED: d6
With lightning speed the caster holds their wand aloft, and the spell they are responding to twists itself into painful shapes before flying into the wand. Part of the magic of this wand is that it grants the caster unnatural swiftness when they attempt to use it, allowing them to sacrifice their next action to activate this wand at any time, even during an opponent’s turn. The opponent is granted a save versus Devices to resist, but if failed, then the spell that opponent cast can be negated by the wand. ED: 1d6
By activating this wand, the caster can re-form a spell which they already cast back into their mind, and cast it again. They must have had the spell memorized at some point since the last time they memorized spells. ED: d8
It’s not quite clear what this wand does to achieve its effect. It can be used on any group of people small enough to be called a “band.” If you could call the group a “caravan” or an “army,” the charm will not work. When cast, the group’s journeys are…boring. Somehow they know to choose the road that won’t lead to them stumbling into a murder scene. Somehow, they just don’t look rich enough to tempt the bandits laying in wait. When this charm is cast, a group of travelers can skip 1 encounter roll per level of the caster. ED: d6
This wand functions as a sort of “Ctrl+F for reality.” If presented with an obfuscation of objects in a fairly confined space, use of the wand will cause a certain specified thing to separate itself from the rest. Using this wand will cause the needle to separate from the haystack, cause a book to turn to a helpful page, or cause the gold coins to pop out of a heap of garbage. ED: d12
When activated, luminous tendrils grow out from the wand to join the wielder in a wrestling attempt. While using this wand, the caster may grapple as though they have double their hit dice. ED: d6
When activated, weapons made of light will grow from the wand, then fall into the air where they will float in a pattern that looks like they are being held by skilled warriors. The weapons are of all types, and will attack the caster’s foes. Each weapon deals 1d8 damage, and attacks as though it were wielded by a fighter of the caster’s level. Once a weapon deals damage, it will disappear. The weapons cannot be damaged by normal attacks, and unless they are dispelled, will continue to attack until they deal damage, or until 1 hour has passed. A first level caster summons only 1 weapon, with another weapon added for each even numberd level. ED: d8
A cloud rises from the wand, creating a dome 20′ in diameter, +5′ per caster level. Within this cloud, the gods cannot see, and any powers granted by a deity will not function. The cloud lasts for 2 rounds per caster level. ED: d6
Wireframe hexagons ‘pop’ from the wand, and fly up to arrange themselves in a dome at a location the caster indicates within their line of sight. The dome is 20′ in diamter, +5′ per caster level. Within this dome, the forces of reality are locked down, and magic cannot function. The dome lasts for 2 rounds per caster level. ED: d6
The wand cracks open when this spell is cast, allowing hundreds of insects to crawl out of it before it seals itself back together. The insects are enough to fill a 5x5x5′ space, +5′ on each dimension per 2 levels of the wielder. The primary use of the insects is that they really freak people the fuck out, but they also obscure vision and sound with their buzzing bodies. Furthermore, if desired, they can sting foes within the cloud, dealing 1 point of damage per turn. The swarm persists for 1 turn per 3 caster levels. ED: d6
3 hit dice worth of targets per caster level must save versus devices. On failure, the immediately fall to the ground and sleep. ED: d8
The target of the wand may attempt a save versus Devices. On failure, their body is transformed into (1. A frog, 2. A sheep, 3. A fish, 4. A housefly, 5. A snail, 6. A pot bellied pig.) Their clothing and equipment will suddenly no longer fit them, and will fall to the ground. They retain their minds, and will be able to react to their situation intelligently, but they cannot speak or take most actions. This effect lasts for 1 minute per caster level. ED: 1d4
When used, the wand grants the caster telekinetic abilities. For each caster level, they are able to lift roughly 50 lb with their mind, and move it at a ponderous speed with perfect accuracy within their line of sight. ED: d8
When used, this wand creates a dimensional portal from the wielder’s present location, to another location that they are familiar with within 100′. Aside from the caster, one person can travel through the door for every 3 levels of the wielder. ED: d6
The wand project a giant hand, large enough to easily grip a full grown man in its fist. The hand grapples as a creature with a d12 hit die of the same level as the caster; and attacks with the bonus of a fighter the same level as the caster. ED: d4
When cast on a an area 5’x5′ (+5′ per 2 caster levels), any plants in that area will grow at an accelerated rate, progressing to full maturity in a single adventuring turn. If the wielder is 4th level or higher, the process takes place in a single combat round. At 8th level or higher, the plants not only grow to their full potential, but at an option, can be forced to grow wildly out of proportion to their normal size, up to 4x what would normally be possible. ED: d8
With a flick of the wand, the wielder causes a spectral mouth to appear and bite the target. They roll an attack roll as though they were a fighter of their current level. The bit deals 1d6 damage per caster level. ED: d6
Use of this wand may be declared at any time, and the caster forfeits the next action they would normally have. The target may save versus devices, and if they fail, the wand wielder may redirect the target’s actions in another direction. So, for example, if the target has made an attack against one of the caster’s allies, the caster can force that attack to be directed to one of their foes instead. ED: d12
When activating this wand, the caster must first declare a type of action: walking, attacking, spellcasting, speaking, dancing, lockpicking, etc. The action indicated must be similarly specific to those listed, and the referee should reject anything as simple as “movement,” or anything involuntary such as “breathing.” The target may attempt a save versus Devices, and if they fail, they are locked out of performing that action for 1 round per level of the caster. They may otherwise act normally.
When used on a wall or other surface, that surface becomes temporarily immaterial. Anything leaning or hanging on that surface will fall, and anyone who wishes to may pass through the surface as though it were just a thick fog. The visual appearance of the surface does not change in anyway. This works for surfaces 1′ thick (Jumping to 10′ thick at level 5, then 100′ thick at level 10), and an area of 10’x10′, increasing by 10′ in both dimensions at every third caster level.
When activated, this wand summons a sphere of light, comparable to a torch. At level 4 and higher, the light from the orb is comparable to sunlight. At level 6 or higher, the orb can be ordered to “flare” once per adventuring turn, and everyone who was not forwarned has to make a save versus Breath or be blinded for 1 round. The orb lasts for 2 hours per caster level. ED d12
Causes a block of ice to appear. Very roughly 10′ by 10′ by 10′ in dimension. If summoned above a group of people, they are entitled to a save versus Breath to leap out of the way or take 6d6 crushing damage. If summoned around a group of people, they are entitled to a save versus Devices, or they will become frozen in a block of ice, and put into cryogenic stasis until it melts. ED: d4
When cast upon a structure, it begins to slowly shake and wiggle itself apart. Nails and screws fall out of place, adhesives weaken, and over the course of 1 hour the structure just…crumbles. At first level it works only on small structures like tool sheds or single room huts. At level 3, the wand works against houses of moderate size. At level 6, it can affect an entire manse. At level 10, it could take down a castle. At level 16, it could bring down a skyscraper. If the caster wishes, they can immediately exhaust the wand to bring the structure down instantaneously, without the hour of shaking and wiggling. ED: d4
Each friendly target tapped by the wand is given an illusory disguise of a general type. You can be “A man from this town,” but you can’t be “Dave, the butcher.” Each tap counts as a separate use of the wand. At first, the illusions are only incorporeal, and anyone touching the disguised person will have a chance to notice that the physical presence of the target is not precisely the same as their appearance. If the caster is level 3 or higher, the disguise also alters the voice of the target. At level 6 or higher, the illusion becomes tactile as well, so a person who is not wearing a hat, but is disguised to be wearing one, now actually has a hat which can be touched and felt. At level 9 or higher, the wand can be used to disguise the target as a specific individual, and the likeness will be good enough that it may even fool that person’s friends, if the player manages to act appropriately. Each disguise lasts for 2 hours per caster level. ED: d8
The target’s experience of time is slowed slightly, allowing them to appear to move much more quickly than would normally be possible. The target may take 1 additional action each round, either taking a second movement action, or a second attack action. This effect lasts for 1 round per level of the caster. ED: d6
When cast on a piece of metal, that metal begins to heat up. On the round the spell is cast, the metal is merely warm to the touch. The round after that, however, the metal becomes quite hot, and deal 1d4 damage to anyone touching it. The round after that, it becomes scorching, dealing 2d4 damage to anyone touching it. The metal remains scorching hot for a number of rounds equal to the wand wielder’s level. After that, it begins to cool, first to hot (1d4), then warm (no damage), then returning to its normal temperature. ED: d6
The wand belches forth a cloud of sickly colored gas–a green, or a purple. The gas fills a 10x10x10 space per caster level. Anything which breathes the gas (including the caster and their allies) must save versus Poison or die. ED: d4
The wand begins to spray a whispy white mist into the air, filling a 10x10x10′ space per level of the wand wielder. No creature which relies on sight can see more than 5′ in any direction while trapped within this mist. At level 5, at the wand wielder’s option, the mist may begin to emit a buzzing hum which similarly disrupts the sense of any creature that relies on hearing. The caster may turn this on and off at will. At level 10, the caster may also opt to impose an unnatural stillness on the ground and air within the mist, limiting the senses of any creature that relies upon vibration. ED: d12
When cast upon a creature, that creature immediately becomes the target of every piece of random detritus in the environment. Each round, a random piece of junk will fly up and attack to strike at the target. These items make an attack roll with a +1 bonus for every 2 caster levels the wand wielder has. This spell may be more or less effective depending on the environment the characters are in. In a bare room, it will probably not matter at all; whereas in a cluttered workshop it might matter quite a bit. Exactly what objects fly up each round is at the referee’s discretion, but it is recommended that they roll 1d6. On a 1-2, a small item for the environment attacks. On 3-4, a moderately sized item. On 5-6, one of the larger items in the environment attacks. Damage should likewise be determined by the referee, based on what sort of items are available. A pebble, or a coffee cup might do 1d4 damage. A shovel or fist sized stone might deal 1d6. A cooking cauldron or head-sized stone might do 1d8. And so on. The spell lasts for 2 rounds per level of the spellcaster. ED: d6
By pointing this wand at a creature which is not usually capable of speech and uttering the command phrase “Stop mumbling! In [language of choice], please!” the wand wielder grants that creature the ability to speak. This is permanent, and the creature will be able to talk forever after. This does not necessarily mean it will be positively disposed towards the caster, but they may attempt to parley with it as they would with any other creature. ED: d12
When used on a sleeping target, the caster may concoct whatever dreams they desire for that target. In a world of magic and mysticism, many folk take their dreams as serious messages from the beyond, and these will influence their future decisions in ways determined by the referee. Of course, a crafty magician may be able to offer their services as a “dream interpreter” to ensure the intended interpretation. ED: 12
The wand wielder may summon a floating sphere of flesh and bone. The sphere will wait for the caster to designate a target, after which the sphere will move to float near the target. Always careful to stay out of the way, but ready to leap forward if needed. If the target would take damage, the sphere will leap forward, and has a 4-in-6 chance of being able to intercept the hit. Note that in the case of spells which effect a large area, the sphere cannot protect its charge, and will take half or full damage along with their charge, according to their charge’s saving throw. The sphere has 6 hit points per level of the wand wielder. ED: d6
The target of this wand must save versus Devices, or be struck with irrepressible diarrhea. This slows their movement by half, and they can only make attack rolls every other round. Obviously, this makes social situations difficult for the target. ED: d8
By activating this wand, the caster can produce a Summon spell, as presented in the LotFP Rules & Magic book on pages 134-143. You can also use Ramanan Sivaranjan‘s handy Summon Spell Automator. Regardless of method, determine the number of hit dice for the creature by rolling 1d20. When wielding this wand, there is now way for the creature to resist being summoned, and there is no way for the caster to dominate the summoned creature. Further, the caster may cause the summoning to take place anywhere within their line of sight. ED: d2
Sticky goo flies from the tip of the ~~penis~~ wand. The goo covers an area 5’x5’x5′ in size, with an additional 5′ on each dimension for every level of the caster after the first. Creatures trapped within this space are entangled, and cannot move until they manage to break free. This requires 2d4 rounds for human sized creatures, while larger creatures or humans with 18 strength can break free in only 1d4 rounds. Small creatures cannot break free. ED: d8
The target of this wand does not need to breathe, eat, or sleep for the entirety of the spell’s duration. If the wand wielder is above level 6, the target further can survive at any amount of pressure, or lack thereof, and suffers no penalty from heat or cold so long as it is not extreme enough to deal immediate round-by-round damage. If the wand wielder is above level 12, the target similarly becomes immune to falling damage, poisons, and diseases for the spell’s duration. The spell lasts for 1 hour per caster level. ED: d12
The target of this wand is entitled to a save versus Devices. On a failure, their blood has been excited with the desire to leave their body. This desire lasts for 2 rounds per level of the caster. Each wound the target has which would draw blood (such as damage from a bladed or piercing weapon) suddenly becomes a geyser of blood, shooting out with enough force that it only splatters against the ground some 10′ away. Each such geyser causes 1 damage to the target per round. If they die while in this state, their body will be completely drained of blood. ED: d6
For every two levels the wand wielder has, they may make one target invisible for one hour (plus an additional hour after level 3, with new hours every 3rd level). While invisible, characters still produce noise and have physical dimension, and their invisibility will be dispelled automatically if they attack. After level 7, attacking does not automatically dispel invisibility, but instead causes the remaining time of the spell to be reduced by 1d4 turns. ED: d6
The magic user holds the attention of 10 people per level. The magic user must be doing something, such as dancing, singing, or reading the phone book. The spell will not affect people’s opinion of what the magic user is doing, it merely affects their decision to continue looking at it, instead of moving on with their day. Note that this wand’s effect will not hold anyone’s attention if there is obviously something more interesting to pay attention to. An explosion, or a call to arms will break the enchantment. (Although if the wand Wielder is level 8 or higher, they may attempt a save versus Magic. On success, they manage to hold the crowd’s attention). ED: d8
Whomever the wand is used upon may speak and understand every language. Alternatively, the wielder may attempt to use the wand offensively by preventing someone from speaking or understanding a specific language that they already do speak. In this latter case, the target is entitled to a save versus Devices. ED: d12
When cast upon the ground, this spell creates a temporary lodging for the caster. At first it is a simple hut with a door that closes and locks. At level 3 the hut gets slightly larger, and gains some furnishings: a few beds, a table, a lamp. At level 6 the spell summons a fully furnished, 4 room house. At level 9, the house is now 2 stories tall, with 12 rooms. At level 12, the same house comes with a tireless servant who will attend those staying there. The house may continue to become more interesting and grand as the caster gains in levels. ED: d12
A humanoid target must save versus poison, or die. If the wand wielder is above level 3, the round following the target’s death they will tear off all of their skin, and rise as a 1hd skeleton with a 1d6 claw attack in the wand wielder’s service. If the wand wielder is above level 6, the skeletons have 2 hit dice and 2 claw attacks. If the wand wielder is above level 9, the skeletons have 3 hit dice. ED: 1d4
Some creature of greater significance has taken notice of the wizard’s dangled vitality, and has decided to indulge themselves in a peasant’s treat. They take the wizard’s bait outright, and those hit points are permanently lost to the wizard. Their wand gains no function, but by way of payment this greater entity was generous enough to toss a mote of power to the Wizard. What amounted to a few copper pieces to this entity overwhelms the wizard with its power, and they must immediately expel that power by using it to make a Wish.

And there you have it, the second longest post I’ve ever written for Papers & Pencils. (With the longest scheduled in a few weeks time). If you found this post useful, or if you just enjoyed reading it, I’d encourage you to check out my Patreon Campaign. Your support will help me to spend more of my time writing posts like this one. Thank you.

Weird Cleric Magic: Oddities

The Glory from God system as established before now stands perfectly well on its own. If the stuff that already exists is all you want to play with, that works great. But, if you’d like the magic to be a little more chaotic, you can play with these casting oddities, which add an element of risk and reward to players considering rolling more dice than they need to in order to cast a spell.

When dice are rolled to cast a spell, if any of those dice share the same face, the player must roll on the oddities table. Which number is showing doubles determines which of the tables below the player must roll on. Each set of doubles must be resolved, so if a player rolls 4 dice, and they roll two 3s and two 4s, then they must roll on both of those tables.

In the event that the player rolls triples, treat that as rolling two sets of doubles of the same number. So if a player rolls three 1s, they must roll on the 1s oddities table twice. They must likewise roll three times for quads, four times for a quintet, and so on.

There are essentially three types of oddities. Good things, bad things, and things which may be good, bad, or irrelevant depending on the specific situation in which they occur. The subtables for lower numbered doubles are weighted more in favor of bad things, and the subtables for higher numbered doubles are weighted in favor of good things.

It should be noted that the success or failure of a spell is determined before any dice are rolled on the oddities table. Nothing that happens on the oddities table can change the fact that the spell did or did not succeed. (Though it can lower or improve the spell’s efficacy if the spell did succeed).

Snake Eyes (Double 1s)

You have made a deeply offensive error in your casting. Your god curses you. Roll a random curse.
Your interference in this matter has come to the attention of a rival god. Your deity and this one are now struggling for influence over this place, and clerical magic from either one of them will be blocked until the contest is resolved. (1-in-6 chance each round. 50/50 chance whose god will win.)
Though it may not be immediately apparent to the caster, their religious superior (currently deep in prayer) has been told by god that the cleric is a disappointment. In the coming weeks they will be called before this superior, and it will be demanded that some failing in their character be corrected.
The caster briefly experiences a nirvana-like state in which they cease to exist. To others, it appears that they simply disappear. They reapper 1d4 rounds later, with no memory of what they experienced, save for a vague sense that they ultimately proved unworthy of some great gift.
The caster’s appearance changes slightly, and permanently. Their nose gets a little wider, their hair changes color. They grow taller or shorter, thinner or fatter. In rare cases they may even change gender entirely. The specific alteration is decided on by the referee.
A special zeal was noticed in your casting. The spell goes off as normal, and is 50% more effective than it ought to be.

Double 2s

Your faith is shaken. Treat this spell as though it were one level higher for the purposes of determining which spell dice are lost.
The caster realizes they have made an error, and must seek penance. (1. They must go without food for a week, suffering any penalties that entails. 2. They must self-flaggelate, dealing 1d3 damage, each morning for a week. 3. They must publicly announce their sin to their companions. All of their hirelings have their loyalty reduced by one. 4. They must spend one entire haven turn in prayer, undertaking no other activity. )
The caster has been deceived! The prayer they just uttered was taught them by a demon, and is deeply offensive to god. They may not attempt to cast this spell again until they’ve spent a week in prayer learning the proper version of it.
Everyone in a 30′ radius feels their hands twitch and spasm, and they drop anything they’re holding.
All animals within 100′ of the caster stop whatever they’re doing and kneel down in reverence to the god whose presence they are in. They will accept no commands until a turn has passed.
A nearby NPC who is neutrally or better disposed towards you is inspired by your faith. Your reaction with them increases by 1, and they want to learn about your god.

Double 3s

The white hot fire of your god exceeds your own zeal. Your holy symbol becomes too hot to touch. You must either drop the holy symbol (and cannot cast until you recover it) or take 1d4 damage.
The vulgar nature of your god has disgusted some NPC. Their reaction to you is lowered by one.
A nearby source of water becomes holy water.
Nearby plants flourish and grow into their most vibrant selves, or wither and die, whichever is more appropriate to indicate your god’s presence.
Your god grants you a moment of foresight. You’re meant to step slightly to one side. Next round you have +2 AC, and if you are hit, the damage taken is halved.
Guided by the wisdom of a saint, a random skill is raised to 6-in-6 until it is next used.

Double 4s

You are struck blind for 1d6 turns.
The caster begins speaking in tongues. They babble nonsense that occasionally brushes with religious themes at the top of their voice for the next hour, and cannot say anything else. This doesn’t prevent them from casting spells.
Everything the caster says echoes loudly, as if they are speaking with a dozen voices at once. This lasts for 1d4 hours. During this time they are incapable of whispering.
The cleric’s body appears to catch fire, but no harm is done to them. The fire is not hot and does not burn anything, but provides light equivalent to a large bonfire. The fire slowly dwindles to nothing over the course of 1 exploration turn.
If the spell cast was beneficial, the wearer gains the mark of the god. Anyone who loves the cleric’s god will do that person favors for 1 month. Conversely, if the spell was harmful, the target gains the mark of the god inverted. Anyone who loves the god will shun this person, and pelt them with stones, for 1 month.
A soft veil of light descends over the cleric’s allies. They all get a +1 benefit to whatever their next roll is.

Double 5s

The power of the spell knocks you off of your feet and you land flat on your back.
The target of a beneficial spell becomes notably more attractive. The target of a harmful spell becomes notably less attractive.
The earth shakes with the casting of the spell, felt by people up to a mile away.
Along with the spell, a bolt of lightning strikes down from the sky dealing 1d6 damage to whomever the caster wants. They are branded with some appropriate passage from the god’s holy words.
The cleric is affected by the serenity of being so close to their god. Their next reaction roll gets a +1 bonus.
Your faith is strengthened. Return a lost die to your pool, or add an extra one for the day if one has not yet been expended.

Boxcars (Double 6s)

A lack of zeal has been noticed in your casting. The spell works as intended, but is only half as effective as it ought to be.
All damage taken and dealt by anyone this round is halved.
A flash of insight allows the cleric to ask the referee one yes-or-no question, and receive an honest answer. This must be done immediately, and cannot be saved for later.
An angel of god comes down and participates in the combat for a single round. They’re astonishingly effective. No one sees it except the cleric, everyone else is just a little baffled as to why something completely unexpected just happened.
The spell is considered one level lower for the purpose of determining which dice are removed from the dice pool.
The spell goes off twice, affecting the intended target, as well as a second target indicated by the caster.

And that concludes my foray into tinkering with Clerical magic. At least until I’m able to test the system a bit, or have some new idea. I hope you enjoyed it! Next week, I’ll be presenting you with a piece I am immensely proud of: Better Magic Wands + d100 Magic Wands. This is easily one of the best things I’ve written in the last couple months, and I cannot wait to share it. If you’re interested, it’s already available on my advance feed for anyone who pledges $5/month to my Patreon campaign. Hint hint.

Trying out Glory from God: The Past Gods

Note:This post is presented to you by the generous people who support my Patreon campaign. Normally I only update once a week, but thanks to your pledges, I’ll now be able to throw in one extra update each month. If my pledges keep going higher, I’ll eventually be able to move to a full two-posts-per-week schedule! So if that’s something you’d like to see, check out my Patreon! We now return to your regularly scheduled bonus P&P article:

The goal is to make cleric magic weirder. To create a better counterpart to the Magic Words system used by Magic Users in my games.

So far we’ve established the broad stokes of how the system is going to work, and how spells will be created. We’ve also created a kind a template for how gods can be presented in a useful, gameable way, as well as a fun table of oddities to make casting a little less predictable. Now we need to work up some examples to turn all of that theory into a reality. I’ll probably write two or three of these so I can really start to get a sense of where the system’s strengths and weaknesses are.

I’m going to be playtesting this system in my ORWA campaign, where I have one cleric who is playing a techno priest. (Unfortunately, this player had real life obligations, and had to leave the game after only three sessions. But I wrote all of this before that happened, sooo….) Given that, it only makes sense to write up The Past Gods, who are worshiped by that sect. They’re not a very traditional deity, given that they’re sort of a pantheon of nameless entities that are worshiped as a single deific force. But if the system can’t handle weird, then it’s not a very good system.

The Past Gods

Domains

Technology
Engineering
Lost Knowledge

Mythology

The past gods were the normal men and women of an advanced age now past. They gave us all of the many technological wonders humanity once enjoyed, and which humanity lost when it descended into a sinful, ignorant subrace. The past gods still hope that we can return from our fall, and so they bless us with samples of the technological wonders that will await us if we follow them.

Laws / Taboos:

Technology should be acquired and preserved. Even broken technology is sacred. In other circumstances, property should be respected. However, all technology belongs to The Past Gods, and so taking it in their name is not theft.
Technology should be understood through The Technology Support Rituals. To try and understand technology on one’s own merit is to presume equality with the humans of old, and this is an insult to The Past Gods. (This is a stricture of the church, and not one imposed by the gods themselves.)

Spells (All 1st level)
For the purposes of all spells here, “Technology” refers only to devices which are now beyond common human understanding in the setting. So a flashlight, a gun, or a cellphone would be considered technology, but a spade or a crossbow would not.

Abjuration (1 round casting time)

“And the biting current was altered, and brought to rest in the right place.”

The next time the targeted character would suffer electrical damage, that damage is grounded and does them no harm. The effect lasts for 2 exploration turns per caster level, or until it has been expended.

“For mechanisms work only by the will of the Past Gods, and not against their servants.”

The target becomes completely incapable of activating mechanical devices, either intentionally or not. This includes tripwires and pressure plates which might cause a trap to be sprung on them. Similarly they cannot open a lock or fire a gun, as these are also mechanisms. The effect lasts for 2 combat rounds per caster level.

Command (1 round casting time)

“Cease your function, blessed tool. You are in the hands of the enemy.”

An indicated piece of technology within 30′ of the caster ceases to function. It cannot be repaired for 2 exploration turns per caster level.

“The hooting screech, guardian of the net’s bounty.”

To cast this spell the caster opens their mouth, and from their body comes an inhuman sound. A series of high pitched screeches, mixed simultaneously with beeps and white noise. The sound is so cacophonous that nothing requiring sound can function within a 30′ radius of the caster. No speech, nor any spell casting either. This effect also blocks any special effects that use sound to function, such as Hideous Laughter. The spell lasts for up to 1 round per caster level, though the caster must maintain the spell with their full attention if they wish for it to last longer than a single round, and thus cannot take further actions.

Blessing (1 exploration turn casting time)

“For the sinful man, answers remain always elusive.”

This curse prevents the target from discovering some specific piece of information by any means. Even if it is directly told to them, it will fall immediately out of their heads like the name of the 99th person you’re introduced to at a party. Even if they try to exert all of their effort to paying attention when they are told this information, they simply cannot learn it.

The spell is cast on some written example of the forbidden information. The first person to read the ensorcled text will become the spell’s target, and they will remain subject to it until Remove Curse is cast.

“She did rise, as though held aloft by a rotor of blades.”

With the cacophonous sound of helicopter blades, the target of the spell rises into the air. There are no physical rotors, merely the sound of them. The beneficiary of the spell can travel in any direction at a rate of 30′ per round, up to 100′ in the air. The effect lasts for 2 exploration turns per caster level.

Divination (1 exploration turn casting time)

“You will know them by their form and by their function, for they are blessed.”

So long as the caster does not move from their spot, they gain a sort of technology-detecting vision. They may turn round if they wish, but cannot take any steps away from where they are when the spell is cast. Any technology that falls within their field of view will glow a slight shade of red. The caster is also able to determine the function and condition of the technology from the shade and vibration of this red aura. This doesn’t aide so much in diagnosing what needs to be repaired about a broken piece, but does allow for quick determination of what is working and what is not.

“Of my companion I did ask: call my phone, so that its location shall be revealed unto me.”

When cast, the caster identifies a piece of technology. It must be a general type, rather than a specific item. “An xPhone Universe 6SS” is an acceptable identification. “My cell phone,” is not.

The caster then knows the precise location of the closest instance of the described device. So long as the caster does not move a muscle, they can track any movement of the device. Once the caster moves, the effect ends.

Prayer (1 watch casting time)

“Though beset by magnets, the machine did boot.”

The cleric can order any broken machine to work for 1 turn per caster level. The caster does not control the machine, nor does the machine necessarily have access to its full range of functions that might require additional working bits. (Guns may be forced to work, but they will not produce bullets. Computers may be forced to boot, but they will not necessarily be able to display the data you wanted.)

“That which transpires here must stay here for all time”

The cleric consecrates an area of a 30′ radius, which lasts for 1 day per caster level. Everything that transpires within this space will be forgotten by those within it when they leave. Even the caster will have no recollection of what they said or did while within the consecrated space.

Ritual (1 haven turn casting time)

“From the gods’ mind, creatures were given life who held no form.”

This ritual requires that the caster have access to a computational device, such as a computer, or cell phone. It also requires 300 credits of computational resources.

When the spell is complete, the caster will have created an artificial intelligence. This new AI is an NPC like any other, with its own will, personality, and traits. It is able to move throughout computer systems with greater flexibility and understanding than even the most adept human user could achieve.

In thanks for giving birth to it, the AI will perform any 3 tasks the cleric asks of it without question. After this, it considers its debt to be paid, and will not accept commands from the cleric any longer. However, unless it has been made to act contrary to its personality, the AI will remain friendly with the caster, and may be willing to provide favors or services like any other friendly NPC would.

“Man and machine became one when man first came to rely upon shelter and fire. We now take one further step on that most ancient of paths.”

This ritual requires the cleric to have access to a piece of technology that currently works, as well as a willing subject. The cleric can perform the ritual on themselves if they wish.

The working technology is merged into the character’s body in whatever way the caster describes. The device now draws energy directly from the person’s body, and no longer requires batteries or any other power source. Further, the subject is now able to use the technology via thought. Depending on where the technology is placed, its function may be limited as logic would dictate.

If the merged technology is a gun, ammunition is still required as normal.

Weird Cleric Magic: Gods

In exploring the Glory from God system, we’ve outlined spellcasting, and discussed spell creation. Now we’ve got to talk about the stars of the show: the gods themselves. Since their individual flavor is so important to spell creation, we need an effective means of creating, recording, and communicating that flavor. We need a divine character sheet.

What we don’t need is any numbers. Whether or not the god is killable is immaterial*. The only purpose we’re concerned with here is preparing a creative aide for divine spell creation. If the referee is making a 1st level abjuration spell, what form will that spell take? Will the god bestow their protection by raising a wall of earth? Or will they temporarily turn the target incorporeal? Or will they place a shimmering shield of light that deflects attacks? These three spells could have dramatically different impacts on the game. So how do we decide which one to use?

I’m going to provide tables in this post, because it feels like a meatier contribution, and I like writing tables. But they’re just here if you need them. If you’d rather come up with this shit on your own, more power to you. It’s probably what I would do.

*Though, in point of fact, killable gods are awesome. I’m fully in support of the idea that most gods are terrestrial creatures. Perhaps they are beyond any means of death we understand, that’s part of what makes them divine. But there is some way to end their existence.

Domains

Domains are the most simplistic abstraction of a god. They are a single idea, often expressed with a single word, which indicate the god’s sphere of influence. When we say that Ares was the god of War, or that Eros was the god of Sex, we are referring to these god’s domains.

Each god should have between 1 and 3 domains. This is not a hard limit, and gods may have as many or as few domains as you wish. But, too many domains can create an unfocused divinity. If the goal here is to gain a strong sense of the god’s style, then it’s best to keep the list short.

If you want to keep the system light, domains could be the only thing on a divine character sheet. It provides plenty of information on its own, and you’d probably be able to use it to generate spells without too much difficulty.

d20 Domains (Even)

Life
Death
Knowledge
War
Wisdom
Love
Trickery
Lies
Pain
Light
Darkness
Stone
Agriculture
Winter
Summer
Sex
Leadership
Wealth
Forgiveness
Vengeance

D20 Domains (Odd)

Nature
Civilization
Craftspeople
Fear
Snakes
Bears
Birds
Sailors
Fire
Earth
Wind
Water
Mathematics
Strength
Competition
Law
Chaos
Neutrality
Armageddon
Revelry

Mythology

If you’re interested in adding a little more texture to your god than a sampling of individual words can offer, myths are a good second step. A myth is the god’s own story. It doesn’t need to be a fleshed out narrative–in fact if it is, I’d say you’re probably over-thinking things. Each myth should be a single sentence, maybe two.

There are three kinds of myths: Myths of Birth detail how the god came to exist. Myths of Events tell a short story that takes place in the past. Something which the god did, or something which happened to the god. Myths of Occupation refer to an ongoing phenomenon which the deity claims responsibility for.

No doubt a hundred deities claim responsibility for pulling the sun across the sky each day, this need not be a problem. Each could be a single aspect of the same deity. Perhaps all of the deities are lying, simply making grandiose claims to followers who don’t know any better. Or, it could be human error! 1,000 years ago some high priest of Yubbles the Sky Bear got into an argument with a cleric of Zandar the Memeist about whose god was better. Both of them started making shit up, and the gods aren’t petty enough to bother with correcting their misled followers.

Myths of Birth

The god was born of a deity and (1. Another Deity, 2. A Mortal, 3. An Animal, 4. A Mythical Creature, 5. A Natural Object, 6. A Crafted Object.)
The god was once mortal, and earned their divinity.
The god emerged fully formed from (1. A Mountain/The Earth, 2. The Sea, 3. A Great Fire, 4. Another God, 5. The Sky, 6. A Tree)
The god was created by another god by some means other than standard reproduction. Perhaps in a forge, or by weaving, or glass blowing, or pooping.
The god emerged in response to some phenomena, such as the fury of a battle, or the fear of a refugee people.
The god has always existed. There is nothing before them.

Myths of Events

The god played some role in creating humans, or helping them advance.
The god created some well known animal or monster.
The god created some well known object with an unknown origin.
The god was betrayed by a friend or servant.
The god fought a great battle, and won, lost, or reached a stalemate.
The god is the first to invent some artistic medium.
The god is responsible for giving some order to the universe which did not previously exist -or- for removing order which once did exist.
The god founded a kingdom.
The god held a great revelry.
The god established some important ritual. Like lunch. Lunch is an important ritual.

Myths of Occupation

The god is responsible for something that happens constantly, like the passage of time, or the the air we breathe, or the flowing of water.
The god is responsible for something that happens often, like the rising of the sun or moon, the coming of the tides, or the changing of the weather.
The god is responsible for something that happens on a slow timescale, such as the changing of the seasons, or the movements of the heavens.
The god is responsible for something that happens rarely, but unexpectedly. Like natural disasters, economic collapse, or invasion by a foreign enemy.
The god is responsible for something that happens naturally, but on no fixed schedule, like birth or death, artistic inspiration, or the coming of the tax collector.
The god is responsible for maintaining something that happened long ago, such as giving humans free will. Alternatively, the god is responsible for something that has not yet happened, but which will happen, such as the end of the world.

Laws, Proscriptions/Taboos

Most gods come with associated rules they expect you to follow. It’s a bummer, but hey, it’s a small price to pay for not getting smote, amirite?

I don’t imagine rules would have any particular impact on spell creation, but they would go some way towards making a god feel a little more real if they were enforced on clerics of that god. Like domains, I’d recommend between 1 and 3 to keep things simple and manageable.

The real key is to make rules which don’t affect the rest of the party. It’s better for a rule to be completely trivial than for it to become a hindrance for the party members who decided against rolling clerics.

Cannot wear any knots in their clothing, including wrapping knotted rope around themselves.
Must always spend some amount of money on sacrifices.
Cannot initiate combat against someone who has done them no harm.
Must always spend some amount of money helping the poor or improving the community.
Cannot engage in any sexual relationship.
Must always offer comfort to any who seek it, even those who have wronged them deeply.
Cannot be seen naked by anyone.
Must always defer to others in non-religious matters.
Cannot speak their own god’s name.
Must always remember to attribute all good things to their god.
Cannot witness devotions being paid to any other god.
Must always spend time praying on a frequent periodic schedule.
Cannot tell a lie.
Must always lie.
Cannot look upon or touch a dead body.
Must always perform specific funeral rites.
Cannot eat any but a specific sort of food.
Must always keep themselves clean, and wearing well maintained clothing.
Cannot bathe.
Must always announce when they fart–with neither pride nor shame.

Spells

Spells shouldn’t be recorded in advance, they are created one by one as the cleric prays for them. But these spells are not simply the gifts bestowed on a single cleric, they are the god’s repertoire of miracles. If ever another cleric chooses to worship this god and prays for a spell, there is an 80% chance they will learn a spell from the god’s already-existing repertoire. Otherwise the spell will be created as normal.

Evolution through Play

What I’d really like to emphasize about divine magic in my games is that there’s a second party involved in casting. An NPC that happens to be divine. Clerical magic isn’t like wizard magic, where the caster is manipulating the fabric of reality through the sheer power of their art. Clerical magic is done by drawing upon a personal relationship with an NPC. By petitioning that NPC for favors.

Clerics are not free agents, vaguely attached to an alignment. They have willingly subjugated themselves to a higher authority. In a sense, the cleric is a slave. A very high status slave whose master is beyond earthly concerns, but a slave none the less.

Given that, it is only natural that the god will grow and develop through play the way any other NPC does. Each time some new interesting facet of the god is discovered through play, it can be added to the character sheet, and later be drawn upon when creating new spells.

Next week, we’ll explore the divine character sheet by writing up a sample, complete with a few spells. If you enjoyed this post, consider checking out my Patreon campaign, and helping me produce more posts like it!

Papers & Pencils Patreon!

That’s right. I’ve joined the hordes of the semi-talented who wrestle over pocket change on Patreon. I’ve screwed up my courage to ask you for some money, and would appreciate it if you’d hear me out.

If you enjoy Papers & Pencils, and would like to see more from me, here are the basic facts of the matter:

The only thing preventing me from getting more writing done is the amount of time that I have for writing.
A lot of my time is spent working paycheck jobs so I can pay my bills. This is time which could be spent writing.
If I start to get money from my writing, then I will be able to spend less time at those paycheck jobs.
The less time I spend at paycheck jobs, the more writing I can do.

As I write this, I’ve spent the last 2 months without needing to get up and go to a job every morning. During that time, I’ve been working on RPG stuff for 10-16 hours each day, 5 days a week. Some of it even sneaks its way into the weekend, because even when I’m resting, I want to do this.

But my little “writing vacation” fund is empty, and I need to get back to making money. I’ve got bills to pay, food to eat, and alcohol to drink. And because I need to spend my time doing something other than writing to make money, the amount of writing I can get done will return to the same old trickle.

That’s the simple math of it. I’m not saying that you owe me anything. I write Papers & Pencils for myself, because I love doing it, and I’m going to keep doing it whether you give me money or not. But, if you like what I do, and you have a few dollars to spare, giving those dollars to me will allow me to do more of the thing that you like.

So, if you are able, please consider supporting my Patreon campaign.

Glory from God: Creating Spells

In The Glory from God system, the referee takes on the role of the cleric’s god, and creates all of their spells for them. Because of the time required for prayer and meditation before a new spell is granted, only one spell per cleric will ever need to be created per game session. Creating a single new clerical spell in this timeframe should not, I think, overly strain the referee’s creative abilities. My own experience with the Magic Word system has shown that creating a new spell is generally the easiest aspect of session prep for me.

However, Glory from God lack one of the great strengths of the Magic Word system: limitations. Limitless creativity is a paralyzing curse. If your player comes to you and says “I want to create the spell Pummeling Spiders,” it’s easy to come up with some rules for how that spell works. If your player comes to you and simply says “I need a new spell,” then the sheer ocean of possibilities can cause the process to be a great deal more difficult. So we need some limitations. Not “rules,” per se, because if you ever feel like ignoring these limitations for some reason, then go for it. But we do need guidelines to light a clear path forward when a new spell is needed.

First, determine the spell’s level by rolling 1d6. Remember that even the most powerful spell can be cast by a 1st level cleric, so the spell level is not a gauge on how high level the player must be before they gain access to the spell. It is merely an estimate of how often the cleric will be able to use a spell each day, before they start losing spell dice.

If you’re making a 6th level spell, then you’re making a big blowout spell that the player will only be able to use a handful of times. If you’re making a 1st level spell, then they’ll probably be able to cast it a ton. Spells of 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th level are just gradations on this scale.

When it comes to the actual content of the spell, there are two big guidelines to consider. The first is the cleric’s god; the divine entity that is ostensibly the one actually creating the spell. What is that god’s style? Their domains, their mythology, their will? The characteristics of the deity should provide the referee with a good sense of what sort of spells that god would grant to their clerics.

This begs the question: what should we know about a god before they’re ready to be used in play? The answer to that is beyond the scope of this post. Next week, I’ll go into some detail on what all we should know about a god. For now, just imagine we’re working with a god who is already familiar to you. Someone like Zues, Thor, or Vecna.

The second guideline is the magical school of the spell. There are six schools, and the referee is encouraged to determine which one they will use randomly. The schools are Abjurations, Commands, Blessings, Divinations, Prayers, and Rituals. Each school is tied to one of the four abstracted units of game time, which is how long the spell will take to cast. So only the first two types of spells could be cast while in combat, while the other four types each require a significant period of calm in order to work.

Abjuration – A Combat Round: Abjurations are protective magics, and are always cast preventatively rather than restoratively. They usually have either a very limited duration, or a very limited scope. For example, one abjuration might be used to protect the target from all damage for 1 round. Another abjuration might protect the target from a total of 1d8+1 incoming damage, and remain in effect until that damage has been taken.

Clerics cannot reverse spells of their own volition, but their god may choose to grant them a reversed abjuration. These either make a target unusually vulnerable, or remove a protection that the target would normally have. Reversed abjurations may cause a target to exude a tasty scent that attracts monsters, or may cause their saving throws to be rolled twice, with the worse result being taken.

Examples of abjuration spells from the core LotFP spell list include Invisibility to Undead, Resist Cold/Fire, and Spell Immunity.

Command – A Combat Round: Commands impose god’s will on the world. They are perhaps the most dramatic of the gifts granted to clerics, and their casting must be declared with great force and confidence. Commands do not harm directly, though their results may lead to harm.

Examples of command spells from the core LotFP spell list include Turn Undead, Heat Metal, Sticks to Snakes, Hold Person, and of course, Command.

Blessing – An Exploration Turn: While abjurations protect targets from harm, blessings grant their target new strengths. Strengths which belong to the beneficiary of the blessing for their duration, and may be used at the target’s discretion. Blessings may raise one of the target’s ability scores, grant them some expertise, or cause their blade to burn like fire.

Blessings typically last much longer than abjurations. While the latter might last only a few moments, a blessing can last hours, or even a full day, and in rare cases even longer than that.

Like abjurations, gods may opt to grant reversed blessings, often referred to as curses. Curses weaken their victims, or burden their victims with some struggle .

Examples of blessing spells from the core LotFP spell list include Enlarge, Water Walk, Protection from Evil, and obviously, Bless. An example of a curse might be Geas.

Divination – An Exploration Turn: Divinations allow characters to learn information they would otherwise not know. Some spells grant this information directly, the casting of the spell causing the answer to simply appear in the cleric’s mind. Others are more open ended, allowing the cleric to access a means of learning that they would not normally have.

Examples of divination spells from the core LotFP spell list include Detect Magic, Locate Object, Speak with Animals, Speak with Plants, and Speak with Dead.

Prayer – A Watch (4 Hours): Prayers allow tangible gifts to be requested of god. Prayers can consecrate holy ground, or raise a building from raw stone, or cause a feast to manifest itself. Prayers can also lead to events that might be regarded as exceptionally fortunate, such as running into a band of friendly soldiers out in the wilderness.

Examples of prayer spells from the core LotFP spell list include Create Food & Water, and Swarm of Locusts

Ritual – A Haven Turn (1 Month): Rituals are complex affairs, and often require more than a simple casting. There’s money to be spent on incense and animal sacrifices, sacred dances to be performed, a congregation of faithful that must be gathered. Not all rituals are so elaborate, but no ritual should be taken lightly.

While prayers may be used to magically summon something permanent and mundane (like a building), rituals produce permanent magical effects. They create clay golems to protect the faithful, or place permanent blessings over a settlement. Rituals are also the only way that most clerics will ever produce any healing effects. They might be used to advance the rate at which a group restores their hit points, or to mend broken bones, cure diseases, or remove curses.

Examples of ritual spells from the core LotFP spell list include Cure Disease, and Remove Curse

These six spell schools are useful, but it is important not to overstate their importance. These are guides, meant to direct the referee’s creativity in a vaguely useful direction. They are not strict categories into which all spells can neatly be divided. Players need not even be aware of the schools at all, they have no bearing on a spell’s function after the spell has been written down.

A final word on spell names. As a means of making clerical spells yet more distinct from MU spells, it may be entertaining to give them more scriptural, or prayer-like names. Something that sounds as though it was memorized from a holy text. “6 Word Stories” might be a good rule of thumb. So rather than “Detect Magic,” the spell might be called “Jerome revealed their mysticism before god” The spell description looks the same, but the name of the spell has a more biblical flair.

d30 Books you Find in the Wizard's Study

On January 1st, I had this idea: what if, every day, I posted one entry of a table on twitter? It’s such a minuscule thing that it should be easy to find time for it, and the limitations of twitter would prevent the entries from getting out of hand. The way I figured it, if I kept it up for a month, I could produce a d30 table with barely any effort at all; and by the end of the year I could have 12d30 tables! So every day of this past month, I’ve been tweeting with the hashtag #d30WizardBooks.

“On Navigation of, and the Reliability of Perceptions Within, Non-Euclidean Space”
“Putting out the Fireball: How to Assert Your Will Without Resorting to Evocations”
“Beings of the Outer Planes IX: Demons, Devils, And Determining the Difference.”
“Touring the Imbibularium: A Catalogue of All Known Elixirs, Poultices, Potions, and Tinctures.”
“Dissection or Vivisection: Why the Moral Outcry of Lesser Minds is Stifling Your Mastery of the Cosmos”
“A Hat as Tall as You Deserve: Uses for Extra-Dimensional Spaces in Fashion”
“On the Relative Benefits of Living, Unliving, Monstrous and Constructed Minions”
“Ditching the Love Potion: How to Use Charm Spells to Improve Your Sex Life.”
“Going Where Only Gods Have Been Before: Creating New Life in Your Vats to Improve Your Sex Life.”
“Check Your Beard: A Practical Guide to Avoiding Otherworldly Parasites While Traveling the Cosmos.”
“Free Labor: A Guide to Selecting the Right Candidate for Apprenticeship”
“Rare Spell Components and Where to Find Them.”
“Shaming The Petty Gods Who Scorn You: A Study in Emulating Clerical Magics”
“Correctly Conjugating Conjurations: A Coda for those Circumspect of Catastrophe”
“Accurately Articulating Abjurations: Acquiring an Appropriate Accent”
“How to Make Servitors & Influence People.”
“How to Keep Insects Away from your Apparatuses to Prevent Unwanted Abominations”
“Prolix Prose. Obfuscating Spellcasting Vocalizations by Employing A Needlessly Arcane Lexicon”
“A Brief Study in the Practice of Law for Those Who Intend to Deal with Devils”
“Ditch the Ball! Cubes, Pyramids, Spirals, and Other Amusing Shapes for Flaming Evocation”
“Who Needs Resurrections? 300 Necromancy Spells to Put Clerics to Shame”
“When You’ve got More Spell Slots than Enemies to Crush: 1000 Little Spells to Enhance your Life.”
“Finding your Familiar: Contrasting the Benefits of Ravens, Felines, Toads, Salamanders, and Other Common Choices.”
“When Devils Won’t Deal: How to Trick Celestial Beings”
“Dumbing it Down for the Meat-Shields: A Primer for Engaging in Pleasant Conversation with your Adventuring Companions.”
“Choosing the Material that’s Right for YOUR Golem.”
“Stars, Moons, & Other Shapes That Will Never Go Out of Style”
“Half the Storage Costs, All the Soul: Using Halfling Sacrifices for your Dark Rituals”
“A Practical Guide to Time Manipulation.” Written by: “You, Twenty Years from Now.”
“Dealing with Anti-Magic Fields: Martial Arts for a Wizardly Physique.”

As it turns out, the process is kind of a bummer. Spreading the creative work out over such a large period of time actually made it more difficult to come up with individual table entries. It just took too much time to get into the right headspace each day. Then it was always a struggle to come up with something fresh, without accidentally repeating an idea I’d forgotten about because I wrote it weeks previously. It was also difficult to avoid just making jokes, which is pretty much what I ended up doing.

I’m dubious as to whether I want to continue this project. The first month was certainly a failed experiment in my view, but I do have some thoughts on how to improve the experience. Moving the daily posting over to Google+, where there are more cool people than there are on twitter might help. It could also be fun to just embrace the comedic nature of the thing and go with full-on joke themes in the future.

Anyway, enjoy your bonus post! I’ll get back to discussing Cleric magic on Sunday.

Making Cleric Magic Weirder: Glory from God

This may be a controversial thing to say in the OSR right now, but I don’t hate clerics. I’ll happily grant that healing magic is bullshit, but I’d rather rehabilitate the class than remove it altogether. Glory from God is an attempt to create a clerical counterpart to the Magic Words system, drawing on the Petitions of Brendan S., and the spell casting dice pools of Courtney Campbell.

The first step in accessing clerical magic is to choose a god to worship. The god may be selected from the existing pantheon of the referee’s world, or may be created by the player.

To learn a new spell, a cleric must spend time in meditation, prayer, and study. They pour all of their energy into gaining a deeper understanding of god’s will. Only after time and sacrifice will a spell be revealed unto them. One month and 1000 money should be a sufficient amount of devotion to earn a new spell.

The player of the cleric has no role whatsoever in determining the nature of their spells. Divine spells are not created by the clerics who cast them. These spells are gifts from god, presented fully formed to the clergy which earned them. Even if the player was allowed to create their own god before play began, they cannot now exert any influence over the way that god functions. The player is like a meta-divine-watchmaker in this respect.

Clerics may attempt to cast any of the spells they know at any time. There is no need to memorize specific spells in the morning, nor is there any strict limit on how often a cleric may cast each day. Theoretically they could continue to cast indefinitely if the dice (by which I mean god) continue to favor them.

The cleric’s favor with their god is represented by a pool of six sided dice. The size of their pool is equal to 2d6, plus an additional d6 for each cleric level. So, 3d6 at first level, 4d6 at second level, and so on. Possessing powerful relics, or a richly appointed holy symbol may allow the cleric to expand their die pool slightly.

To cast a spell, the cleric rolls as many dice from their pool as they wish. The results are added together, and the total is compared to the chart below. Then, any individual dice which show a number that is less than or equal to the level of the spell being cast are removed from the die pool until the next day. Thus, casting higher level spells will exhaust a cleric’s favor more quickly. There is also a risk/reward element to choosing how many dice to roll for each spell. More dice means a greater likelihood of success, but it also creates more opportunities for dice to end up removed from the dice pool.

How God Responds to Your Petition:

1-2: God is not listening. The spell fails.
3-5: God is disinterested. The spell goes off at the end of the next round, after all parties have acted.
6-11: God acknowledges your faithful service. The spell goes off immediately
12+: God is pleased with you. The spell goes off immediately, and any variable effects are maximized.

Optionally, the referee may allow clerics to purchase consumable items such as holy water or incense to assist in their spellcasting. A single use worth of these items is encumbering. When used as part of casting a spell, these consumables allow the cleric to “fudge” one of their dice by 1. Using this method, dice may even be raised above their maximum face value. So a 6 rolled on a d6 may become a 7, allowing the cleric to retain that die in their pool even if a 6th level spell was cast.

That covers everything that the player need worry about directly. While the system may seem daunting, it is worth pointing out that players will only need access to 3 pieces of information at the table:

Their spell list. Presumably they would already have this anyway.
The size of their dice pool, which would be a very simple thing to record on the character sheet, or to recalculate if it is forgotten.
The 4-entry table for interpreting the results of a spell casting check.

If this is all that interests you, then this is all you need. Referees can use any means they prefer to create their spells, giving clerics whatever flavor suits their campaign world the best. For my own purposes, though, I would like to see cleric magic relegated to a very specific niche, distinct from the magic user. A niche without any healing in it whatsoever.

I’ll detail more thoughts on clerical spell creation in my next post.

Magic Words in Practice: One Year of Magic Words in ORWA

From inception, my ORWA campaign has used the Magic Words system. The game only has one magic user in it, but that M.U., named Ronnina, and played by my brother Ronnie, has been around since the very first session on January 6th 2016. Ronnie has been one of the game’s most consistent players, being present for nearly all 40 sessions of the game to date. That means I have something I don’t often get to share: practical data about the functionality of one of my game systems.

In the past year, Ronnina has gathered the following words: Cold, Fist, Blood, Imbue, Animate, Web, Magic, Dog, Balance, Star, Feather, Fairy, Missile, Cone, Pain, Hate, Corpse, Glare, Rock, Sleep, Cloak, Cling, Fall, Fire, Portal, & Hold.

With these, she has created the following 13 spells. Each of these spells has gone through some revision over time, as edge cases arise, and rulings are needed. Some have been buffed a bit here, others have been nerfed a bit there. A certain level of imprecision, and a constant need for fine tuning, are at the heart of Magic Words.\

Fire Portal

Opens a portal in any surface which releases a gout of flame from some unseen place. The flame covers a 10’x10’x10’ space, and deals 1d6 damage, +1d6 for every 3 levels of the caster. The portal must be cast on a surface, and is one-way, nothing can travel from our side to the fire side. For each caster level, the distance the fire reaches from the portal increases by 10′. This does not increase the size of the portal, merely the how far the fire can travel from the portal.

If a space is not large enough to contain the full force of a fire portal, it will, the flames will follow the path of least resistance.

Alternatively, the spell may be cast to grant the caster the ability to conjure five smaller portals over the course of a 12 hour period. These smaller portals deal no damage, but are sufficient to light a candle, or burn a rope.

Failure:

1. The portal sucks all fire from the room.
2. Fire blasts from the caster’s nostrils, dealing no damage but being very painful.
3. The surface the portal is cast on catches on fire and is destroyed, even if that would not normally be possible.
4. The caster goes temporarily deaf for 1d4 hours.

Star Fire

A touch range spell which buffs one willing target for 24 hours. While the spell is active, any time the character successfully improves an NPC’s reaction, they gain one point per level of the caster. These points may either be spent to recover a lost hit point, or to add a +1 to any die roll. Points may be spent individually or in groups, at the discretion of the spell’s target. If used to improve a roll, the use of points must be declared before the roll is made.For the purposes of this spell, “Improving an NPC’s reaction,” refers specifically to raising the results of an initial reaction roll (2-12). This is commonly accomplished with the converse, Perform, Grovel, Honor, and Threaten social actions.

Failure:

1.The target’s skin glows orange, but they gain no other benefit.
2. The target grows massive breasts for 24 hours.
3. The spell works as normal, but any time a reaction is lowered the target takes 1d6 damage.
4. The caster becomes face-blind for a week, and cannot recognize anyone.

Hold Fire

The caster’s hands gain the ability to pick up and hold fire for 1 turn per caster level. Doing this requires a pre-existing source for the fire, but does not extinguish or diminish that source. Once held, the fire can either be thrown (range of 10′) or used as part of an unarmed melee attack. In either event the fire deals 1d4 damage per two caster levels. If the damage rolls in the upper 50% of its range, then the target has caught fire and takes another 1d4 damage per caster level the next round. This continues so long as the damage rolls in the upper half of its range. Failure: 1. The caster believes the spell worked correctly, and is compelled to place their un-protected hand into the first fire they encounter.

2. The caster makes themselves particularly vulnerable to fire, and will take +50% damage from it.
3. The caster’s hand muscles lock up into a fist shape, and the hand is entirely useless for anything but punching for the next 1d6 turns.
4. The caster becomes transfixed by fire. If they see one, they must stare at it until someone yells at them. Minimum one full combat round.

Magic Missile

A missile of magical energy shoots forth from the caster’s fingertip and strikes a target within 60′ + 10′ per level, dealing 1d4 damage. The missile strikes unerringly, even if the target is in melee combat or has cover/concealment. Specific parts of a creature cannot be singled out. The caster is able to produce a number of missiles equal to their level. The full force of this barrage may be directed at a single target, or divided between multiple targets, as the caster desires. Missiles must be assigned to targets before any damage is rolled.Each of Ronnina’s magic missiles look like tiny cartoon, jet-propelled missiles.

Failure:
1. The spell functions normally, but each missile is assigned randomly to a non-caster in the area.
2. The spell works as the caster intended, but only a single missile is produced, which deals 1d4 -1 damage.
3. A number of small glass pellets fly out of the caster’s fingers, plonking against their targets but dealing no damage.
4. A bouquet of flowers appears in the caster’s hand.

Animate Blood

A volume of blood is animated into an ooze like creature. The creature has one hit die, plus one additional hit die for every 3 caster levels, (3, 6, 9, etc). The ooze moves slowly, at only 90′ (30′), but is immune to piercing or slashing damage. (Bludgeoning damage, however, can be very effective at scattering the blood, and works normally). If not destroyed, the creature lasts for 1 hour per level of the caster.

The blood ooze attacks by exciting the blood within the victim, causing it to rush and clot irregularly. This deals 1d4 damage if the creature has 1 hit die, increasing up the dice chain each time the hit die increases. (1d6 at 2 HD, 1d8 at 3 HD, etc).

If cast on the living blood within a person’s body, that person is entitled to a Save versus Magic. On success, the casting failed, and no ooze is created. On failure, the ooze begins to run rampant within the victim’s body. They immediately take damage of a die type appropriate for the ooze’s hit dice. On each successive round, the victim may again attempt the save. If they fail again, they must again take damage. On their first successful save they will vomit up the blood ooze. Both victim and ooze will require a round to compose themselves before they can act normally. If the victim dies before a successful save is made, then the ooze exits of its own volition, and can act immediately)

Failure:

1. The caster mistakenly animates their own blood.
2. The spell instead animates the target’s snot. If there is no target, reroll.
3. Everyone within 60′ of the caster must save versus Magic or be afflicted by a bloody nose which takes friggin’ forever to stop.
4. The caster sets fire to the hem of their robes (or dress, or pants, or other lower body covering).

Animate Cloak

Causes a cloak (or cape) to become animate, moving and acting according to the caster’s verbal commands. The cloak moves by levitating, but cannot move in any way that would be impossible for it to move if it was attached to someone with arms and legs. It cannot fly, leap over melee, or squeeze itself through small spaces.

If the caster wishes, the animated cloak may attempt to visually emulate a moving human figure. As it has no limbs of its own, it can only really be effective if the target of the deception is at some disadvantage. This is used to best effect if it is dark, or if the cloak is at a great distance from the one being tricked.The cloak rolls stealth to succeed in this deception. The chance starts at 1-in-6, and improves by 1 at every 3rd caster level, and for each significant detriment to the target’s perceptions.

The cloak may also attempt to entangle the caster’s foes in combat, preventing them from taking any action. To do this, it grapples as a fighter of the caster’s level, but deals no damage. The target of the grapple must be appropriately sized. Any creature too large to wear the cloak, cannot be effectively grappled by it. Animated cloaks have have 2 hit points per level of the caster, and last for 1 hour per level of the caster.

Failure:

1. The cloak attempts to grapple its own caster until it is destroyed.
2. The cloak becomes intelligent. It’s animation becomes permanent, and it leaves.
3. The spell functions properly, but is cast as though the caster were first level.
4. The spell cast is actually “Self-cleaning and folding cloak.”

Spectral Dog

Summons 1 dog per level, for a total of 2 hours per level. The dogs are translucent creatures of light and smoke, but solid to the touch. They look, feel, and act just like normal dogs, but have no scent. They will obey simple commands from the caster, but are not well trained enough to do anything fancy. “Sit,” “Heel,” “Fetch,” and “Sic ’em” are pretty much the extent of their abilities.

Each dog has an armor rating of 12, 1 hit point, and a +0 to their attack rolls. Each dog starts out dealing 1d3 damage with their bite. At level 5, this increases to 1d6. At level 10, it increases again to 1d8, but does not increase any further than that.The dogs may act for the first time on the round following the one in which they were summoned.

Failure:

1. The dogs are summoned normally, but are not “reasonably well trained” at all. They do not understand any commands, and will pursue only their own instincts and immediate needs.
2. A single real dog is summoned.
3. All the spectral dogs have the aspect of pugs. They are completely useless at any task, but will do their best to obey as normal.
4. The caster turns into a Labrador for the normal duration of the spell.

Hold Portal

Magically holds a passage either open, or closed, as the caster wills. It can effect a door, gate, window, or shutter of wood, metal, or stone. The magic affects the portal just as if it were securely closed and normally locked. Hold Portal lasts for 1d6 turns per caster level.

Failure:

1. Holds the portal the opposite way that it the caster intended: open if you wanted it held closed, closed if you wanted it held open.
2. The effect lasts only 1d4 rounds.
3. Instead of effecting the intended portal, the spell effects the caster’s own mouth for the same length of time.
4. Instead of effecting the portal, you affect the mouths of 2d6 creatures, randomly determined.

Cling to Rock

The person or object the spell is cast on will be stuck to the next stone or concrete their body comes in contact with. There are two versions of this spell: one which allows movement, and can be used to climb sheer stone walls without effort. The second does not allow movement, trapping the target against a body of stone. They are entitled to a save versus Magic to resist the effect. The spell lasts for 3 turns per caster level.

Failure:

1. Which version of the spell the caster intended to conjure is reversed.
2. The caster must save versus Magic or contract some form of lycanthropy.
3. The spell cast is, instead, “Summon,” as written in the LotFP Rules & magic book.
4. The target of the spell transforms into a pebble for the duration of the spell. They are entitled to a save versus Magic to resist.

Cone of Cold

A cone shaped area extends from the caster’s hand, 5′ in length per level of the caster. Heat is suddenly drained out of this area, dealing 1d4 +1 damage per caster level to any living creatures within. Targets may save versus Breath for half damage.

Failure:

1. The cone deals damage equal to the caster’s level, rather than 1d4 + 1 per level.
2. The cone extends backwards from the caster’s hand, striking them, and anyone behind them within the cone’s area.
3. The caster’s hand freezes solid, and must be carefully warmed up again in order to free it. It takes 2 hours of dedicated effort to get the hand free.
4. A randomly determined target within the area of the cone must save versus Magic. On a failure, all heat is drained entirely from their body. Their internal temperature is reduced so dramatically that they are vaporized, becoming a chilling gas which deals 2d4 damage to everyone within 20′ of themselves.

Hold Missiles

The caster raises their hand. So long as they keep their hand up and take no further actions, they generate an invisible sphere with a radius of anywhere from 5′ to 15′, at the caster’s preference. Missiles entering this sphere are halted in mid air, and will remain suspended there until the caster stops channeling the spell, after which they will fall to the ground.

The sphere is able to stop 1 missile per round, per caster level. (Thus it may not be fully effective against automated weapons until the caster reaches higher levels). If the caster is level 5 or higher, they can make a half move action while channeling this spell. If they are level 10 or higher, they can make a full move action while channeling this spell.

Failure:

1. Missiles entering the sphere are accelerated, and deal +1 damage.
2. The sphere functions normally, but also prevents missiles from EXITING the sphere.
3. The sphere functions normally, but is opaque instead of invisible. No one can see in, or out.
4. The sphere functions normally, but the radius expands by 15′ each round, eventually becoming so large that the ones firing the missiles are inside of it, and thus immune to having their missiles stopped by it.

Hold Magic

After this spell is cast, the next spell cast by the Magic user will not go off as normal. Instead, the spell will hold in suspended animation at the first picosecond of its existence. It will remain in this state until the caster activates it with a mental command (or for 1 hour per caster level, after which the spell rots away into nothingness). When activated by the caster’s mental command, the spell comes to life, and occurs from the same spot it was originally cast from. Activating a spell which has already been cast is a free action.

If the Magic user is level 4 or higher, Hold Magic may be cast as a free action. Thus, only the casting time of the spell that is being held is required. If the magic user is level 8 or higher, the held spell may be “carried” with the magic user. Thus a Magic Missile could be cast, held, and then carried around with the magic user, ready to be activated as a free action at-will.

At first, only one spell may be held at a time. At level 6, two spells may be held. At level 12, three spells may be held. Each held spell requires an additional casting of Hold Magic.

Failure:

1. The spell the caster intends to hold is simply destroyed.
2. The next spell cast is held appropriately, but when it is released, it must roll on its failure table.
3. The hair on the caster’s head immediately grows for 1 exploration turn, cascading down around their body until it reaches the floor.
4. The next spell cast is held appropriately, but its release is out of the caster’s control. Instead, it is a ticking time bomb. There is a 1 in 4 chance each exploration turn that it will go off.

Magic Glare

Magic Glare may be cast subtly without need for wild gestures or loud speech. If the caster has a reaction of at least Neutral with the target, Magic Glare can be used to shame the target out of a decision they have made. The target is entitled to a save versus Magic to resist this effect. On a failed save, the target will announce their altered decision.

For every 4 levels, the caster may expectantly ask “AND…?” after each time the target finishes explaining their altered decision. For each “AND…?”, the target is entitled to another save versus Magic. If they again fail, they will add provisos to their new decision to make it even more pleasing to the magic user. If they succeed on the save, they’ll just say “And that’s it.”

Failure:

1. The target will realize a spell was attempted upon them, and will have their reaction lowered by 2.
2. The target goes temporarily blank from having someone mess with their mind. They forget the last 2 minutes of their lives.
3.The caster lets out a fart that just…will…not…stop. It lasts for 1 full exploration turn.
4.The target begins to dance. They will continue dancing until anyone mentions that they are dancing, after which they will sheepishly stop.

Nick LS Whelan Project Roundup

Like most writers I know, I have a bad habit of committing time to more projects than I can feasibly complete. It’s the kind of thing which, intellectually, you know you should avoid. Yet somehow it just…happens. One day you realize its been three weeks since you last touched Project A, and those doodles you were working on in your spare time have become a full fledged project B. It’s a massive drain on my output, and I’ve been making an effort to reign myself in.

On the advice of Brendan, part of that effort is going to be more openness about what I’m working on. This will be difficult to me, as it seems entirely self indulgent. The satisfaction of doing a thing should come when the thing is done. Sharing half-finished work seems like an attempt to steal a little satisfaction for yourself before you’ve actually earned it. But, Brendan has one of the more successful books in the OSR, and is working on a marketing PhD, so what the fuck do I know?

So, cards on the table. Below is a catalogue of every project I’ve devoted a significant amount of time to, and which is still more or less on my radar. I’m not including anything that I’ve definitively abandoned, nor anything which hasn’t progressed beyond being some ideas scribbled down on paper. There are too many dozens of those to share.

I’m sorry if you think this is boring. I’ll make sure something really cool is scheduled for next week.

Ongoing Projects

This is stuff that will never really be “finished.” Projects which will require regular effort from me until some completely arbitrary point when I decide to stop doing them.

Papers & Pencils: This website! Hopefully that doesn’t require any further explanation. Currently it consumes about 9-12 hours of my time each week.

On a Red World Alone: My current campaign, and a frequent topic of discussion here. Eventually I’m planning to produce a 100~150 page book. It’ll primarily cover campaign setting information, tables, and the various rules adjustments I’ve used. It’s not something I’m pursuing seriously at the moment, but I’ve already written a collective 36 pages of back-end material, just to help run the game. There’s also the play reports, which take a few hours each week.

Dumb Stuff Taken Seriously: Did you know I have a podcast? Well I do! It has absolutely nothing to do with tabletop games, which is why I’ve never mentioned it here before. It’s just me and my buddy Rabbi Tzvi Kilov sitting around trying to find common ground on silly topics. When we’re on top of things, it updates weekly. When we’re not, it updates sporadically. It’s not something that either of us stress about. It’s more of a palate cleanser. An easy way to spend some time chatting with a friend, and feel like something has been accomplished at the end of it. None the less, on a week when we update it, it takes up about 4 hours of my time, between recording and editing the thing.

…Ahem: I write salacious material under a pseudonym. Without rendering that pseudonym pointless, there’s not a whole lot I can say. I make no money from it yet, but I probably get more personal recognition for it than I do for any other project I’m working on. I debated as to whether I should include this, but it’s something that consumes a chunk of my writing energy, so it would seem dishonest not to.

Imminent Projects

These are things I will release this year. Preferably in the first half of the year. I realize I have a terrible track record with deadlines, so you can take that with as much salt as you like. But, if I stop setting deadlines, that’s the same as giving up, and I won’t do that.

Bubblegum Berzerk: The working title for a completely new game that is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. It’s a kind of hyper-masculine, fast paced, guns blazing, science fantasy, dungeon runner, that exists somewhere on the gradient between role playing game and board game. It’s not the sort of thing I would have come up with on my own, but a few months back my buddy Jesse Newman invited me to a one shot. He was running a game he had quickly homebrewed himself, and let me tell you: it was a uniquely entertaining experience. I had never played another game quite like it.

During the whole last hour of the game I was distracted by all the possible rules tweaks that kept popping into my head. Afterwords, when Jesse asked me if I had enjoyed myself, I asked if he would let me co-author a publication with him, so we could sell it for mad crazy cash money. He said yes.

Since then we’ve been polishing the game up, adding some tables, some custom flavor, some sample adventures, etc. At one point we sincerely thought we could get the thing published before Christmas. Unfortunately both of us had bills to pay, and jobs to work, and that didn’t pan out. But we’re certainly close to having the writing done. After which the art & the layout stuff may take some undetermined length of time.

Be excited for this.

▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓ ▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓: This is a total copout, I know. The whole point of this post is to be more open about what I’m working on. I can say that right now, this is the project that is devouring most of my time. Roughly 6-8 hours every day, 5 days a week. It’s an adventure module. And, at least in its core concept, I think it’s probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever written.

I don’t want to say any more because I’ve already put a ton of work into how I will reveal this project to the world. The blog post announcing it is already on the schedule and everything. So in this singular instance I’m going to continue playing my cards close to my chest. But I promise: this, and that one thing in the section above, are the only things I’m keeping from you.

As Seen On TV: This is a card game I came up with a few years ago. When I started writing this post, I put it very firmly in the category below this one. At that point I hadn’t touched it in over a year, and had no plans to get back into it soon. The single playtest I’d run had been a crazy good time. But the execution of the game felt sloppy, and I could never think of how to fix that.

Then, as I’m typing up this very summary, I realized something: I’d actually played it much more recently. Not my game exactly, but another game, professionally published, which used an insanely similar resolution mechanic: Superfight.

Using that game to guide my thinking, all of the problems with As Seen on TV just fell away. Over the weekend, when I usually avoid working on projects, I couldn’t stop myself from cutting up paper and sleeving 100+ cards. I’m currently waiting on more sleeves to arrive so I can get the full game put together.

The basic idea is that one player draws some ridiculous problem. The other players then use the cards in their hands to create a ridiculous invention which solves that problem. Then they’ve gotta make an infomercial style pitch in favor of their product. At the end, the player with the problem “buys” one of the products, and that player gets 1 point.

The real trick with this one is going to be navigating the publishing process. I don’t mind self-publishing books, because there are tools which allow me to self-publish a high quality product. Card games are a whole other can of worms. I’ve never played a print-and-play card game, and I don’t want to ask other people to do so either. That means I gotta be a grown up and find a publisher.

Projects I Will Finish

None of these are part of my day-to-day writing routine at the moment. There are only so many hours in the day, and everything above this point in the list takes priority. That being said, I will not give up on any of it. I’ve spent way too much fuckin’ time on each of these to let them rot away, unread, on my hard drive. As soon as I’m done with one of the things above, something from this section will move up to fill the space.

Miscreated Creatures: The biggun, my monster book. I started working on this fucker at some point in the later half of 2013, which means it has been in serious production for 4 years now. At this point it’s pretty much a textbook example of that book that some pedantic fuck you know is always “writing,” but never actually finishes. I’m just glad I never kickstarted it.

I could write a whole post on the issues with this project alone. But, for the sake of brevity, I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes on how the last few years have gone.

I completed my second draft at some point in late 2014 or early 2015. The full book. A second draft exists for all 331 monsters. Right around the same time, two things happened. First, I had an accident which caused me to lose most of the skin on both of my hands, and prevented me from doing any writing for a few months. Second, three new monster books came out that I read: Lusus Naturae, Fire on the Velvet Horizon, and Creature Compendium.

Reading these books, and reflecting on my own 2nd draft, I realized I’d made a fundamental mistake. The very core philosophy on which I had based the writing of Miscreated Creatures was flawed. Very little of what I had written was interesting, and much of what I had written was just pointless reinvention of the wheel that was more frustrating than it was worth. I’m not talking about some kind of juvenile “ugh, I hate that thing I wrote” bullshit. The 2nd draft of Miscreated Creatures was legitimately a shitty, unlovable book.

So I started a 3rd draft, and worked at a frantic pace. Within a couple months, I had 70 of the book’s 331 monsters updated, and they are glorious. The 3rd draft is really friggin’ good, and I’m excited to share it with you.

But at this point, still in early 2015, life got in the way. My girlfriend and I hit some serious financial troubles. The kind where you spend a lot of time hungry, and you’re not sure if your relationship is going to survive. Miscreated Creatures fell off my priority list as I spent all my time looking for a job, packing up my apartment, and trying to avoid the next inevitable fight with my ladyfriend. Things finally started to get back on track in late 2015 when I found a job. An emotionally demanding, full-time job that didn’t leave me a lot of energy to write when I got home. I started working on smaller projects. I continued working more or less full time from September 2015, to December 2016. And so Miscreated Creatures still sits,

But after the nightmare that was 2015, I’m finally starting to find some stability in my life. Enough to plan my writing around. My hope is that after those two projects listed under “Immenent” are completed, Miscreated Creatures can go back to being my #1 priority, and I can finally get this beast out the door.

Dungeon Moon: Out of everything I’ve ever done, I think more people have expressed interest in seeing a Dungeon Moon book than anything else. (Though ORWA may have eclipsed it recently.)

The thing is, very little of what I have actually written for Dungeon Moon would work as the basis for a book. It could be repurposed for a book, but I can’t really publish it the way it was originally written, because the way it was originally written was completely unsustainable, and barely usable.

Fortunately, about 7 months ago, I stumbled on an idea that I called Unspecified Dungeon Space. It’s something I’m planning to write about in a future post, but TL;DR it’s the missing piece of the Dungeon Moon puzzle for me. Now my mind is swirling with ideas for how I could put together a Dungeon Moon book. The only thing I’m missing is some space in my schedule. It’ll be a long time before I have that, and even when I do, it’ll be a long road before Dungeon Moon is ready to publish. But when I finally get there, I’m confident you’ll love what I’ve got to share with you.

The Boulder Dungeon: A little less than 2 years ago, a buddy of mine wanted to play some D&D. So I spent 10 minutes coming up with a dungeon, then I ran it for him. He died 3 times, then gave up. Later, I talked about the experience on Google+, and Cecil Howe spontaneously drew some art and maps of my idea. Then he told me to key them, so I did.

The funny thing is that the writing for the Boulder Dungeon is about 80% complete. Both of us fell off the project, but it really just needs a few tweaks and some polish before it’s done. After that it just needs some art, and some layout work, and it’ll be ready to share. But as with many things, all I lack is time. I’m already writing 12-14 hours a day, and can’t really push that any further without breaking my poor fragile little brain.

The Sideways Tower of Slaggoth the Necromancer: Do you remember The Hidden Tomb of Slaggoth the Necromancer? It was the first module I completed and published, and people seemed to like it. Well the sequel has been sitting on my shelf, more or less a complete first draft, since 2014.

The vast majority of the creative work is done: maps, room descriptions, NPCs. It’s a lot bigger, and a lot more interesting than Slaggoth’s tomb, and I’m still excited to share it with you. I just need to find the time to finish it.

The Luncheon: One day in like…friggin’ 2013, I sat down at lunch and I sketched out a dungeon on a pad of paper. Every day for a week I came back to this dungeon and worked on it for an hour before going back to work. I dubbed it the Luncheon, and it was really kinda clever.

I later expanded the dungeon to exist in a symbiotic relationship with a town built above it, full of people who don’t want anyone exploring the dungeon beneath their town. It’s a small, simple project, but one that I think people would enjoy. Like the Boulder Dungeon and Slaggoth’s Sideways Tower, most of the work on the Luncheon is long finished. I just got distracted when I started the second draft.

1,000 Dragons: Like I said in my post about how I structure encounter tables, I think our games need more Dragons in them. I’ve got this whole dragon philosophy that I want to share, how to make them, how to run them, how often they should appear, etc. And because I can’t ever take the simple road, I figured I’d make 1000 examples to help communicate that philosophy effectively.

Currently there’s only about 250 dragons in the book, but that’s a solid start!

Projects in Limbo
I honestly don’t know what will happen with any of these projects. I’ve put enough work into them that I’d like to do something with what I’ve written. But I haven’t written enough to feel bound to finish them.

Anything is possible with these. Some might move up the list over time. Other might end up as much smaller projects than they were initially conceived as. Still others might be rolled into other projects, or just scrapped altogether.

They Came from the Silver Wheel: This is a weird one. One day, someone asked me to run a campaign for them. I said yes, then I sat down and wrote a 6 page player document on the spot. I even made some art for it.

The idea of the campaign was that the players were these semi-brainwashed people who would occasionally wake up standing outside of a giant silver disk. Their job was to collect fuel for the disk on whatever world they landed on–a different campaign setting each time. Once they gathered the fuel, they got back on the disk, the session ended, and the disk moved on to a new world.

The PCs were essentially slaves, but there were some crazy cool benefits for remaining enslaved. Laser guns, hit point boosts, the works. That being said, it’s explicitly stated in the document that if the players want, they can just not return to the disk. They’re not the only ones slaves, so it’ll eventually get fueled up and leave without them, leaving them stranded forever in whatever campaign setting they chose to settle down in. Their cool toys will all break down, and they’ll have to start from scratch in a new world.

I was incredibly excited about the project for all of about a week. I still think there’s a lot of potential in the idea, but I never did end up running the game, so it never really had an opportunity to develop properly.

Serial Killer Board Game: A slasher movie twist on asymetrical war games. One player plays the killer, while the others all play as potential victims. The players move around the board,trying to escape without getting killed, and the killer tries to kill everyone. I’ve come up with a dozen different board game ideas over the years, but settled on pursuing this one because it seemed like the most managable concept.

I’ve got a thrift store copy of monopoly that I’ve chopped up and repainted to experiment with. So far, though, I haven’t managed to make the game even slightly fun. Which, ya know, is kind of a problem.

The Clitoris is the Devil’s Doorbell: One day I found this image, and I showed it to my girlfriend:

She and I thought it was riotously funny. Then we then spent the next hour or so pacing around each other, talking about what kind of wacky adventure module could arise from that idea. We came up with this horrible hell dildo which could turn a vagina into a portal to hell. And what if the church was keeping it in hiding? And what if a rebellious young nun who had been forced into the convent decided to use the dread artifact?

Long story short, there’s a fairly well researched outline of this idea sitting on my hard drive. At one point I even spent several hours pouring over maps of France looking for a suitable location to set it in. If I ever do finish it (and, of all these projects, this is easily my favorite), it’ll be set in a village based off of Baume Les Messieurs.

SciFi Game: I have a strong dislike for pretty much every Science Fiction RPG in the OSR. I’ve read a few which I’d call decent, but just don’t fit my needs. Others are…dumb, and bad, and awful. Anyway, a few years back, there was this SciFiRPG which everyone told me was amazing, so I read it. It was not amazing, which made me frustrated.

I got myself pretty worked up over this at the time, so I started to sketch out my own SciFi rules. Something which stuck to the core D&D model, just with different base assumptions about who the characters were and what they’d be doing. I spent about two months working on this in my spare time, before I realized I was distracting myself from more important projects, and that I needed to shelve this idea before it consumed too much of my time.

I’d still love to complete a Science Fiction game, but at this point I think it’s more likely that everything I wrote here will be rolled into ORWA if the players ever manage to find a space ship, and escape mars.

Fallin: Ironically, Fallin is the one project on this whole list which I am almost certain I will abandon, but it’s also probably the single most complete game I’ve ever written from scratch. (With the exception of Bubblegum Berzerk).

The goal of Fallin was to emulate the feel of the best Fallout video games, without ripping them off completely, and without trying to emulate their mechanics in the slightest. At it’s core, the game was a B/X clone, tinkered with until it was barely recognizable.

The reason I probably won’t move forward with Fallin is ORWA. When my players in ORWA discovered the Internet, I was forced me to quickly add some technological elements to the game, so I drew on Fallin. At this point, about 80% of the cool stuff from Fallin is already in ORWA, so it seems redundant to persist with the project.

The only reason I haven’t written Fallin off completely is that there’s still a lot of cool stuff in it that doesn’t fit in ORWA. Most likely I’ll just try to fit it into a later draft. Other stuff may just be lost to the ether. Gotta kill your babies, yo.