On A Red World Alone: The Year 2527

Session 1: Character Creation, and Duckers | May 2527

Played on April 20, 2022

======

Dramatis Personae
Idara Māpès (Ava)
Udon (Chris)
Target “the Chef” Dugan (Elias)
Sydney Australia (Warren)
Tommy Crystals (PresGas)
Schlorp Snail Person (Capable & Prepared Loyal Hireling)
Schlippy (7 y/o Snail Sibling)
Bonekid (Ty)
Gofar Mundo (Marsgirl)
Triple Dave (Eric)
Child #320, pink haired anime protagonist.
YUDONO MØPËD (Phil)

=======

After character creation, it was decided to skip the domain turn for this first session to give the players a better sense of the world they’re living in before they have to be major players in it. Word came to the party that there was a group of scientists working to understand and control the mutagenic process, and doing it at a fairly high level of scientific sophistication considering the genreally low educational standards of the Dome. Further, they learned that these scientsits were having some trouble with local toughs. The party was sent to see if they could make friendly contact with the scientists, and open the door to strong diplomatic ties by solving their problems for them.

The lab’s location was within Redstone Lords territory, and the party opted to venture through the sewer to avoid any potential encounters with them. On the way, Gofar Mundo tripped a pit trap while acting as Scout. She was just about to be hauled off by a group of 6″ tall rat-headed musclemen, but the party convinced them to take a bag of flour instead. The little creatures are apparently quite fond of baking, and speak a language composed entirely of flexing which is super-intelligible. They told the party where their baked good could be purchased in future.

Further on through the sewers, the party spotted a peculiar child looming over the body of a horse-sized salamander. They called out to the child, who started, and backed away. The child had no face! A strange shimmery motion appeared between itself and the coprse, which somehow appeared to be more profoundly dead afterwords, though it was hard to pinpoint why that was. The child backed out of the room then, and the party didn’t interfere. A successful Alchemistry check allowed Udon to identify that the potency of the creature had been drained away, such that no alchemical essences could be gathered from it. Tommy Crystals poured holy water on it, which did nothing. Presumably what the child did to the creature was physical, not spiritual. Also Gofar drank some holy water and gained resistance to turning until she next urinates, then used her empty flask to collect some unwholesome salamander goo. Also Sydney harvested enough of the salamander’s skin to make a pair of gloves later. Also Triple Dave mixed some of the salamander blood goo into his gasoline canister to make a dubious salamander slime napalm.

The party made contact with the scientists, who appeared to all be members of a stable mutation. Somewhat rare! They were all duck people. They were suspicious of the party at first, but allowed them within, and Yudono quietly (but strongly) bonded with one of them over their shared appreciation for Cowboy Hats. The ducks explained their situation: the location where they’d set up camp gave them access to uniquely potent and diverse sources of mutagenic properties. It was an ideal location for their research, and couldn’t be moved. But a group of Fallen Lords—peoples who had grown up believing they’d be in the ruling caste of society but were cast into a class of untouchables due to gene-splicing errors—had set up camp in a nearby building, and were hassling them mercilessly. They seemed to believe they could undo their genetic bad luck by forcing the duck people to ‘fix’ them, and kept attacking and attepting to kidnap the duck people at every opportunity.

After due consideration of the problem, the party took a dual approach to ridding the duck people of the fallen lord nuisance:

-Triple Dave got up to the roof of a nearby building, and got to chatting with folks living on the floors above the Fallen Lord’s stronghold. Apparently the Fallen Lords were really messing up the inhabitents ability to live their lives by refusing to let them come-and-go from their own home at will. There was already plenty of resentment brewing, and Triple Dave got it stirred up so the party can try to leverage it at an opportune moment.

-Idara goaded the Fallen Lords into solving their dispute with a public battle between rival champions. Both sides are definitely lying about being willing to let the fight settle things, but The Chef is going to do a heck of a job MCing.

NEXT SESSION:
-Champions Battle!
-Remember Eric rolled a 12 in his attempt to get the building riled up.

======
Skill Points

Gofar Mundo +1 (Failed Street Smarts in the sewers)

Triple Dave +1 (Failed Engineering check to figure out a safe and sturdy bridge)

======

Loot

Red pink skin for gloves from giant salamander
Flask of unwholesome salamander goo
Dubious Salamander Slime Napalm

======
Injuries
Gofar Mundo: 5 dmg

Session 2: A 1-in-36 Failure Chance Is Still A Chance | May 2527

Played on May 4, 2022

======
Dramatis Personae
Idara Māpès (Ava)
Udon (Chris)
Tommy Crystals (PresGas)
Schlorp Snail Person (Capable & Prepared Loyal Hireling)
Schlippy (7 y/o Snail Sibling)
Triple Dave (Eric)
Child #320, pink haired anime protagonist.

======
Domain Turn Recap
(Run at the end of the session rather than at the start.)

World Event

“Large amounts of food have been ruined by a bacterial outbreak. Do your citizens need to tighten their belts, or will you open your reserves and have 10 fewer food to work with for the next d6 domain turns?” The party opted to open their reserves. The d6 rolled a 1, so the famine only lasts through this domain turn and won’t affect future sessions.

Progress Bars

No Progress Bars are Currently Set

Faction action
The Overunder Duchy has converted one of the four pillars—the one formerly owned by The Internet—into a new Cathedral Beneath the Black, and installed the Terapontiff in it. This is widely regarded as a good and cool thing for them to do. It has won good favor for the Overunder Duchy, and reminded everyone that it was the party who displaced the Terapontiff in the first place.

The Cult of Akiovasha holds their annual hallowed mega-sex-party! It is hugely disruptive. Everyone is busy and distracted. Tough to get people to do anything serious amid the festival atmosphere.

Player Actions
Triple Dave: Borrows 1000gp from the faction’s coffers in order to try and make a quick buck buying up large novelty items to sell during the dome-wide Akiovashan celebrations. It doesn’t wind up working out, and Triple Dave loses money on the deal. He is 70cc in debt to the faction.

Idara Māpès: Recruits “Car” as a hireling from the Martial Wrasslin Ascendancy. He is a fighter, too honest for his own good, who grapples at 2d10.

Udon: Used the distraction of the Akiovashan festivities to send ASCII on a commando raid against an old Redstone Lord senate family known to be keeping slaves still. She successfully freed 18 captive humans. One of these is a gourmet chef who is amenable to being recruited as an expert; and considers that she owes the party a favor. She will prepare 1 banquet for them of any size as a show of thanks.

======
Adventure Turn Recap

A festival developed quickly around the duel the party had challenged the fallen lords to. Idara found herself facing off against Sigmund Nonac, a mighty fighter wielding a trident and rocket-heelies who managed to injure her severely. Fortunately, her attacks were bolstered by a haste spell cast by the erstwhile Bonekid (who was struck with fade immediately after casting the spell). Idara slew her foe in spectacular fashion, causing his rocket heelies to ignite a pool of gasoline to get the crowd going into a fervor. This fervor, combined with the crowded raucous atmosphere, was made use of by Triple Dave to empower his spell of Confusion. Unfortunately, despite this and several other precautions he took to empower his spell significantly while keeping a failure chance of only 1, he rolled a 1. Then he used his re-roll and rolled a 1 again, so the spell was completely ineffective. Not only that, the spell backfired, creating a viral cognitohazard rumor that Triple Dave is a very stinky guy. Just farts all the time, and they’re special evil wizard farts. Goddamn. Unpleasant to be around, that fella.

The fallen lords moved to break their truce at this point, and Idara shouted “LET’S FUCKIN’ RIOT!” The denizens of the building claimed by the Fallen Lords had already been primed towards this in the previous session, and were quick to take up torch and pitchfork. Others from nearby buildings joined in, and Triple Dave cast his second spell of the day—this time a simple straightforward confusion spell without any additional empowerments—and the leader of the Fallen Lords failed his safe. The mob overwhelmed the Fallen Lords completely, killing many of them, and sending what few survivors there were running for their lives.

The party returned to the Duckers, who were enthused to see their foes on the run, but wanted the party to help them press their advantage. There was still a small force of Fallen Lords holding territory in the dungeon the Duckers needed access to. They asked the party to help get them out, and the party agreed. They provided clever strategies, but stayed out of direct conflict due to Idara’s injuries and Triple Dave’s complete lack of spells and the sacrifice of several bodily functions to empower his failed spell. They managed to advance down the hallway under fire by using the smoke from a burning pile of wet clothes on a large dish, pushed down the hallway as they went. They managed to get close enough to slip into a side corridor without anyone taking fatal injuries (though one Ducker was severely hurt.) They then blocked up the corridor with doors and moldering dropceiling tiles in an attempt to smoke the Fallen Lords out.

Once the room went quiet the party moved forward to check it out, and discovered the room had an exit the Duckers hadn’t been aware of! The Fallen Lords had opened a hole in the wall to gain access to an elevator shaft. They had a winch set up, and it seems the defenders of this room had used it to escape down deeper into the dungeon. Not a complete victory, but with this room controlled the Duckers now felt confident in their ability to starve the remaining Fallen Lords into surrender. There were no viable food sources down in the dungeon there, and the Duckers controlled all the exits. While exploring this room the party found some credits, and the parts from a Tank which the fallen lords were apparently disassembling down below, and bringing up here piece-by-piece, labelling each piece for eventual reassembly. Unforunately, none of the fun parts had been brought up yet, but Udon pointed out the Duckers could use the armor plates to reinforce their walls, which the Duckers did.

Before the party left, the coolest Ducker took off their cowboy hat and put it on Idara’s head. It was totally rad.

On the way home the party met with the 6″ tall rat-headed musclemen once again. The two groups had a nice time together. They exchanged lead weights for baked goods (6 alcoholic breads, 6 churos, 6 peanut butter cookies with fork imprints); Idara showed off her lats, which the rat-headed musclemen marveled at. The party received a map of all the musclefolk’s traps so they could be avoided in future, and the group parted ways on very friendly terms.

Before reaching home the party encountered a strange candlewax entity filling an entire passageway, who wished to purchase their luck. It was willing to pay 1000cc in exchange for adding d6 to everyone’s starting saving throws next session. Most of the party demurred, but Udon was game. He haggled with the entity, who agreed to pay him 1000cc in exchange for adding 3d6 to his saving throw next session. Udon will automatically fail all saving throws next session. He attempted to harvest some of the creature’s wax as well, but was caught and asked to stop, so he did.

The party returned home and had their domain turn, during which Idara and Udon had a disagreement that resulted in Idara challenging Udon to a duel. Udon wanted to duel in private, while Idara wanted to settle their difference publicly. Both were making an appeal to social norms. Idara rolled a 3 and Udon rolled a 12, so folks profoundly agreed with Udon’s interpretation of social norms, and Idara conceded the point. No duel occurred.

======
Skill Points
Udon: +1 (Failed to steal some wax from the Candleman)

======
Loot
184cc taken from the Fallen Lords camp. (46cc each for Idara, Udon, Tommy, and Triple Dave )

-Udon got 1000cc in exchange for his luck next session.
-A gourmet chef owes the party a favor.

======
Injuries

Haven turn. All injuries healed.

======
Next Session
-Udon automatically fails any saving throw he needs to make.

Session 3: The Electric Gorilla Association | June 2527

Played on May 18 2022

======
Dramatis Personae
Idara Māpès (Ava)
Udon (Chris)
Triple Dave (Eric)
Child #320, pink haired anime protagonist.
Gofar Mundo (Mars)
Target “the Chef” Dugan (Elias)
Norman “Normie” Atomic (Pollux)

======
Domain Turn Recap

World Event
Good George falls from grace. He was out maneuvered by his political adversaries, and exposed for the extensive corruption of his office. He was transformed into a Fallen Lord as punshment. Has no social standing. If the party can find him and convince him to turn traitor, they’ll have an information source familiar with many aspects of high level workings of the Redstone Lords. Though it won’t necessarily be easy. Even the disgrace of a Fallen Lord is better than the Disgrace of a Traitor.

Progress Bars
Food Inspections <-> (Setbacks 0/0) (-3 food for duration)
Develop Space-Drops <——> (Setbacks 0/3)

Faction action

The Overunder Duke managed to learn of the existence of the party’s breathe-outside-the-dome-yeast, and its location. He threatened to make the information public unless the party sent him a supply sufficient for his own people (like…all of them). The party opted to just give the yeast to everyone in the whole Dome in a big party.

Ashgar asked if he could bring some of his chums to the party’s space station to take some observations of the moon in its current orbit around Jupiter. Why? Don’t worry about it. The sophisticated astrological observations provide a temporary bonus to starting any new research on space-based stuff.

Player Actions

Mars & Pollux: Orchestrated a big party for releasing their breathe-outside-the-dome yeast to the public. They used Nrrk the in-house propogandist, and brought in the gourmet chef who owes them a favor to manage the food. (thus spending the favor they were owed). It went really well (they rolled an 18 with bonuses!) and enabled two rolls on the Good Reputation table:
The ranks of the Party’s Waerods swell with experienced recruits. Each wareod gains 1xp without needing to fight a battle.
A research team woring for Team Gopher has found themselves at loose ends, and is so touched by the party’s generosity that they’ve decided to devote their spare time to working on a project for the party. The party will still need to pay all the normal costs associated with an R&D project, but they don’t need to use one of their own teams. Of course, Team Gopher will probably load these guys down with work if they’re seen being idle for too long. So you’ll need to start the project next session!

Eric: Set Tandy’s research team to develop a method by which objects could be dropped safely and accurately from orbit, down to the surface of mars. Starts 1 progress bar lower due to bonus from Ashgar’s faction doing some complimentary research in the party’s station. (Progress bar: 6, 3 setbacks)

Ava & Elias: Work together to establish a Food Inspection program, to prevent future food failures. (Progress bar 1, 3 food for duration)

Chris: Did some casual diplomacy with Ashgar the Resurrector. Learned that Ashgar thinks the moon has a really BIG chum on it. Someone he could really be good pals with. That’s hush-hush though, don’t tell anybody!

======
Adventure Turn Recap

Hoping to take advantage of Good George’s fall from grace, the party moved into Redstone Lords territory under cover of the big party going on surrounding their distribution of the Yeast. They managed to get a good sense of where he might be from calling up the tiny flexy rat-headed dudes. (During this conversation they also learned that bodybuilding competitions are like their slam poetry.) The party then managed to penetrate deep into Redstone Lord territory, right near the area the now-Fallen Good George was living in, while avoiding any encounters.

In a nearby building the party asked around, trying to learn what they could about Good George before risking the minor stir they might cause by associating with Free Lords of their own free will. Aside from some general anectdotes about how distasteful non-Fallen Lords think Fallen Lords are, the party didn’t manage to learn much. They did meet a woman who claimed to have the Dome’s biggest ball of twine. She charged 1cc per person to look at it. Upon seeing that it was indeed quite large, Triple Dave offered to buy it because Oversize Novelt Objects empower his spells and this would work good for his laboratory. He manged to haggle her down to 175.

The party then moved over to the building where all the Fallen Lords lived. They stuck out like sore thumbs, but nobody really bothered them. They found a fine pants vendor and bought some pants, but weren’t able to get any specific information about Good George until they came upon a trio trying to bum drinks from folks walking by the alcohol vendors. The party paid for their drinks, and learned that Good George was generally disliked because he thought he was better than other Fallen Lords, and that he lived alone on the 8th floor of the building.

The party went right up and knocked on Good George’s door, and offered him a job. At first he was disintersted, and even became offended when they suggested he might share information about what he knew of the Redstone Lord’s state secrets. After all: in a generation his minor crimes would be forgotten and his punishment would be seen for the overreaction that it was. His accomplishments would be recognized and he’d be remembered as a hero was was unfairly martyred in the name of petty politics. He was convinced of this, and why ruin it all by retroactively earning his punishment by turning traitor? The party then switched their tactic, offering him a job using his political and rhetorical skills for them. They’d furnish him with good pay and nice living accomodations, he’d be able to make use of his talents, but wouldn’t need to do anything he felt would betray his principals. After some cajoling he agreed to this, and packed his things.

Before leaving, the party wanted to get some liquid cash, and so decided to perform a smash-n’-grab on one of the other apartments. They climbed out along the outside of the building, shuffling past window after window until they found a place that appeared to be nicely furnished. They got the window open (who locks an 8th story window?) and luckily the place was deserted! Unfortunately it had no obvious or easily transportable wealth. Aside from a nice miniature raspberry plant, the apartment was obnoxiously macho. Sparsely decorated, with a weapon-filled gym and a whole shelf of “Soldier of Fortune” magazines, guides to military strategy, etc. The party filled their inventory with as much as they could carry, and were just leaving when they heard the jangle of keys on the other side of the door.

They moved quickly, and the door was spiked, but climbing along the outside of a building is slow going. The occupant quickly resorted to shooting his own door to get into the apartment, and it wasn’t too long before he was sticking his head out of the window. He fired off a shot, nearly hitting Norman Atomic. He threw his jammed gun back into the apartment, and before he was able to get another to bear Triple Dave managed to cast a spell of confusion on him, which caused the very angry man to leap out of the apartment window towards Norman Atomic, getting nowhere near close enough to grab him, and plummeting 8 stories to his death. Norman Atomic slipped back into his apartment to grab the jammed gun.

The party made it back to Good George’s apartment, then slipped out of the building. Many of the very angry man’s posessions were destroyed or stolen by the time they got down there, but the party managed to filch his purse.

The party headed home, but was stalled by an encounter which must be resolved next session.

======
Skill Points

No one earned skill points this session.

======
Loot

Triple Dave is now 251cc in debt (70 previous + 175 for yarn + 3 for jeans + 3 for a round of drinks)

Martial Technique manual for Placid Hand.
Dome’s Largest Ball of Twine (Worth 200cc for Triple Dave’s laboratory)
Glock 21 (Combat Die x 2 Damage)(Pollux)
Good George (Propogandist employed by party’s faction)
Butterfly Knife for Child #320. She is…very good with it.
A nice proper combat-ready Katana.

Miniature Raspberry bush (200cc)
Party managed to carry out 28 Encumbrance worth of Books, Magazines, and nice household items. These sold for 1400cc.
Angry Guy’s Purse: 100cc

That’s 1700cc total, or 284cc each for Ava, Chris, Eric, Elias, Pollux, and Mars.

======
Martial Technique: Placid Hand
To learn this technique, the fighter must charge the position of an entrenched foe wielding ranged weapons.

Once learned, the fighter may spend one combat action aiming a ranged weapon in order to roll their damage with advantage. A second combat round spent aiming allows advantage with 3 dice.

======
New Character
Norman “Normie” Atomic (Pollux)
Fighter 1
Boon: Domestic Helper (Cowboy-acting fellow with a slack, furry tail 12 feet long, which they trip over frequently, and dream of using as a lasso one day. They’ve got a knack for accounting, but are a bit down on it because it’s not very glamarous for a cowboy.)
Mutation: Baseline Human
Starting Background: Techno-Chosen Outcast
Vice: Gluttony
Baggage: 10,000cc in debt (You took out a loan from Tall Beth, and put up your soul as collateral. She can take it with a snap of her fingers if you miss payment.)

======
Injuries

None

======
Next Session

Adventure Phase begins with an encounter we ended the previous session with.

A research team woring for Team Gopher has found themselves at loose ends, and is so touched by the party’s generosity that they’ve decided to devote their spare time to working on a project for the party. The party will still need to pay all the normal costs associated with an R&D project, but they don’t need to use one of their own teams. Of course, Team Gopher will probably load these guys down with work if they’re seen being idle for too long. So you’ll need to start the project next session!

Session 4: Serious Dildo Accusations | July 2527

Played on June 1, 2022

======
Dramatis Personae
Idara Māpès (Ava)
Car, wrasslin’ religion fighter.
Udon (Chris)
Triple Dave (Eric)
Child #320, pink haired anime protagonist.

======
Domain Turn Recap

Consequences
The party receives a gift of a large shipment of day-old bread from the ratheaded flexers. (It’s totally still good). This functions as 3 single-use Food, which the party can apply towards any project they wish. Still good bread.

World Event

A lone agent, one of the last remaining Techno-Priests, bombs the party’s education program. They deliver a manifesto to the party’s TV station after the fact, claiming responsibility in the name of the techno-faith, which prohibits learning the secrets of The Past Gods. The bombing was extremely successful. The education needs to be rebuilt from scratch.

Progress Bars
Idara & Target’s Food Inspectors – COMPLETED! This is not an institution, but a static tool. It prevents certain results from occurring on the World Event>Need Arises in the Party’s Faction result. Because two characters worked on it, those bad results will now become opportunities!

Space-Drops <*—–> (Setbacks 0/3) – The final form of this R&D project is still in development.

Faction action

The Hell’s Tennants performed a major raid in Team Gopher’s territory. A hole opened up in the ground, and dozens of mangled horn-headed people emerged, dragging dozens more back down the hole with them. Pursuit was attempted, but failed. The tunnels are too labyrinthine.

The Lords of Light establish a territroy-wide childcare program. This benificent move is widely praised by all decent people of the Dome. To those a bit more informed, it is obvious that the LoL are up to something.

Player Actions

Idoru: Sent two waerods to round up Technotopian cells. Largely found them in the South East of the party’s territory, and a little into the borderlands with the Lords of Light. They managed to round up enough people to form two work crews who will be put to work rebuilding the Education Institute. (Reduce progress bar by 1)

Triple Dave: Employed the party’s propaganda department to seek donations and support to rebuild the Technical School. The campaign was only modestly effective. (Reduce progress bar by 1)

Udon: Sent ASCII to infiltrate the new Lords of Light daycare system, with specific instructions to limit her activities to observation. After a few weeks she came back to report that their weirdly wholesome. Too wholesome, as if they’ve been designed to please as many people as possible. She also noted that close observation made it all look very slapdash and temporary, as if they’re not intending to keep this program around for very long. Perhaps looking for some good press to cover up something else they’re planning to do?

======
Adventure Turn Recap

While returning home after their last adventure the party was ambushed by a crew of 5 Akiovashans, demanding Udon surrender himself into their custody so he could be tried for the theft of their sacred dildo. They came prepared to fight, but Udon negotiated. He suggested he’d be willing to come along peacefully if they took their case in for arbitration with a neutral third party, and the Akiovashans agreed. The two groups set out together for Outsider territory.

On the way the party encountered a dancing man in a skin-tight suit. Various wared dangled from his suit, each with an attached price. It was mostly drugstore-quality children’s toys, but there were a few good items and the party purchased a red healing potion (which induces rages as a side effect). The man also advertised his skill as a sage, which the party suggested might be a quick way to clear Udon’s name, but the Akiovashans were unwilling to accept the word of this random guy as evidence. Only adventurers are wise enough fools to listen to those sorts of ramblings.

A little further on they encountered Ooze-In-A-Business-Suit, who just wanted a good firm business handshake. He digested a bit of Udon’s hand, and claimed to be a very good lawyer, but it was not true.

A little further on the party encountered a person whose hands had recently been violently removed, and the stums cauterized. He was stumbling about, rambling something about fingers and the loss of his art. Udon pickpocketed some coins and paintbrushes out of his pants, but otherwise ignored him.

The party finally arrived at the Outsider Justice Hall. This one was located in more recently taken territory, and as such displayed force of arms more overtly than most Outsider public buildings. The party secured a meeting with a judge. While they waited they brosed the lobby magazines. Nobody picked up Cult Quarterly to read Ace Reporter Willie Kypho’s final report before moving on to bigger and better things. Instea they got to digging through some local ‘zines with no more than a 7 block distribution radius, and saw an article claiming the author had uncovered evidence of a mostly-complete subterranean rail network that just never got turned on! The article included the author’s address if the party wants to follow up.

When meeting with the adjudicator, it was agreed that the wronged party would pay the other 7000cc. The party and the Akiovashans presented their evidence. The Akiovashan’s was all based on circumstance and witness testimony. Udon didn’t have an alibi, but did poke some holes in the reliability of the Akiovashan’s case. The judge essentially ruled a mistrial. Neither group had proven anything to her, but she’d be open to reopening the case if any further evidence could be brought to bear. The Akiovashans were unhappy about this, but with all the Outsider muscle around, couldn’t seriously contest it. The two groups went their seperate ways, but this issue will definitely recur if the party does nothing to resolve it.

Interested in resolving the issue and claiming that sweet 7000cc, the party ventured out to meet with a fence they had reason to believe may have handled the dildo. They learned it had been sold, but not who it had been sold to.

Remembering the skin-tight suit fellow they’d met earlier, the party returned to where they’d met him. On the way they stumbled on a small raid of Hell’s Tenants emerging from the ground. They waited until a few heads had poked through, then flipped a nearby car onto the hole and ran away.

A little further on they encountered the Giga Zucchini vendor! Beloved by everyone! His zucchini are a panacea for ills of the heart, soul, and dyck. Everyone enjoyed some of his fine product, and he directed them just down the road to where he’d seen the very same sage the party was looking for.

The party met with the sage, paid his price (700cc!) and got the address of where the Dildo is currently located!

======
Skill Points

Udon gains 1 skill point for failing his Alchemistry check to split the Red Vial potion into 3 potions.
Triple Dave gains 1 skill point for not knowing the language “Ooze”
Idoru gains 1 skill point for not knowing the language “Ooze”

======
Loot

Red vial which heals 3d8 but causes uncontrollable rage for the same number of rounds.

Udon: 8cc & paint brushes

The spell “Water Breathing” (OSE page 85) stolen from a dead Comet Caller’s manse:
Duration 1 day, range 30′. The subject can breathe water freely by means of the spell. It doesn’t prevent them from breathing air, nor does it give them any special swimming skill.

The subject’s breathing becomes labored, penalizing any physical activity by 2, reducing their speed by half, and forcing them to rest very frequently.
The subject can only breathe water.
Water pours freely out of the subjects nose and mouth. Most actions are prevented by this, though movement at half speed is possible The water is voluminous enough to fill a 10′ cube room in 10 minutes.

======
Injuries

Udon took 1 damage from shaking hands with the business slime.
Party rested and recuperated in their Haven, restoring all health to full.

======
Next Session

The search for the Dildo!

C’mon Nick, you seriously need to remember to include hirelings.

Session 4: Dildopulon — The Sussiest Baka | August 2527

Played on June 15, 2022

======
Dramatis Personae
Udon (Chris)Played on June 15, 2022
Target “the Chef” Dugan (Elias)
Gofar Mundo (Marsworms)

======
Domain Turn Recap

Consequences
The Ducker scientists studying the mutagenic energy nexus have managed to distill a bit of concentrated mutagen. In thanks for the party’s help, they send over one vial of the stuff (fully 1/3rd their whole supply). Whoever drinks it may roll on the Character Creation Mutation table with 3d6 (drop the lowest)

World Event

Melissa the Philaquamort has been publicly devoured by her own creations. Tall Beth is claiming responsibility. Her seclusium was presumably looted by Tall Beth, but she won’t have taken everything. There could be valuable artifacts there still…

Progress Bars

Space-Drops (Setbacks 1/3)
The party is able to orbit-drop objects from their space station onto roughly 25% of the surface of mars (centered around the Dome, which the station is in geostationary orbit above.) Each drop requires individual calculations due to atmospheric complications. Each drop also requires resources that will be destroyed during the drop, and thus must be re-purchased for each one. When the drop occurs roll a d6: (1-3 Exactly on the desired location, 4-5: 1 mile from the desired location in a random direction, 6: 5 miles from the desired location)
Rod Drop: Highly effective at destroying structures or busting bunkers. Effective enough that it could unite a lot of people against whoever used it. Each drop costs 1000cc, and would completely obliterate basically whatever it lands on, barring exceptional countermeasures. Calculations take d6 – 1 hours.
Safe Drop: If you want the thing you drop to still exist once it lands on the surface, it’s significantly more complicated. Each drop costs 600cc + 10cc per pound of dropped material. Calculations take d6 – 1 days.
(Drops outside this 25% range are allowed, but targeting is much less precise until the party has eyes on that side of the planet. Add 10% to the cost of the drop. Calculation time is rolled with disadvantage. Accuracy roll a d10: 1: Exactly on desired location, 2-3 1 mile away, 4-5: 5 miles away, 6+: d10*10 miles away)
Additionally: The party has an orbital map covering 25% of the martian surface.

SETBACK OCCURS [RESOLVED]: In order to build the drop guidance system, the R&D team needs access to a bit of advanced tech they have no way of manufacturing themselves. Tandy, being a former Internet operative herself, suggests that any of the surviving members of the Internet High Council might have access to the needed parts: Madam Crucifixion, Doctor Guilotine, Firing Squad…each would want something in exchange, though.

Faction action

Ashgar: Numerous graveyards around the dome are raided for corpses. The Outsiders in particular are incensed about this. Ashgar’s timetable is tight! He needed more chums to parter with! There is a public outcry in every faction’s territory, including the player’s, for authorities to find and punish the culprits.

Redstone Lords: Openly declare an end to hostilities. The current borders are exactly where they ought to be, as negotiated by the gods and made manifest by humans. They make a show of disbanding all but a few Waerods for personal defense. Anyone really paying attention can see their army remains quite large, but they do a good job of hiding it.

Player Actions

Udon: Distributes large amounts of string to children throughout the dome, and teaches them to play “Cat’s Cradle.” Performs a full blown propoganda action to accomplish this, including creating some children’s programming for the party’s television network. The campaign is incredibly effective. Every kid in the dome is HOOKED on playing Cat’s Cradle now.

Target: Contacts Firing Squad to negotiate access to the tech needed to overcome the setback on the Space Drop project. As it turns out, Firing Squad really hates the Electric Gorilla Association because he’s never done quite as well for himself since the Internet was destroyed. But he also doesn’t fully understand the value of the item being negotiated for. He clearly thinks he’s wildly overcharging the party when he demands 2500cc for it, but Tandy assures Target that it’s worth triple that amount. Target takes out a loan to cover the cost.

Gophar: Gets on the horn with Ashgar the Resurrector, and convinces him to specifically target the graveyards of the Redstone Lords in his further lootings. Next session this will result in a significant advantage on a Propagandize action against the Redstone Lords.

======
Adventure Turn Recap

Location of the Akiovashan’s sacred dildo in hand, the party set out. They’d only gone a few blocks, however, when they heard a strange sound. Like an old dial-up modem. A moment later 5 identical people rushed them from around a corner. They were immediately violent, and devestated the in the first round, reducing everyone to 0hp. The party fled, and fortunately Udon recognized the area well enough that he was able to lead the party into a quick escape from their pursuers. After the beating they took, the party was forced to rest and recuperate. They found someone willing to feed and shelter the whole group for 30cc. Each party member was able to restore an HD roll worth of hit points. The rest took 8 hours, in which time events transpired which made the party’s task more difficult.

On conferring with one another and their contacts back at faction HQ, the party realized the attack was consistent with an attack from the Aliens. The sound was their teleportation device’s signature, and the identical bodies were probably disguise mech suits.

Further along their journey the party noticed a strange creature made of giant fingers climbing into a 3rd story window, followd by the room’s occupant screaming in terror. Udon deftly climbed up to the window. Target attempted to follow, but slipped when he was 96% of the way up, and Udon wasn’t able to grab hold of him in time. Target plumetted to the ground, reduced to 0hp for a second time in one session. Upon seeing this, Gofar Mundo opted to take the long way around and take the stairs.

Udon faced the creature without his companions, and saw it was menacing a woman in a beret who appeared utterly terrified. After examining his options and not being able to come up with anything better, Udon sacrificed the “Underwater Breathing” spell he’d acquired at great expense the previous session. He cast it reversed so the target could ONLY breathe water, and added a 50/50 failure chance to the casting in order to bypass the creature’s saving throw. The spell struck home and had a…strange effect: a bubble-ooze, lighter than air, erupted out of the creature to pool on the ceiling. It babbled incoherently. Udon, able to speak ooze language, attempted to communicate with it, but it just seemed confused by the fact that it could understand Udon.

It fled, passing Gofar Mundo on the stairs on its way down, grasping at heavy items on the ground so it didn’t float away as it escaped the building.

The danger was past. The party was in a stopmotion animation studio, with a foul-mouthed stopmotion artist named Stone who was enthusiastically grateful to the party for rescuing her from that horrible creature. She owes you guys big time, and declared that her magnum opus would praise the party to high heaven.

The party moved on, and aside from overhearing some old guys complain about the rampage of some group called “The Red Bandana Gang,” the rest of the march was uneventful.

The party reached their targets apartment, found one “R.J. Dildopulon” on the building’s registry, then went to pester his neighbors for information. They encountered a svelt, attractive young man with glowing neon antlers growing from his head. He complained a bit about how annoying Dildopulon was as a neighbor. The party got some info about what Dildopulon looked like (Apparently he’d fallen asleep at a party once and woke up thinking he’d had a religious experience? Whatever that means). The party decided to stake out the lobby to wait for the guy to leave so they could break into the place when he was gone.

6 hours later, the dude finally left, and the party were able to slip in easily thanks to Gofar Mundo’s sleight of hand skills, which we’ve retroactively decided doubles as the lockpicking skill now.

The dude had bought up over half a dozen apartments, and knocked out a bunch of walls to turn the place into a big tacky looking suite filled with priapic art on pedestals. Udon found the piece he was looking for right away, and Gofar spotted another piece that was also clearly stolen from the Akiovashans. They were so caught up in their looting that nobody noticed when Dildopulon’s recently hired guard slipped in front of the door, and got his gun on them.

All attempts to silver-tongue their way out of the situation failed. Target and Gofar both complied and moved over to sit on the couch to wait for Dildopulon’s return. Udon refused, ducking in cover behind one of th room’s many dick pedestals, and after giving Udon a chance to comply, the guard responded by shooting Gofar Mundo in the chest. It would have dealt 13 damage if not for ricocheting off of (and destroying) her pauldrons. Target then leapt into action with his Turning ability, completely cowing the guard.

The party looted the place (including taking the guard’s gun, money, and his magic hat), and skeedadled. They turned over the two Akiovashan relics, as well as a ton of pictures of Dildopulon’s collection, to the Outsider authorities. The Akiovashan’s begrudgingly paid to have their relics returned.

The party returned home and enjoyed a haven turn. Thus ended June 2527

======
Skill Points
Target failed climb check: +1
Street Smarts to notice the guy: +1

======
Loot
Vial of Concentrated Mutagen (Roll 3d6, drop lowest, on Mutation Table)
Udon collects the finger-creature’s ‘Flesh Suit’.
Beretta Handgun (Gophar Mundo took it)
The Akiovashan Dildo – 7000cc
The Ivory Dildo, also Akiovashan make – 2000cc
1500cc taken from the Guard
Cowboy hat of gliding. Allows wearer to glide. (Target took it)

Target: Takes out a loan of 2500cc

10500/3 = 3500cc each for Gophar, Target, and Udon

======

Injuries

Udon: Loses 2hp from his max hp from the alien attack.
Gofar Mundo: Loses her beloved Chicken from the alien attack.
Target: Cool scar and Boon #3 from the alien attack. He now has 9 storage slots instead of 8.
Target: Lost his lucky charm from falling.

======
Next Session

Due to Ashgar’s specific plundering of the Redstone Lords graveyards, (+having a Redstone Lord propogandist on staff) the party is in a position to take a Propoganda action against the Redstone Lords with a significant bonus next session. (+6 from Ashgar, the Propogandist, and the TV network put together).

For real remember hirelings.

Session 6: Memorial Bejeweled Jacob’s Ladder | September 2527

Played on June 29, 2022

======
Dramatis Personae
Idara Māpès (Ava)
Car, wrasslin’ religion fighter.
Udon (Chris)
Gel, springhaired specialist. (40cc per mission)

======
Domain Turn Recap

Consequences

Stone, the stop motion animator the party rescued, has produced a phenomenal little piece of propoganda for the party. It could be the +3 centerpiece of a Propoganda campaign whenever you choose to release it. (After the first time this occurs, remove it until everything else on the consequences table has occurred once.

World Event

The Guild of Plumbers uncover cheating in the pipe-luge races they just hosted. This is a surprisingly dome-wide scandal. If the party were inclined to Establish a regulatory Institution of any type, people are more open to that idea than normal right now. The starting clock would be reduced by (d4: 1, 1, 1, 2)

Progress Bars

Hell’s Tennants Attack Pattern Study <—> (Setbacks 0/0)
Results TBD.

Faction action

The Hell’s Tennants raided an Akiovashan worship service. It was horrifically successful. They carried off many dozens of people down to old hell to become transformed into psudodemons.

Team Gopher, having completed their generation bunker, slowly begin lockdown procedures. People are encouraged to get used to full-time life in the bunker in advance of it being sealed up. Outside excursions are discouraged. There’s an opportunity here to try and poach some of their engineering talent, who might be feeling trepidatious now that life in seclusion is starting to feel more real. (Temporary +2 to engineer recruiting.)

Player Actions

Udon got in touch with the leader of Team Gopher, and attempted to establish some protocol by which they’d be satisfied with keeping a small line of communication open. Just leadership-to-leadership, so they could pass important information back and forth. (Diplomacy roll: 6) Unfortunately, Team Gopher is too concerned with being discovered. If some major threat sweeps in to obliterate humanity, they don’t want to be discovered due to monitored communications.

Idara: Organized researchers to analyze and collate all available data on the Hell’s Tennants attacks. Hopefully some pattern will emerge, and perhaps information that will allow their point of origin to be effectively determined and attacked.

======
Adventure Turn Recap

Udon went looking to hire a companion to come adventuring with him, and met Gel (hard G): A level 1 Specialist whose head excretes a sort of gel that makes her hair so curly and firm that a plucked strand can function as a spring. She was hired on a provisional bases: 40cc per adventure, but she’s not going to do anything very dangerous, and is liable to take better offers if they come along.

The party ventured out to see if they could find anything left un-looted in the seclusium of the slain Melissa the Philaquamort. (See session 5). The walk was surprisingly peaceful, and mostly accompanied by the chatter of Gel and Car discussing what it’s like to be the party’s hirelings. They’ve got good friend chemistry, but there’s no flirtation or romance at play. Car has an ascetic mean.

The Philaquamort’s seclusium was once a shortish building, perhaps 5 stories, but collapsed long ago, leaving a heap of rubble and only the ground floor left standing, supported by braces. The party saw some young adults smoking by the front entrance, so wandered around back to an ancient loading bay. There they found a number of paintings all of a similar style, but clearly by different artists. The pait was still wet.

Udon climbed up to the pile of rubble that served as the roof. He saw a whispy black mist rising out of the building, felt a shudder as something large moved through the space beneath him, but otherwise discovered nothing of interest. The party did manage to find a hole into the dungeon, but it only led into the entry hall.

Once inside, the party discovered that the dungeon was filled with a dense mist. It didn’t sting the eyes, and was easy enough to breathe, but it severely restricted their vision to only about 10 feet of distance. The wood paneled walls also appear to be unusually clean. In general the interior of this dungeon is neat and tidy.

A group of people live here. They appear somewhat soft spoken, but they’re odd. The party bypassed a group of them sitting in a circle and speaking in a strange technobabble that no one present could understand.

A little ways into the dungeon, the party found a shark-man-demon statue made from welded scrap metal. In its mouth was a trigger, which caused a hidden panel to open. Within was 900cc of cash, and a sticky note which read “Don’t forget to find someone to feed the eyeball!!!”

Downstairs the floor was a bit messier, and there were bespoke morgue drawers built into the walls. Five of them, at least one of which contained an inert, stripped, treasureless corpse. At the end of the row was a well filled with water. Gel used her fishing line and hook to do a bit of fishing in the well with a little slice of sausage, and pulled up an animate zombie! It failed to get the drop on the party, and got smooshed to pieces by their powerful attacks.

======
Skill Points
Udon: +2 skill points (Failed trying to investigate the collapsed architecture. Failed trying to recognize the technobabble of the dungeon inhabitents)

======
Loot
900cc
Weinergems (800cc)

That’s 1700cc (850 each for Idara and Udon)

Domain Loot
A phenomenal piece of propoganda in the form of a stop motion animation cartoon. Whenenver the party chooses to release it, it will add +3 to a propoganda roll.

======
Injuries
None

======
Next Session

The party is currently exploring the first room of level 2 of the dungeon!
Don’t forget the mist!
Don’t forget Gel!

Session 7: Rare Memes | October 2527

Played on July 13, 2022

======
Dramatis Personae
(Including Hirelings)

Idara Māpès (Ava)
Car, wrasslin’ religion fighter.
Udon (Chris)
Gel, springhaired specialist. (40cc per mission)

======
Domain Turn Recap

Consequences

The rolled consequence had no opportunity to occur during this session, and so will remain on the table.

World Event

A great beast (Note for Nick: #4) raged through a on the Eastern edge of the Electric Gorilla Association’s territory, devouring dozens and slaughtering many more senselessly. If the party doesn’t do something about this they must roll on the bad reputation table.

Conflicting reports describe the beast as: Red, Many Legs, Covered in Eyes, Breathes Cuts, left sheets of white, transluscent dead scales behind.

Progress Bars

Develop Space-Drops <****-X> (Setbacks 2/3)

SETBACK OCCURS! One of the engineers working on the project has profound ethical concerns about the dangerous technology they’ve just developed. They’ve encrypted a vital piece of project data. Nobody knows which member of the team it was. The party can try to figure out who did it, and get them to unlock the encrypted project data using whatever method is acceptable to them. Alternatively, the code could be cracked by finding and employing a hacker? After this setback is resolved, the party has access to the Rod Drop, but not the Safe Drop.

Ava’s Coordination of Hell’s Tennants Data <*–>

Faction action

Redstone Lords: Construction begins on experimental farms outside the Dome.

Hell’s Tennants: Raise a Hellcastle onto the surface, a quarter mile off the southern edge of the Dome.

ALSO: Anonymous information comes to the party’s attention, identifying a number of spies in their ranks placed there by the Overunder Duke. The information is both credible and accurate.

Player Actions

Idara: Sent Waerods to pursue the great beast that attacked in the east. They weren’t able to find it, but it the show of force did prevent an immediate bad reputation roll. Idara garrisoned some Waerods in the East, in a position to respond quickly to attacks there. She also made arrangements with the Flexy Ratheaded Fellows who live in the sewers to the East of the party’s territory for them to communicate with the fast response Waerods, serving as an early detection network for future beast attacks, or potentially for Hell’s Tennants raids.

Udon: Unveiled his masterstroke: his casting method is cat’s cradle. And now, with all the dome’s children playing Cat’s Cradle using string from the same ball he uses for his own spellcasting, he is able to cast massively empowered spells. He cast “Knock” on the password used to encrypt the Space Drop project. He did this in front of the whole team, and was able to determine who it was who encrypted the data. The cryptographer was let go from the party’s employ.

======
Adventure Turn Recap

The party continued to explore Melissa the Philaquamort’s looted seclusium, filled with dense mist. They discovered several rooms that had been thoroughly looted and ransacked, one of which clearly had a complex machine in it at one time that had been smashed to bits. As the party was examining this they heard an ominous gurgling belch from a room behind them. They moved on, hopefully avoiding becoming that creature’s next meal.

In the next room, filled with papers, the party discovered a working Windows 98 computer, on which they discovered information about some pre-apocalypse laser cannon installations that were built on the moons of Mars. Melissa had documents about both of them being test-fired, but also knew that they were not yet fully operational when the apocalypse happened. The projects were never completed, and who knows how intact they are? A sticky note Idara found suggests Melissa wanted to “shoot moon lasers at people?”

The computer also contained a few very funny demotivational poster memes, which Udon bartered to a meme posting page for 1100cc.

Before the party could move forward, they were ambushed by a giant eyeball that rolled into their midst and attempted to suck memories out of their heads. Udon, Idara, and Car all were wearing helmets they sacrificed in order to protect themselevse, but Gel had no adequate protection. The eyeball sucked out her memories of her first day of school, what she had for breakfast this morning, and the ending to her favorite movie, dealing 6 damage and reducing her to 0. All her rolls are made at disadvantage the rest of the session. Fortunately, the party then won initiative, and Idara annihilated the eyeball with three powerful combat actions.

Gel was disheartened, but Car offered her some genuinely comforting bits of religious lore, and she rolled well on her morale check. None the less, she will die if she takes any damage before she’s healed.

Udon harvested 3 Alchemical essences from the eyeball. He chose not to make a healing/memory restoration potion for Gel, but instead tried to make a potion that would grant him the memories of one of the eye’s previous victims. His crafting attempt failed.

In the following room the party encountered a corpse sliced in half down the middle by a water jet trap, which they were able to disable. The following two rooms (with stairs down to level 3 between them) were both covered in soot and char, as if a raging fire burned in both rooms.

Just as the session neared its end, the party came to a room with a statue of a mermaid, and attempted to pull at its tail, which just so happened to be exactly how to activate the secret door, which led to a small armory. In addition to weapons and armor (new helmets to replace those destroyed by the eye!) Udon claimed a magic sword for himself while Idara had nodded off.

======
Skill Points

Udon receives 1 skill point for failing an Alchemistry check.

======
Loot

2 Rubber Bands
1 bit of string
The spoon-half of a splittable swiss army knife

Files detailing a pre-apocalypse project to build laser facilities on Mars’ two moons, intended to destroy stray meteors.
Magic sword hammered out of a stop sign. Can do damage normally, OR can force the target to make a saving throw or be time stopped for 1d3 rounds.
The hireling’s inventories are full of basic weapons and armor, which can be converted to some money if removed from the dungeon.
2 Alchemical Essences from a Thought-Stealer Eye

1100cc for rare memes.
17cc from a boot

That’s 559cc for both Idara and Udon

======

Injuries

Gel is at 0hp, and has lost the memory of what she had for breakfast this morning, her first day of school, and the ending of her favorite movie (Kill Bill vol2)

======
Next Session

Gel is at 0hp
Gel & Car both have completely full inventories of mundane weapons and armor.
Don’t forget the mist!
Party starts in armory on level 3 of dungeon!

Session 8: The Party Never Does What Schlippy Wants | November 2527

Played on July 27, 2022

======
Dramatis Personae

Udon (Chris)
Gel, springhaired specialist. (40cc per mission)
Target “the Chef” Dugan (Elias)
Tommy Crystals (PresGas)
Schlorp Snail Person (Capable & Prepared Loyal Hireling)
Schlippy (7 y/o Snail Sibling)

======
Domain Turn Recap

World Event

Extra Faction Action this session: Lords of Light!

Progress Bars

Develop Space-Drops (Setbacks 2/3)
Ava’s Coordination of Hell’s Tennants Data (Setbacks 0/0)

Faction action

Akiovashans: Pamphlets are distributed to the Akiovashan faithful, who are set the task of scouring the Dome for a certain room. The pamphlette is very general and mostly pictoral. Literacy isn’t widespread yet. For those in-the-know, they’re clearly looking for the Dome’s environmental systems rooms. The party controls several of these. Handing one over immediately would be a massively beneficial diplomatic move.

Lords of Light: The Lords of Light repell an unprovoked attack that came up from the sewers by troops of the Overunder Duchy. The Overunder Duke denies having anything to do with it, but the LoL have plenty of corpses to prove it. They make a public show of needing to recruit more soldiers to keep themselves safe from aggression that their Electric Gorilla Association & Outsider allies cannot protect them from.

Redstone Lords: A large number former military men of the Redstone Lords request safe passage through the party’s territory. They’re travelling to the Lords of Light territory to “learn the LoL’s advanced farming techniques, so they can use their strength to feed their people.” Refusing outright would be a very bad PR move.

Player Actions

Response to the Redstone Lord’s request: The Electric Gorilla Association allows the group to travel through their territory, so long as they move two-by-two in a long train, rather than in a denser group. The Redstone Lords try to make hay of this on their TV network “Superior Viewing,” but it’s not a juicy enough condition for anyone to really care.

Udon: Rather than take any faction leading action, Udon spent 2 alchemical essences to brew a potion at random. (Listed among loot)

Target: Successfully recruited an old internet spy-captain named Splitter, who recruited 12 mooks and is training them to do basic spy work.

Robert: Attempted to bait the Akiovashans into revealing the purpose for the search they just initiated by using his Social Media savvy to post something so wrong that people in-the-know would feel compelled to correct him. The attempt failed.

======
Ruling

Two generic alchemical essences can be used to craft a random potion.

======
Adventure Turn Recap

After loading themselves down with as many pieces of Armor as they could carry, the party moved on. In the next room they found an empty coffin lined with comfortable padding, with a strange device on the inside of the lid. It had needles on it, and swirling concoctions. Tommy Crystals, ever enthused about trying new drugs, climbed into the coffin and had the party shut the lid on him. Melissa the Philaquamort’s unused recussitation device then gave him an electric jolt which delt 6 damage, and injected a lifetime of her memories into him. It was all entirely too much for his mind to handle, and the only thing he managed to retain from the experience with a deep knowledge and appreciation for scrap metal art.

Schlorp fussed over Tommy, and Gel tried to use this to point out to Udon how loyal a well-paid hirling can be. Later, after talking to Schlorp and learning that he actually wasn’t paid at all and just considered Tommy to be his best friend, Gel took a dislike to him.

The party found another scrap metal statue, this one depicting Melissa herself as a smirking trickster. Her teeth were a switch. They inspected the statue for anything that might spring out to attack them, and upon finding nothing, pressed the switch. Immediately the room’s three exits locked, and the pipes around its edge began pumping the room full of water. The party spent two turns searching for a way to escape the room. Tommy used his art appreciation skill to notice a recurring motief of the number 5 of Melissa’s statue. Before this knowledge could be put to use, Target’s angellic companion found the deactivation switch on the outside of the door, and freed the party.

After moving to the East, the party heard some shuffling in the mist, and chose not to acknowledge it. They went down a very long hallway, down three flights of stairs, and came to a small star shaped room with a well. They then hid themselves in the points of the star. Target trapped the final staircase with his mousetraps, then positioned himself behind the well to wait. When the mousetraps were set off, he called into the mist for the party’s clumsy pursuers to reveal themselves.

From the mist emerged some waterlogged corpses, shuffling around and complaining that they were very very very hungry for brains, and that no one had come down to feed them for so long! Target managed to talk tem around in circles for a bit. He discovered that there were 16 of them back there in the mist. They didn’t seem to place a very high value on their own existences, only on getting brains into their gullets. None the less, Target convinced them to retreat back up the hall with promises that the party would provide them with all the brains they could eat.

The group doesn’t seem liable to hold to the deal for very long.

The party quickly examined the well. There were signs that a struggle had taken place here. Lowering a phone into the well revealed a small living space down there, complete with an open coffin, but no sign of whatever creature must have caused the scratches and bloodstains in the room.

Udon has a plan, but it requires rope which nobody in the party at the moment has.

The session ended in media res.

======
Skill Points
Tommy Crystals: +1 skill point for failing to shitpost
Udon: Gains +1 skill point from failing to hear skeletons

Tommy gained the skill “Scrap Metal Art Appreciation” at d12.

======
Loot
Udon brewed a Bottle Imp. Answers one question truthfully. Knows everything that Hell knows (which is damn near everything). If you eat it, or if it crawls down the throat of an intact corpse, it can possess that body for 30 minutes. Dies quickly upon contact with air. Can only answer questions that start with “what”.

======
Injuries

Tommy Crystals: at 0 from electric shock.
Permanently lost his sense of smell.

======
Next Session

The party will start at the well, and hopefully one of the players present will have a rope!

Session 9: Mysterious Stranger, But They’re a Divine Cow Creature | December 2527

Played on August 10, 2022

======
Dramatis Personae

Udon (Chris)
Gel, springhaired specialist. (40cc per mission)
Target “the Chef” Dugan (Elias)
The Congolese Charging Devil (CC For Short)

======
Domain Turn Recap

Consequences

The consequences rolled for this session did not have an opportunity to occur.

World Event

Extra Faction Action rolled during this turn!

Progress Bars

Develop Space-Drops (Setbacks 3/3) COMPLETE!

Setback 3: Someone stole a test drop before they could retrieve the data. You can go out on the surface of mars to get the test drop object yourself, you can send an agent to go get it, or you can inject 1000cc of cash to fund an extra drop test. (RESOLVED!)

-Completed Tool: The party is able to orbit-drop objects from their space station onto roughly 25% of the surface of mars (centered around the Dome, which the station is in geostationary orbit above.) Each drop requires individual calculations due to atmospheric complications. Each drop also requires resources that will be destroyed during the drop, and thus must be re-purchased for each one. When the drop occurs roll a d6: (1-3 Exactly on the desired location, 4-5: 1 mile from the desired location in a random direction, 6: 5 miles from the desired location)
—Rod Drop: Highly effective at destroying structures or busting bunkers. Effective enough that it could unite a lot of people against whoever used it. Each drop costs 1000cc, and would completely obliterate basically whatever it lands on, barring exceptional countermeasures. Calculations take d6 – 1 hours.
—Safe Drop: If you want the thing you drop to still exist once it lands on the surface, it’s significantly more complicated. Each drop costs 600cc + 10cc per pound of dropped material. Calculations take d6 – 1 days.
—(Drops outside this 25% range are allowed, but targeting is much less precise until the party has eyes on that side of the planet. Add 10% to the cost of the drop. Calculation time is rolled with disadvantage. Accuracy roll a d10: 1: Exactly on desired location, 2-3 1 mile away, 4-5: 5 miles away, 6+: d10*10 miles away)
—Additionally: The party has an orbital map covering 25% of the martian surface.

Ava’s Coordination of Hell’s Tennants Data COMPLETE!

-Completed Tool: By gathering maps of known explored tunnels beneath the surface, and indexing all the surface raids the Hell’s Tenants have made, Idara’s researchers are able to identify 5 probable locations for staging areas for these raids. Not exactly where they are, but a strong sense of the general area. Enough that a Waerod or an Agent could be sent in their with the benefit of surprise. (+2 to determine mission success).

Faction action

Faction Turn 1, Team Gopher: 1d3 of the party’s experts defect to join Team Gopher in their bunker. Team Gopher apologizes, but they’re not going to turn good people away if they want to live there. The party rolls a 3, defections are randomly determined:

-Tandy & Team of Engineers
-Nrrk the Propogandist
-Splitter the Spymaster

(Note that this leaves the party without any team capable of R&D)

Faction Turn 2, Akiovashans: One of the Outsider-owned environmental control systems rooms has been found! The Akiovashans move to claim it, and establish it quickly as the center of their religion. By claiming it they now have access to maps identifying the locations of all the others, and apply canny social pressures demanding the remaining 14 be turned over to them. “These chambers are rightfully ours, sacred to our faith!” (Will you forcibly evict them?)

Faction Turn 3, Hell’s Tenants: A group approach the Dome from their Southern hellcastle, and put up a big sign on the outside of the dome, visible to those within. Anyone who willingly travels to their hellcastle to voluntarily have the Oil of Human Suffering extracted from them will earn a number of signets based on the quality of their suffering. Anyone posessing a signet will not be taken during any future raids the Hell’s Tenants perform.

Player Actions

Udon sent The Hangman after the missing Space Drop data. The task took her about two weeks, but she returned with the missing item, as well as with the individual who stole it. A scrawny little wizardling who has been pressganged into the party’s service in recompense for wasting The Hangman’s time.

Target arranged a meeting with The Outsiders, and Bobbert, Former High Priest of Akiovasha. He appeared unhinged, and urged the party and outsiders to turn the Environmental Control Stations Over, insisting it would be the most peaceful option. The party was able to learn that many ranking and devoted Akiovashans simply woke up one morning with the driving need to find and control these spaces so they could make the dome warmer and more humid, because Akiovasha has been cast out of the Celestial Temple, and is coming here to reside among her followers!

======
Adventure Turn Recap

Since no one has any rope, Target weighed himself down with all the armor the party had collected, and Udon whacked him with his time stop sword, then dumped him into the well. Target sank for 2 rounds before the time stop wore off. Able to hold his breath for 10 rounds before any checks need be made, he moved briskly to examine the environment: the coffin was padded with pleather cushions full of waterproof stuffing. One wall had about 25 nooks bored into it, slanted to prevent water currents or bouyancy to allow objects to drift out of them. In one Target found a nice comb and some fatty hair gel, in another he found a box of salt and a cache of 600cc. At this point he surfaced, and the party decided it wasn’t worth exploring any further. Especially not with a group of brain-hungry undead nearby. (They also managed to recover the armor with a rigging of string)

From here the party zipped out of the dungeon with all speed. Whilst passing the undead in the mist they overheard a clear argument about whether they ought to eat the party, or await the party’s promise to deliver larger quantities of brains. The pro-eat-the-party party was clearly in the ascent, and only a few rooms later the players were rushed from behind by 6 of these who had broken off from their fellows. They dealt nearly fatal damage to Target in the opening round. Then, out from the mist, an aggressive Eland with sparkling horns leapt to his defense, killing one of the zombies. A manifestation of divine favor, surely! Target then Turned the remaining zombies, rolling double the hit dice of the entire enemy force! He opted to cause all but one of them to explode, and commanded that last one to return to the other zombies and warn them not to give chase.

The rest of the party’s flight from the dungeon was swift and uneventful. They found a nice place to eat and to rest. Udon washed dishes to pay for a room while Target rested and restored 1hp.

During their travels back home, the party came upon a hanging prison in which Stone the stop motion animator was being held! Apparently she’d offended some local sensibilities with one of her films. Udon cast Knock to open her cell door, and Target tossed her the Cowboy Hat of Gliding to enable her to get down safely. She scurried away, promising the party more stop motion propoganda to aid them!

Also while travelling, Gel attempted to bond with Target’s new Eland companion. It bit her.

Haven Turn Recap

Udon: Harvested 2 Alchemical Essences from the Dactyl Skin gathered earlier. Crafted 1 random potion (Listed among loot)

Target: Spend time bonding with his new companion. Dubbed him “The Congalese Charging Devil” (CC for short).

======
Skill Points

None

======
Loot

Comb
Fatty Hairgel
Salt
600 cc
10 pieces of armor sold: 200cc

That’s 400cc each for Target and Udon

Potion: Elemental acid. Will melt through anything except glass and adamantine, and will eventually melt a hole all the way down to Hell. If poured on a stone floor, hole is 1′ wide and narrows as it goes down. Lethal (and messily so) if drank.

New Expert: Denikaw the scrawny wizardling. Able to conduct rituals and perform magic research for the party. Her specialty is Bestow Curse.

======
Injuries

Target: Bite mark scar on his forehead + Loyal Animal Companion.

======
Next Session

A new adventure!
Remember: if Udon wants Gel to accompany them, he must pay her again.