Dangerous Neighbors – Bad Myrmidon

Session 19: “Why am I paying my taxes when these demons keep taking my babies!?”

The party decided to return through the first portal Fon had opened, where they discovered a miniature keep underway. They learned that at first some farms had been attempted, but that they were attacked by raiding parties of violent women. The surviving farmers retreated until a fortification could be made. Wob helped with the construction by animating some stones (none of which escaped this time), and Ecco made friends by being generous with booze. Glint hired a torchbearer named Bulgurd, who is very picky about how their name is pronounced.

The party loaded a wagon with gifts for the Amazons: tons of booze, cheese, crackers, sausages, pickles, and headed North into the mountains.

On this leg of the journey the party encountered some Devil Monkeys, and Wob gave them the gift of fire in the hopes that they would come to view him as a deity.

The party also encountered a group of blue demon women torturing some peasants they’d taken from a city to the East. The party did some excellent planning and totally trivialized the encounter with a skillful application of magic. The ambush was perfect. The peasant ladies were helped, and even seemed perhaps willing to act as hirelings at least until they could get home.

The party determined that they should look for the lair of the blue demon ladies nearby.

Session 20: “Bluepie”

The party has been using a kite with Ecco’s eyes on it to keep watch. They use it now to scout around until they discover a nearby cave high on a cliff with flower petals painted decoratively around it. They climb up to the ridge above, and lower themselves down to the cave by a rope.

Within the party met a child blue torture demon, with little flightless wings. The party manages to adopt her by convincing her that they tortured her parent’s true murderers to death. Ecco takes her into his care. The two women who were tortured by this little creature’s parents are horrified by the party’s actions, and set off on their own to return home.

Further along the road the party meets up with five amazons, who regard Adelaide as the obvious leader, and the rest of the group as her slaves. They are about to be violent when the party reveals that the cart is an offering to them (which is true). The Amazons offer to escort the cart to the temple, which they mysteriously say “Must have been cleared out by now.”

After a few horus of travel the wagon breaks down. The party hides it, and make plans to get a new wagon from the temple and bring it out here to transfer the load.

HIRELING INVENTORY:
Hibub Karate, Orc Warrior, Glint
Bulgurd, Human Torchbearer, Glint
Ornoc the Waif, Sadistic Bowchild, Adelaid
Bluepie, demon child, Ecco

Session 21: “Temple of the Incels”

Confident that their conquest was complete, the Amazon’s entered through the front door, not ready for the fire trap which instantly killed 4 of them, and left the last–Xanthipe–weak enough that she was easily tied and bound by the party.

The party more cautiously examined the three entrances to the Temple of Achilles. The fire room in the main entrance was discharged, but the next room had some strange sound amplification magic going on, so they decided to retreat. The next entrance had a false door, which the party recognized and disassembled.

The final entrance had a bleeding guard lying near it, his junk removed quite violently. Ecco got him all sewed up, but intentionally did not leave him any hole to pee from. He spent the whole time reciting nonsense incel philosophy. Once he was sufficiently cowed by the party, they managed to get him to get him to open the secret door…revealing a large mechanical creature standing with its back to the party!

Session 22: “I retroactively named him Dichales”

The party defeated the metal golem with a swiftly animated Ooze which climbed down into its ventilation pipes and tried to take control of it, but succeded only in killing it. They proceded into the dungeon where they befriended an injured lion, and met Hipolyta, an undead Amazon who seemed as interested in killing her own former subjects as in killing Myrmidons. She killed the party’s dickless myrmidon guide, but allowed them to pass unharmed when the party confirmed that they were only here to loot and kill.

Further in the party encountered a tiny sort of black hole, which Wob managed to animate and send out into space. This opened up a passageway that would have otherwise been impassable, as demonstrated by the woman who was dying in slow motion when they got there.

Session 23: “The sorta loot that ruins a campaign.”

The party rescued a myrmidon priestess (Stacy to the temple’s Chad.) They made friends, but she very quickly got herself killed when she insisted on trying to Turn Undead against one of Hippolyta’s undead sisters, who was in the midst of destroying a Myrmidon Steel Golem before turning her wrath on the groups of Amazons and Myrmidons exhausted from battling each other.

The party passed all this nonsense by, collected 20 platinum coins in one room, and 532 silver & 2 pots of acid in another. Then they returned to the battle room, where the undead Amazon was just about to kill the last of the Myrmidons. They stabbed her in the back and continued on into the Temple’s hall of relics, where they looted:

-Girdle of Hippolyta, +3 to Strength. -Harpe, a +2 sword. +3 against magical monsters. -Sickle of Cronus, D8 damage, +1 to hit/dmg, Double Damage to magic users, clerics, and monsters that use magic. -Apollo’s Bow, Longbow +1, when hit save v. spells or become diseased. -Hide of the Nemean Lion, fur coat that provides AC 5 even to Magic Users. There was also 1761 gold, 3542 silver, and 459 platinum.

Converting all to gold, and including the money found earlier, the party totaled 6906g, or (divided among Addy, Glint, Ecco, and Wob) 1727 Gold / XP each!

Session 24: “500lb Crow”

The party went to explore the last bit of the dungeon they hadn’t yet mapped, where they found the leader of the Amazons pounding on a door, behind which the leader of the Myrmidons hid. They convinced the two to have it out in a proper duel, and the Amazon won. Using the forge in the room to melt her foe’s skull.

The party chatted with the Queen for awhile, who seemed significantly more chill upon learning she was basically the last survivor–Amazon or Myrmidon. It was good that the hated Myrmidons had been wiped out. She’d been planning to leave a colony behind, but with the intervention of the hateful old undead Amazonians, that plan was no longer viable. She decided to travel to the nearby city to hire some lady sailors to help her get back to her own island, and probably then keep them to help replenish her people’s population.

The party decided to return to the portal. On the way they were accosted by a giant crow creature, which the party killed, cooked, and collected cool crow parts from for use in making fashionable clothing.

Bluepie, in a show of actually not hating the party too much, warned them about a pit trap they were about to fall into.

The party managed to reach home without any further incident.