d100 Wondrous Items

Etching of a table cluttered with curiosities. A skull, a flower, scattered papers and open books, etc.

(Before we begin: Bones of Contention is a new TTRPG review site, for which I am a contributing member. Please give it a look!)

“Wondrous Items” is the category where D&D puts all the good magic items. At their best they demand creativity from the players who possess them in a way that a Flaming Sword or Ring of Protection never could. Wondrous Items didn’t make the leap to video games the way so many of D&D’s other trappings did, because Wondrous Items require a tactically infinite environment in order to thrive.

Here I have endeavored to present the greatest diversity of physical objects I could, marrying each to a magic power intended to push players to engage with the game in new ways.

The treasure chest contains a…

Knife which will expertly season any food prepared with it. Even a novice cook could significantly elevate the quality of their ingredients. The knife loses its enchantment permanently if it is ever used for violence.
Saddle which will resize itself to fit any natural beast it’s placed on. Once the saddle is strapped in place that creature will behave as a well-trained mount for one day. After this the saddle falls off not matter how well secured. Some animals may resent having been ridden, and turn claws and fang upon their fallen rider.
Book which records every conversation of the person who owns it. It does this no matter how far away its owner is. If a new person takes possession of the book (without having it explicitly lent to them by the owner), all its pages become blank
Dry log which burns, but is never consumed by fire. Its owner never needs to gather another piece of firewood again. This log was probably cut from some very special tree, and probably has some much more amazing properties to it, but this is the only remarkable thing anyone has ever discovered about it.
Battle standard which appears friendly to anyone who would recognize a battle standard. One could ride through two warring armies, and both forces would perceive them to be allies. If a person has no knowledge of flags or battle standards, it displays a gray-and-white checkered pattern.
Set of magically silenced woodworking tools in a nice box. Hand drills of various sizes, files, saws, planes, a mallet, none of which will ever make a sound when in use.
Winnowing basket which will sift objects according to any rules described to it. An excellent tool for finding needles in haystacks. For example, it might be told to sift a load of treasure for items worth more than 100 gp, after which any item worth less than that will fall right through the basket’s bottom regardless of its size. The imp bound to the basket cannot read, and refuses to learn, so any attempt to use scrabble tiles to turn the basket into a tedious oracle will not work.
Mirror of capricious deceptions. It will never reflect reality properly, though most of the time the differences it displays are slight enough that one must study the image carefully to determine what’s wrong. Perhaps a ring is shown on the wrong finger, or cheeks are displayed more flush than they are. This isn’t always the case. When one least expects it the mirror will show a demon looming behind them, or spiders crawling out of the viewer’s nose. If someone spends a good Turn or two polishing the mirror to make it look its best, they may whisper a request to it and it will reflect one lie of their choosing.
Pipe which, when lit and puffed on, produces great clouds of cloying, sight-obscuring smoke. If the pipe is loaded with any substance that carries a particular effect (hallucinogenics, poisons, narcotics, etc.) the cloud will also carry those effects, which must be Saved against by anyone in the vicinity. Note that the smoker is not immune, and must save along with everyone else.
Tripod which folds down to fill the smallest unit of encumbrance the game uses. When fully opened up it’s large and strong enough to support the weight of a standard adventuring party.
Bell of attention. For one moment after the bell is rung all eyes and ears will be focused on the ringer. It is up to them to be interesting enough to hold people’s attention after that first moment. If anyone hears the bell a second time within a single day, they will perceive that the ringer is attempting to control their minds with magic. People do not generally appreciate this, and will almost certainly turn violent towards the bell-bearer.
Directional magnet, of the U-shaped variety. The magnetic field it projects is tightly focused on a single point, and is powerful enough to attract any metal object its pointed towards with 2 horsepower.
Music box which suppresses all sound except the plink-plink-plink of its own music. A full wind lasts 3 minutes, after which it takes a few moments to wind up again. The silencing effect is exactly proportional to how well the music can be heard. Those near the box will hear absolutely nothing but the music, while those far enough away to hear the music only faintly will also experience all other sounds being slightly suppressed.
Tent which rolls up as small as a pup tent. However, when properly put up, the tent is spacious enough to stand in, with several semi-private rooms. Additionally, there is an extra flap at the back of the tent which leads to an extra-dimensional reference library. This library is used by a variety of magicians across the planes, and tended by a dangerous librarian. No object may be taken from the library, but anyone willing to spend time there ought to be able to find the knowledge they’re seeking.
Sponge capable of absorbing an abnormal amount of liquid. If thrown into a body of water it could soak up a good-sized lake. It never grows any larger or heavier no matter how much liquid it holds. A single squeeze will always release the whole volume at once.
Wand which allows the wielder to ‘save’ up to ten outfits. They simply must dress themselves a certain way, then wave the wand over themselves from head to foot to store that outfit in extra-dimensional space. By thinking of the outfit and waving the wand over themselves again—from foot to head this time—the clothes will be returned to their body. There is nothing to prevent the wand from being used to store worn treasures, though it must be noted that one cannot switch partially between outfits.
Scabbard which shapes itself to any weapon one wishes to put in it. When the wearer calls for their weapon, the scabbard will oblige by propelling the weapon out of itself. This is best used to instantaneously bring a weapon to hand, even if one is mid-grapple. One may also attempt to launch a weapon directly from the scabbard and towards an enemy, but this form of surprise attack is clumsy, and only rarely strikes successfully.
Ball about the size and density of an apple. It is perfectly accurate within the range of the thrower’s strength, hitting whatever they were aiming at no matter how small or mobile. The ball is unlikely to do any serious harm if used as a weapon.
Net with eight weights around its edge. Each weight has a button which causes it to stay exactly where it was when the button was pressed—even if that means levitating in mid-air. The magic which holds the weights is released if jostled. The net can thus be used to quickly set a simple snare in almost any environment.
Board game with a subtle magic. Everyone who sits down to play it will have a comfortable understanding of the rules, without ever needing to learn them. The play of the game is as simple or as deep as is appropriate to the temperament of the players; and as short or as lengthy as the time they have available to play. Any creature who can be convinced to play will have a nice time, and will remember the party pleasantly.
Key of Imaginary Transportation. When used to mime starting a car, the key enables the holder to also mime sitting down in a car, and driving at car-speeds. The magic lasts for as long as they continue to mime. It will instantly cease to work if they break character by speaking or taking action not possible with a car, or if they ram their imaginary car into something solid / try to take it where it could not reasonably go. If moving at speed, the sudden faltering of this magic can prove exceptionally dangerous. The imaginary car can carry a party’s worth of passengers and luggage.
Wood barrel which will find its way back to its owner (with all its contents) one week after being cast away. It must be truly cast away in order for the magic to work: thrown into an ocean or river, given to a stranger as they leave town for parts unknown, etc. So long as the owner cannot reasonably retrieve the barrel themselves, the barrel’s magic will work, and it will return.
Polished bronze torque which allows the wearer to lengthen or shorten their neck at will. Elongated necks are difficult to move with, but can coil like a snake, and even be climbed by allies. If the wearer is attacked, each additional foot of length their neck current has results in a 5% chance that a successful hit deals 5x its normal damage. (So for 1 extra foot, an attack roll of 20 deals 5x damage. For 2 extra feet it’s 19-20, for 3 extra feet 18-20, etc.)
Mummified cat’s paw. When placed on an object, the paw causes that object (and itself) to immediately become buried ten feet under ground. The buried items can only be retrieved by digging, which may take more or less effort depending on the material they were buried in.
Candle which will undo any harm that is done within the range of its light. The harm simply reverses itself when the candle naturally burns itself out as a stub. Note that the candle must be fully used up before its magic can take effect. If a person is killed in the candle’s light, but then the candle is snuffed out and not used up until 100 years later, then it will be 100 years before that person is revived. Candle burns for 4 hours.
Fish hook that works its magic when slipped into someone’s clothes. An ethereal tether extends between the hook and the person who placed it, so that they always know which direction to go to find the target. If pulled on, the tether will drag the hooked person with magic force along the most expedient path to the one who placed the hook. The magic is undone if the hook is discovered, or if the hooked person changes clothes.

Two etchings of a hand holding a peculiar writing tool. They demonstrate that it ought to be held with its base resting in the palm, and its point guided by the index finger.

Manacles of escaping. If a person goes to sleep while wearing them, they will awaken in a completely different situation. It will be some generally bad situation, such as rower on a slave galley, or prisoner in a foreign dungeon—but perhaps it is a better situation than the one which prompted the person to wear the manacles in the first place.
Feather duster with a wooden handle that has been carved into the figure of a gossipy maid. When the duster is used to brush a layer of dust, the wooden gossip will come to life and tell the whole history of the room since that dust settled here. They know exactly how long it has been since someone passed through, what sort of creature they were, what they did, etc.
Shears which imbue any hair they cut with magic properties. The person who holds a lock of hair cut by these shears is suffused with a subtle aura that makes it completely believable that they are best buds with the person whose hair they hold. Cut the hair of a king? Everyone you meet will believe you’re the king’s friend. The effect lasts until the person who’s hair was cut denies the relationship, after which that lock will never work on anyone again.
Large vermilion folding fan. If a creature or object’s shadow falls upon the fan’s folds while it is opened, then the fan may be snapped closed to fold that creature or object away in extra-dimensional space. Whatever is stored in the fan will be released again the moment it is opened, believing that no time has passed. There are no limits to the size of objects stored, save that their entire shadow must fit on the folds of the fan.
Gloves capable of magically producing cord of any commonly available type and thickness between them. It may be ropes, chains, fishing line, twine, etc. The cord can be attached to the gloves, or released from them, but will never be any longer than the width to which the wearer can stretch their arms.
Metal stud for wearing in a pierced tongue. While worn, the wearer gains a sticky frog’s tongue with 5 feet of reach.
Steel bucket which is able to produce twenty times the amount of sand, water, gravel, or any other useless material it is filled with.
Gardening trowel. If used to dig a shallow trench, and that trench is filled with water, the little furrow will expand to become a full-sized moat.
Vase which “melts” any metal placed into it down to a liquid state. If one then whispers a shape into the vase and pours the metal out, it will “cool” and form itself into the shape desired. One can form the metal into coins, or statues, or bricks, or balls. The process is quick and does not involve any heat.
Quill and ink-pot that imbue any words they write with supernatural comprehensibility. They can be read and understood even people people who do not read the language they are written in, people who are entirely illiterate, and even by creatures who lack language entirely. Even a mindless zombie or an alien slug could understand what is written.
Lockpicking tools which work on people’s hearts. If someone skilled in legerdemain is able to sneak up on an unconscious person, or do their work on a restrained person, they can use these tools to “open” the person’s heart, and place some new love inside of it.
False mustache cut from the lip of a great warrior who was cast out of his tribe, and ritually deprived of this symbol of his manhood. When it tied by straps to be worn on a person’s face, the mustache grants the ability to tell absolutely superb war stories.
Farming scythe. If passed backwards over some dead thing, that thing will very briefly be brought back to life. It may be a few minutes, or an hour, but they will shortly return to death.
Crowbar which is a magical force multiplier, in addition to being a mundane one. If an average person uses it, it will be as though 10 burly strongmen are all helping them. Note that this functions only when the crowbar is used as a lever, not if it’s used as a cudgel.
Bright clear crystal which cleans any room it’s left in. Nothing will happen while one watches, but leaving it alone for only a few moments will eliminate dust and detritus, put items back in their proper place, brighten paint, etc.
Folded fortune teller made of browned and tattered papyrus. If placed in a dead person’s hands, the hands will move to open and close the fortune teller. Back and forth, accelerating rapidly, until a choice is made, and an inky rune is revealed, taking immediate effect (d8): 1-3: Speak With Dead, 4: An illusory scene appears, depicting this dead creature’s final moments of life, and how they came to be where they are. 5. Raise the dead as a powerful undead revenant which loathes the living. 6. Raise the dead as a simple creature under the command of the caster. 7. Animate the dead, and return the creature’s mind to it, for one day. Experience of the afterlife will have made them weird, and they will likely have their own unfinished business they want to attend to. 8. The body explodes, splattering those nearby with blood, and leaving nothing left for a magician to tamper with.
Straw whisk tied with simple cord. If waved vigorously in the air, the whisk will make a huge mess of any room. Anything that isn’t nailed down will be scattered pell mell.
Quizzing glass which allows its wielder to see through another’s eyes. They simply need orient the glass towards any creature with eyes, and it will display what that creature is seeing.
Complex and awkward vestment which must be actively held together by one hand in order to be worn, precluding the use of other weapons or tools. The garment takes a full Turn to don or doff, but while it is worn anything a person says is significantly more compelling. If one uses a 2d6 reaction roll, this vestment would enable the wearer to roll 2d8 instead.
Grappling hook which falls up. It’s prongs have a jagged zig-zag pattern, as stylized lightning bolts. If allowed to reach 100′ in height, a lightning bolt will flash from the sky to catch the hook, and carry it away. The hook—and anyone holding on to its rope—will be transported [d12 * 10] miles towards the destination of their choosing. The travel is instantaneous, but dangerous, as everyone going on the journey must make a saving throw or take 2d6 damage from the lightning bolt.
Wagon with a hatch door in its bed. Beyond the door are stairs which lead into an extra-dimensional cellar. Cool, dry, and with plenty of space for storage. There is a door in the cellar which is heavily barred on the other side.
Statue of a roaring leopard carved from tufa. It has a perfectly ordinary appearance, but has been enchanted so that if someone tells a lie while their hand is in the leopard’s mouth, it will snap closed hard enough to crush bone, and won’t release until they reveal the truth that they lied to protect.
Rustic hat with a wide shady brim. The shade cast by the hat is variable depending on how tight or loose the band around its rim is fitted. The wearer can vary the shadow to be simply personal, or up to 20′ in diameter. Anyone within this shade is immune to magical spying, and will appear to be a mere trick of the light to anyone observing from more than 60 feet away.
Clay jug filled with three corrupting ichors: Slurry of Instantaneous Decay, Ooze of Malignant Mutation, and Vinegar of Undousable Incineration. The three fluids occupy the same space within the jug, each filling it entirely, but never mixing with one another. One never knows which one will come out when the jug is tipped, and no other vessel can safely contain these three potent liquids. The jug contains one gallon of each.

Etching of a woman with a black cat sitting beside a table of men. The men are drinking, with swords, axes, and shields resting nearby. The woman leans forward as if to intimidate them, and some men appear cowed, while others are defiant.

Buff coat which makes anyone who wears it appear to be the most physically powerful person in the world. All bulging muscle and towering height. This strength is entirely illusory.
Prop sword which is obviously fake and not at all threatening. Anyone touched by the blade will perceive that they’ve been stabbed by a real weapon, and react accordingly. To anyone watching, however, the object is clearly harmless. They’ll think the person who was “stabbed” is wildly overreacting.
Wooden pole which can be pressed down to 2 feet long, or stretched out to 15 feet long at the wielder’s preference. On one end of the pole is a willowy wooden hand which the wielder of the pole can manipulate as easily as they do their own hand.
Roll of cotton bandage which surreptitiously draws out more blood from any wound it binds. Unless used on a very minor cut, the bandaged person will bleed out and die without ever realizing that they haven’t been properly tended to.
Domed birdcage with a little locking door, large enough to fit most tiny creatures inside. Any such creature placed within gains a humanlike intelligence and understanding of itself, as well as the ability to speak, and a desire to be pleasing and cooperative. This state is very uncomfortable for the animal. They don’t want to be rude, but they would really very much like to get the heck out of this cage as soon as possible.
Small statue which watches and listens. When picked up it will describe everything it has seen and heard since the last time it was set down. If only recently rediscovered after being left alone somewhere for many years, this may be a lengthy and tedious recitation.
Wrought iron fire poker. Each time it touches a fire, that fire will double in size. Fortunately, irresponsible wielders of this item will kill themselves long before they pose an existential threat to the whole region.
Mousetrap of the spring bar & board style. When the jaw is pulled back and locked in place the weight of the trap increases to ten tons, and it will remain in this magically-heavy state until the trap arm is fully closed. Few creatures will be strong enough to escape the trap, and their own trapped foot or hand will prevent the bar from closing enough to dispel the magic.
Small brazier, in which burns a magic fire. Legend has it this is the first fire made by human hands, kept burning through the eons by careful tending. If it ever goes out the magic is lost forever, but so long as it still burns, any creature close enough to be warmed by its heat will be healed 1hp every 2 Turns.
Glass thermometer with a plug at its top. It’s meant to be filled with a few drops of a person’s blood, rather than with mercury. It will then display hotter temperatures when it is closer to that person, and cooler temperatures when it is further away from them.
Parasol which stores the current weather at the moment it’s opened. Closing the parasol then conjures that same weather regardless of place or time. For example the parasol might be opened in the arctic during a blizzard, then kept open until it can be closed in an arid desert to really mess with the local environment. Of course, an open parasol is an awkward thing to move around, and cannot be easily kept in one’s bags.
Comb which will quickly ferret out any needles hiding in haystacks, or any other aberrant objects that have been lost in a material fine enough to be ‘combed’ through.
Twelve marbles which accurately and unerringly roll and bounce anywhere their user desires, within the range of a thumb flick. This is not limited to a single target or semi-natural path. They will zig-zag, hop, and backtrack as needed to accomplish their wielder’s goals. This is the only power which the marbles wish their wielder to access. Together they are an object of immense cosmic power, with a will all their own. On any given flick there is a 1-in-20 chance that the marbles will choose to become lost, having decided their time with the player character is done. The marbles do not move with enough force to deal damage to most creatures.
Maraca filled with the broken teeth of the dead. Shaking it draws the attentions of nearby ghosts, causing at least one to appear (1d6 – 3, min 1). Ghosts are not friendly, but they know many secrets which were taken with them to the grave, and will sometimes trade what they know in exchange for the characters acting as their living agents in some way. Often what they want is minor, but never is it wholesome.
Satchel of wood blocks. They’re brightly colored, come in various shapes, and are of a style a child might play with. They may be arranged however the user would like. A single clap causes the blocks to grow to become structure sized, while three claps in rapid succession cause them to shrink down to normal. Note that while they could be used to build a little house for the night, the blocks are not affixed to one another, and would make for a somewhat unstable structure.
Sand timer which lasts 10 minutes. When the sand runs through to the bottom chamber, the hourglass and the person who set it in motion will jump backwards in time 10 minutes. Very handy for testing out uncertain actions, since you’re guaranteed a second try. Be warned, however, that the timer can’t be stopped once started, and there’s a 1-in-12 chance for each use that the timer will jump back without the person who turned it, disappearing from their reality, and leaving them stuck with whatever actions they’ve taken.
Line measure of the type commonly used aboard boats. When lowered into a body of water the line causes that body to be at least as deep as the line. A shallow puddle could be made into a 15-foot-deep pool by lowering 15 feet of the line into it. Note that the magic does not actually create more water, it simply causes the water that exists to bi-locate or multi-locate into extra-dimensional space.
Conductor’s baton. When pointed at an object or creature, that thing’s movement begins to produce a musical sound. If pointed at a rat, every scurrying movement and twitch of whiskers will produce melodic tones, which will merge nicely with other tones produced by other moving objects, revealing a sort of music underlying the ecology of a space. Once the baton is used, the thing indicated will continue to produce sound until the next sunrise.
Plumage arrayed in a crest, with a bolt for affixing it to a helmet. Whomever wears it may see and speak with the ghost of the long dead bird whose feathers adorn the crest. The bird is of a large sort which has long since ceased to exist anywhere in the world. It’s not kindly disposed towards the descendants of primates which wear its feathers, but will grudgingly scout for them, and offer mostly accurate information. Doing the bidding of primates is moderately preferable to existing in the tedious limbo the bird returns to whenever the crest is not being worn.
Blanket which traps any 1 person who sleeps with it in a fuzzy, two-dimensional prison. While there they perceive time, but suffer no hunger, thirst, or other basic need. Shaking the blanket causes them to come tumbling out of it.
Stained glass in a 2 foot by 2 foot wood frame, depicting a sleeping dragon. The magic of this device must be attuned to a room by hanging it in a window long enough for one full cycle of moonlight to shine through it. After which the dragon recognizes this room as the location of its hoard. The glass may be carried anywhere in the world, and functions as a small portal back to that room. Any objects placed on the stained glass will disappear when no one is looking, and can be found later in the dragon’s hoard room.
Length of chain 15′ from end-to-end. If lain in a circle, only true promises may be spoken within. It does not lay a geas on the promise-maker, but it does prevent them from speaking if they lack the intention and the will to carry their promise through.
Locket capable of binding a willing soul to this world. It must be placed on the dead person’s body before the body grows cold, after which the soul may be asked to remain awhile before moving on. If they agree, they will appear in the locket as a tiny portrait capable of speech. Being stuck in a locket is dreadfully tedious, and the amount of time any soul is willing to stay there will range from hours to weeks, but not longer.
Razor-sharp scalpel which can cut into living flesh without causing any pain, and any damage caused by its cuts heals itself within a few hours.
Dirty rag of cloth which must be worn in some way in order to work its magic. It might be used as a pocket square, a kerchief, or just lain on top of one’s head. The rag then causes it to appear as though everything the user is wearing or carrying is trash. If they were to hold up a gold coin, it would look like a rock to everyone else. They will be dismissed as a beggar or a dirt farming peasant.
Hide of a great animal treated with magic oils. Three people holding its edges can hurl a fourth person 30′ in the air, after which they will drift gently and safely back to the ground. Each additional person adds 10′ to how high the bouncer can be thrown, up to a maximum of 10 people hurling someone 100′.

An etching depicting an assortment of farm tools. Saws, shears, knives, a bell, ladders, a wheelbarrow, a bucket, a hammer, and a few items of unclear function.

Rake which creates a magical one-way window through any surface it’s dragged across. Each stroke of the rake causes the window to show a space 10 feet deeper. So, for example, if there is a secret cultist den 20 feet underground, then raking the surface a single time will show whatever earth is 10′ below the spot, and raking the surface a second time will show the cultist’s hideout.
Perfume spritzer which causes any ol’ liquid placed inside it to smell like delicious food when sprayed. “Delicious” here being relative to the nose that smells it.
Bar of soap which is most effectively used when one is fully dressed. Not only does it clean the user perfectly, but it also removes minor bruises and abrasions, performs minor mending to clothes, polishes gear until it gleams, and otherwise removes all signs of wear and tear.
Bicycle with a peculiar lever on its handle bar. Any distance covered while riding this bike can be instantaneously un-covered by pulling on the lever. The bike and rider are teleported immediately to where they started from. This option is lost the moment the rider dismounts the bike.
Torch made from treated hardwoods which will never burn down so long as the cloth fuel is replaced regularly. Carvings indicate a particular way of holding the torch (somewhat awkwardly) which causes its flame to stay in whatever air it moves through. Somewhat like the images that are left behind by moving the torch quickly, except semi-permanent and still as hot as ever. With a little patience a person could create a wall of torch fire to close up a corridor, for example. Once placed, the fire remains until the wielder adjusts their grip on the torch.
Ball of yarn with little wisps of smoke twirling off it. When dropped, it will tend to roll towards something that deserves the dropper’s attention. It may indicate secret doors, trap triggers, the hiding spot of a foe waiting in ambush, or just a good deal at market. Each time the yarn is dropped, a few inches of its length burns away, until there’s not enough left for it to have any use.
Paper envelope, appropriate to contain a folded piece of paper. When closed with a wax seal, and words describing a destination location are etched on the wax, a gust of wind will whisk the envelope (and anything it carries) away towards that destination. The location can be anywhere, so long as it is a specific place. “Tom’s desk on the second floor office of his home in Bluehaven” will work. “Tom’s current location” will not. The wind carries the envelope about as fast as a bird flies.
Snow globe which contains a small village. If placed down somewhere and rubbed with the hand, a person can be transported into the village. There they can access the goods and services of the town, and when they wish to leave they merely need to rub the glass dome from the inside to pop out again. The villagers are fully aware of their condition. This place is a purgatory for them, where they are punished for terrible sins committed in life. If they can behave like decent people for for 100 years they’ll get to be reborn, and have a second chance at living a good life. If the snow globe is smashed while someone is inside, they will be trapped at that smaller size until some alternate means of growing large can be found.
Pale blue paste flecked with silver. Safe to touch with the fingers for spreading, but a mere moment after being spread the paste hardens to the strength of iron welds.
Broom which produces a strong gust of wind in whatever direction it’s swept towards. Strong enough to cause an unsuspecting person to stumble, or to propel a sailing ship. There is no limitation on the frequency this item can be used, though note that once a foe gets used to the wind it will have almost no impact on their ability to act.
Tiny catapult, small enough to fit in a backpack. A peculiar spigot allows it to be “inflated” to full size by blowing or using a bellows. At full size it is just as sturdy and heavy as any other catapult, yet if the spigot is opened it will release all the air pumped into it and the catapult will return to its small size.
Plow which digs furrows that are potent with fertile magic which will grow plants from any item as if it were a seed. Plant a sword, get a sword tree. Plant a gold coin, get a gold coin flower. The plants require a normal amount of time and care to develop, and the items they produce will not replicate any magic or artistry present in the original seed. For example, a gold coin will not produce a flower with the same image stamped on it.
Whetstone, long with two flat sides. Twelve strokes will hone any blade to a set purpose. The first side hones a blade to fighting trim, and could make a butter knife dagger-sharp. The second side forms a worker’s edge, allowing even a delicate rapier to chop trees like an axe, or strike stone with its point like a pick.
Belt buckle in the shape of an alligator’s head. A whistle brings the buckle to life, and it can move about using the belt its attached to to push itself along the ground. Its abilities are limited, but it will do whatever it’s asked. Once awakened the alligator will not go back to sleep until it is fed.
Scale which is able to weigh values other than weight. A dial on its base allows it to be set to measure monetary value, cultural value, academic value, spiritual value, and probably a few other sorts of value as well. In order to be of any use, the scale must have something to be weighed against. A gold coin to measure monetary value, or a holy symbol to measure spiritual value, for example.
Spectacles which allow the wearer to see a number above the head of any property-owning creature, showing the net value of their assets.
Whip which tangles expertly and perfectly every time. Able to quickly grab a far ledge, or reliably initiate a distance grapple against a foe. When targeting a living creature the wielder must roll a d20 all the same, and if a 1 is rolled the whip deals draws blood, and deals 1 hp of damage. Contact with blood causes it to lose its magic until ritually purified for 30 days and 31 nights.
Veil of coarse thread, but hemmed elaborately. When worn it reduces vision to indistinct shapes. Putting it on and wandering aimlessly for d6 + 3 turns will lead a person to a safe place. There is food, potable water, shelter, and safety from attack. (All relative to the environment. Where the veil leads in a dungeon or desert will be different than where it would lead in a lush countryside or city). The veil wearer may bring as many people as they like with them, led in a chain of hands, all with eyes closed. While wandering the wearer and followers are guided by the veil’s magics, and will remain safe from harm or violent encounters. However, if anyone opens their eyes, or if the veil wandering is halted before its proper end, the wanderers will invariably find themselves in a terribly dangerous situation. The veil’s magic is able to lead the wearer, but cannot phase them through bars if they’re locked in a cell, or divert a determined foe from killing them if donned mid-combat.
Casket of dark citrus wood. If a person is properly buried in this casket, then the very next day a tree will have grown where they were put to rest. High in the branches of the tree is a book, or perhaps several, which contain every noteworthy piece of information which this individual took with them to the grave.
Censer which produces smoke of special divinatory power. After a space has been thoroughly filled with its fumes, items and marks which are evidence of some wrongdoing will glow a faint yellow. The censer reveals anything that points towards violence, deceit, oath-breaking, or willful disregard towards the welfare of others.
Rug, blue with floral patterns at its edges. About 3′ wide, and 30′ long. When rolled out it’s stiff enough to serve as a bridge, and tough enough to form a short barricade. Only the very ends remain pliable, and allow the rug to be rolled up again.
Empty turtle’s shell which, when placed in water, propels itself at incredible speeds. If the user is able to keep hold of it (no easy task!) they may learn the nuances of movement which allow them to guide its course, and move through the water with the speed and grace of any marine animal.
Embroidery hoop which allows objects to be stored as images on fabric. The fabric must be held firmly in place by the hoop, after which anything from a dagger to a dog can be placed on the taut cloth. The placed item will disappear, existing now only as an embroidered image. At any time the cloth can be torn to break the enchantment and release whatever was stored there.
City seed. Heavy and awkward. When planted, it will overnight grow into a bustling town filled with people who believe in a fictional history of their lives and their town.

That’s another d100 table on the books! I hope you enjoyed it, and that you’re happy, healthy, and getting vaccinated!

d100 Merchants

An older man with a chinstrap beard counts his gold coins.

When next your players wish to go shopping, they may discover that this store is tended by someone with their own rich internal life. This post was written by request from a friend, who has since informed me that it is not at all what she wanted and is totally useless to her. I probably should have clarified her needs at some point, but perhaps it will be useful to you!

The shopkeep / merchant / salesperson is…

Going to notice something about the party. They’ll latch onto a peculiarity and refuse to let it go. If someone is wearing a funny hat they’ll make little jokes about it. If someone is of a species not commonly seen in this region, this person will ask probing questions. They just do not have good boundaries.
Chatty. She wants your opinion on some big issue in the news, or perhaps on one of life’s big questions. If someone makes the mistake of answering her, she takes that as her opportunity to give HER opinion, the explanation for which will last at least seven times as long.
Intensely lamenting a dead plant which he tried really hard to tend to properly.
Obliged to try and upsell every customer on her cousin’s homemade jewelry. It’s terrible stuff. Cheap, garish, unwieldy. She’s embarrassed to be selling it, but familial solidarity is important.
An excitable and energetic young woman. She’s highly knowledgeable about what she’s selling, with a level of expertise that is moderately remarkable in someone so young. She works for a disinterested and penny pinching owner, who doesn’t pay her enough to live on, and frequently demands that she spend more time selling product, and less time helping customers make informed choices.
A pair of elderly newlyweds who cannot keep their hands off one another. This is the first day back from their honeymoon, and they’re still in full-on hornt mode.
Pretending to be asleep so she can catch thieves.
Secretly practicing some ultimately harmless but culturally taboo religious rite. Perhaps they are worshiping the Sun while living under Christendom, or they may be leaving offerings to the finger bones of their ancestors in a place where anything other than toe bones is considered a great sacrilege.
A lethargic young fellow who is thoroughly annoyed to be stuck in this dead-end job. Questions about his wares make him indignant. He’s a shopkeep. The junk on the shelves is what it is. Buy stuff or don’t, but don’t bother him about it.
A stocky redheaded woman in her early thirties, with one eye and one arm. She’s short tempered, and particularly has no patience for looky-loos. She has a tendency to bully women who come into the store. She is attempting to flirt with them, but is very bad at it.
An elderly woman with a lot of religion in her heart. She tends to assume that everyone she meets shares her peculiar beliefs and prejudices, and attempts to commiserate with them about the sorry state of the world.
The bastard child of some great noble. At least that’s what he claims. There is a vague resemblance, which he seems to think is the only evidence he needs. He’s outspoken about local politics, and all of the things he will change when his parent finally gets around to recognizing him.
Someone who grew up quite affluent, but whose family fell on hard times while she was yet in their late teens. The trouble was sufficient to bump them down two or three socioeconomic classes. Now in her late twenties she’s learned how to get by as a dirty poor, but has an irritating sense that the world owes her a better living.
An older fellow whose body isn’t regulating his body temperature properly. He’s either feeling way too cold, or way too warm in any given environment.
A bored young woman fiddling with a bag of marbles. If no one is around, she’ll ask if the customer wants to play a round with her. She’ll even offer a discount if they will liven up her tedious day with a few minutes of playing marbles.
Apparently surrounded by very eager customers who mysteriously clear a path for the players as they approach. The shopkeep has hired a whole crowd of actors to make his shop look busy, in the hopes of attracting business.
Eager to be well regarded for his intelligence. Recently he learned the word “Axiom / Axiomatic.” He doesn’t properly understand its use, but is eager to slip int into conversation to sound smarter.
Wishing her partner was here. She has no idea how to properly record the inventory, they usually handle these things.
Stressed about his kids running around the store, bothering customers and making a mess of things.
Dreadfully ill. Coughing, sneezing, the whole deal. She came in to work out of a misguided sense of dedication, and is very proud of herself.
Outspoken about what a hard lot merchants have to deal with. Everyone above her in society is leeching off her hard work, and everyone beneath her is a layabout. In her estimation it is the merchant class which built society.
Raising funds for an orphanage. She’s got a big bucket on the counter filled with donations, and will be sure to ask anyone who makes a purchase to consider adding their own contribution.
A beautiful man. Drop-dead gorgeous. Lithe of body, gentle of touch, with dark hair and a faint leatherwood scent. He is fiercely devoted to his partner, and does not appreciate people hitting on him.
Attempting to learn a new language out of a book. She’s hoping it will allow her to expand her business into new markets, but she’s having a tough time of it. Her enunciation wrong. If one of the players happens to speak the language she’s learning, they could really help her out.
Cooking a set of eels on a makeshift griddle in the shop. The sea isn’t anywhere nearby, so it is a rare treat to have fresh eels. They will not share even a single bite unless they’re offered an absurdly disproportionate amount of money. They’re also hard of hearing, and may intentionally “misunderstand” any inquiries about their treat.
Wearing an ornate metal nose prosthetic on her face. She likes to make up stories about the spectacular ways in which she lost her nose, though if her partner is around, she’ll usually pipe in with the very mundane true story.

A busy market scene. People in Renaissance-era clothing bustle about, buying and selling. In the foreground, a large scale is used to weigh a barrel against a set of weights. A man holds a basket to be weighed next.

In need of someone to do some minor chores for them. Rake leaves, clean gutters, paint fence, that sort of thing. They’re too frail to do so themselves, and will offer a nice little discount for the work. Not enough of a discount to justify the time involved, but not nothing either.
Accompanied by an overbearing guard who makes it very uncomfortable to shop. This is a new arrangement. The vendor himself had a bad experience recently, and isn’t yet ready to see any issue with the guard’s behavior. Once he notices how little money he’s making, he’ll learn to reign the guard in more.
A collector of live insects. She keeps a great many of her darling pets with her, even while traveling. They require smelly foods and uncomfortable levels of heat. Several are allowed to crawl across her body casually as she works.
Trying to keep himself together, despite having gone through a really bad breakup just yesterday.
Either an informant for some secretive organization, or just the biggest gossip you’ve ever met. He’s absolutely shameless about it, plugging everyone he meets for the juiciest information he can get.
Trying to to sell off excess stock of a peculiar fruit. They thought something exotic to the area would sell well, but they grossly miscalculated. Nobody wants the stuff, and it’s going to start going bad soon. They’re claiming the stuff has wild magical properties in order to liquidate their stock before it rots.
Covetous of something the player character customers posses. It would probably be something fairly obvious: a nice hat, or sword, or bit of jewelry. He may try to buy it, or if he can’t afford it, may attempt to find out where the customers are staying so he can steal it while they sleep.
Red-faced about a very recent and very public embarrassment. He made a big show of seeking some minor position of power within the community, talked to everyone as if it were a sure thing, and when the moment came his bid for the position received absolutely no support whatsoever. He’s a bit of a laughing stock at the moment.
Recently returned to this job, after having quit it in spectacular fashion a few weeks ago. They resent themselves for coming crawling back, and are turning that resentment outwards at everyone.
A little high, and has just come to a perspective-altering realization about the nature of the universe. Something about all reality being predicated on tension between slime and algorithms. They’re eager to share their new wisdom with others, though in about 20 minutes it won’t even properly make sense to them anymore.
Wrestling with a disorderly pet they’re taking care of for a friend. Perhaps a dog, cat, bird, or—most destructive of all—a monkey?
Lifting weights, doing crunches, and jumping rope between transactions. They mutter a lot of weird self-abuse / encouragement, like “Keep going, keep going you trash heap, just 30 more. Nobody will ever love you unless you do 30 more!” If asked why they’re doing this, they will enigmatically say that they’re “in training,” and wink.
Using a complicated sales system which requires a lot of paperwork for even very small transactions. They insist it’s better for everyone in the long run that every detail be properly documented, but clearly the effort is wearing even them down.
Distracted by tending to a crying baby. She is embarrassed and apologetic about it. Way more than she needs to be.
In the midst of a shouting match with their business partner. The two both try to keep it together when a customer shows up, but neither can resist making snide remarks, and then the shouting starts again. Savvy customers could potentially play the two off one another to get some real bargains.
A young person with just…just the absolute worst haircut you can imagine. Like seven different styles all fighting one another on the battlefield of her head. There are huge bald spots, and spikes, and curls, and braids, and it’s just….distracting.
A blind, jack-of-all-trades hustler. While shopping with her, she’ll casually mention all sorts of other things you might pay her for. She is (according to her own reckoning) an accomplished barber, an adequate player of both fiddle and concertina, an excellent fisherwoman, thoroughly knowledgeable about safe paths through a nearby woodland, and not-half-bad as a doctor.
Insistent that everyone in his shop must strictly observe some peculiar cultural or religious practice. There are signs everywhere reinforcing this rule. Characters may be asked to wear heavy chains about their shoulders, or carry a fish in their pocket, or not to speak, or to wear special curly toed shoes, etc.
A shepherd. This isn’t her job. She’s the cousin of the usual shopkeep, and was press-ganged into taking over the job this morning because her cousin is ill. She has no idea what she’s doing.
On a bit of a tear at the moment. They’re angry, and eager to rant about their personal enemies to anyone who will listen. Every stimulus, no matter how banal, somehow prompts fresh memories for them to be angry about.
Convinced that he has a special ability to spot a sucker from a mile away. And the party sure does look like a bunch of suckers to him.
Carefully watching an hourglass. If the party stick around for awhile, she’ll flip the glass and scratch a tally in her notebook. Even when making a sale she keeps glancing at the hourglass, as if it will somehow jump ahead if she doesn’t keep eyes on it. If asked why she’s doing this, she will change the subject by trying to upsell the customer on something.
In mourning. Someone very dear to them died recently. Their grief is sincere, but it is also being highly performed as a show of respect to the departed. Everything is draped in black, they weep loudly, and have even hired professional mourners to stand outside the shop beating their breasts and crying to the heavens.
Intensely enthusiastic, and desperately needs everyone around them to be on the same level they are. If they talk to someone who isn’t smiling and giddy, they feel as though that person must be angry with them. As such they’re constantly trying to coax an unseemly excitement out of people.
Gravely concerned that a recent scientific discovery conflicts with their religious beliefs. They consider themselves both religiously devout and scientifically enlightened, so this is a big problem. They are consumed by attempting to massage these two conflicting sets of facts into accord and resolve their personal paradox.
A foreigner who speaks the local language only brokenly. She is kind and her wares are good, but her lack of familiarity with the local language and customs is causing her problems. She will invariably commit some serious faux pas, offer to sell something dramatically below its proper value, or otherwise put herself in an awkward position which the players can choose either to take advantage of, or help her out with.

A peasant woman with a basket filled with ribbons on a portable stand. She gestures towards the viewer, as if inviting them to peruse her wares.

Very passionate about her hobby. In her off-hours, she devotes almost all her time and money to attempts at breeding cryptids. She has nothing else in her life to talk about, and she is a very talkative person.
Front-woman for some shady practices. Nothing in this shop is actually expected to sell. This place does not turn any profit. She makes the real money from letting criminals use it as a meeting place, or as a warehouse for stolen goods.
Drunk, wearing an outlandishly colorful costume, and playing dangerous games with a deadly weapon. Perhaps he is swinging a sword in wobbly-yet-artful loops, or pointing a loaded crossbow around the room while making ‘pew!’ sounds.
Wayyyyy too casual with threats of violence. He just weaves it into his conversation everywhere, like “If you don’t buy that you’ll be dead before sundown for wasting my time, haha.” He is not serious, but for whatever reason he thinks this behavior is normal.
Obsessed with the peculiarities of a culture two nations away from here. All he knows are tidbits of information gleaned from stories and art, which have led him to construct a fictionalized version of that culture which suits his own quirks. He’s taken to using scattered words from that nation’s language, and explaining them incorrectly to anyone who looks confused (which is everyone).
Planning to commit a murder tonight. She’s anxiously going over her plan again and again in her mind, and terrified she’s going to tip her hand. She just wants to get this interaction over with as quickly and normally as possible.
Supremely kindhearted, to the point of absolute absurdity. This must be a new business, or she’s new to running it, or has recently had a dramatic shift in her personality, because no one so generous could possibly keep this business afloat for more than a few weeks.
A sub-rational nihilist. She actively disbelieves in logic, and causality. Reality is random. If it appears that reactions follow actions, and that their relationship is predictable, that’s just one more layer to the cosmic joke that is life. Her boss insists she take the correct amount of money for purchases, though. The boss is such a philistine.
An absurdly tall woman. Seven feet if she’s an inch. She’s got shifty eyes, is scruffily groomed, and smells…peculiar. She is very worried that someone will discover that she’s been illicitly fermenting cheeses in the back room.
Garbed in the absurd and impractical fashions that were in vogue with the high aristocracy a few years ago. He picked up the costume second hand in an effort to look cultured and well-off. The clothes are constantly getting in his way, and he fail to understand that absolutely no one is impressed.
A person whose legs were not fully formed when they were born. They’ve rigged the whole shop with a complex series of pulleys and ropes which allow them to zip around the rafters and drop down anywhere they need. They’re able to get around with downright frightening speed.
A short fellow with a great big beard, which rests across the counter. He wears a horned helm on his head, has a glassy 1000-yard stare, and speaks almost exclusively via indecipherable grunts. One might be tempted to think there’s something seriously wrong with him, but this is just the means by which he combats boredom. He speaks quite clearly when indicating prices and enforcing the details of his transactions.
A person of indeterminate gender, wearing a long black cloak. Everything about their behavior—their accent, their puns about sucking blood, their avoidance of mirrors and light—makes it painfully obvious that they are a vampire. They aren’t though, not really. They avoid light because they’re sensitive to it, avoid mirrors because they don’t like the way they look, and make bloodsucking puns because they think it’s funny to play on people’s assumptions about them.
A deep believer in the importance of proper augury. She does not attempt to tell the future (such things are irreligious nonsense), but to determine whether or not there is any particular divine favor or disfavor for her endeavors. She has a great pen of chickens outside, and will often throw feed to them, and study their movements to calculate her proper course.
Insultingly arrogant. He makes no secret of the fact that he thinks his wares are too good for a party of dirty adventurers. He’ll take your money, but emphasizes that he doesn’t accept returns.
Willing to accept certain…unusual forms of payment. They regularly barter with wizards, demons, and other dark things which live in the forest. They know adventuring types when they see them, and know also that such folk are often willing to part with things like blood, souls, first born children, etc.
An absolute drop-dead, twelve-outta-ten hottie who has lived their entire adolescence and adult life among dwarves, who didn’t recognize them as anything other than just another human. They’re totally unaware of how attractive they are.
An enthusiastic sports fan. She’s desperate to talk to someone about a match that occurred recently, which the party is likely to be unaware of.
A fellow who is casually tossing items around the store as he works. He throws junk into the trash, product onto the shelves, or onto the counter. Nothing is being damaged, but that seems to be a result of luck rather than skill on his part. It’s probably just a matter of time before he causes problems with his careless behavior.
A massive, muscled, shirtless fellow. She’s got a luscious mane of shoulder-length hair which has clearly been tended with great devotion. She doesn’t say much. She just does her job, and occasionally answer questions with impressive flexing rather than with words.
The architect of a massive building project which was completely bungled. The structure collapsed, dozens died, it major tragedy. The news spread quickly around the area. She had to change her name, her hair, and start a new life.
Suffering from a peculiar paranoia. He believes he is being watched, but has come to enjoy that feeling. He takes a certain exhibitionist glee from being observed at all times, and often assumes new people are privy to details about his life which they have no way of knowing.
Going to try to sell something under the table. It is unlikely the players will want this item (perhaps an old racing toad who is past his prime but ready to stud, or a vial of angel blood, or something like that). None the less, she will talk about the sale as if it is an amazing deal on highly illicit goods. It’s unclear whether she is sincere, or if this is just some strange sales ploy.
A Don Quixote style character. She believes she runs a very high class place, with a royal clientele. Her shop and wares are actually a little below average, but you’ll never convince her of that.

A seamster sits in the large open entryway to his shop, working with needle and thread on a piece of fabric. His wares hang in the background. A man in a cape and feathered cap is speaking to him as he works. There is a sad dog in the corner.

Cursed with invisibility. He hates it, and wears a lot of full-body clothes so people can see him. Doesn’t wear masks most of the time though. Maybe on formal occasions, but in his day-to-day they’re too irritating to bother with. This man is incredibly tired of people trying to hire him based entirely on his invisibility, and will turn hostile at any suggestion that he could “use” his malady.
A living statue which does not speak. He communicates primarily by pointing. He has a slot in his chest where payment may be deposited.
A precocious child with an oversize head—both literally, and figuratively. He’s a meticulous planner, and has every confidence that this first little business is just a stepping stone to greater things. He doesn’t entirely overrate his own ability, he is quite good. But he is a child, and lacks for social intelligence. He has no idea how casually insulting he is, and how many customers he has already driven away.
Engaged in an act of performance art. You only think you’re in a shop because you’re not fully appreciating all the artistic nuance on display. This is artifice. A statement that reflects the artist/shopkeeps supreme genius. You can still buy things from him, but it’s not JUST a transaction. It MEANS something.
Cursed with the form of a pig. Upturned snout, bright pink skin, little curly tail, the works. This is a real problem for him, but paying the rent is a bigger problem, so he’s got to keep the business going and hope the curse works itself out eventually.
An animate structure. The shop themself is alive, and avaricious. They have a face which can manifest itself on any surface within the building. What they use the money for is uncertain, but they seem to want it very desperately.
The body of a person who needed money badly enough to allow a wizard to perform experiments on them. An unintended side effect of said experiments is that their mind got swapped with a creature from another world that orbits a distant star. That creature is sly, distrustful, and slow to action. They’ve been living in this body for a few months now, attempting to blend in as they learn about our world and species.
A very sweaty fellow who is followed everywhere he goes by a wizard. The wizard insist you pay no attention to her. As the sweaty man goes about his business, the wizard collects his sweat in vials, and studies each carefully before labeling it, and placing it in her satchel.
An orc with a great big white beard, who has all the typical lexical impediments one would stereotypically expect from an orc: trouble with pronouns, mismatched word order, etc. The orc is actually something of a polyglot, fluent in 100 languages from a dozen or more different worlds. He’s working in this shop in order to immerse himself in your culture while learning your language as his 101st. He’s been working at it for about a week now.
A gray furred, elderly, rat-person scholar. She really ought to be spending her days in teaching and academic study, but times are hard right now. Even the most learned must find ways to make ends meet.
A guy who clearly does not work here. He just noticed the shopkeep had wandered off for some reason, and decided to try and handle sales while they were gone. He’s not trying to steal or swindle anybody. He’s just acting on a peculiar impulse, and hasn’t yet realized why that might be a problem for others.
A subby guy with boundary issues. Tries to maneuver people into dominating him without their consent.
Human shaped, but only 3 feet tall, and covered head-to-toe in long greasy hair which leaves only her eyes visible. She speaks a language that is not intelligible to anyone in this region, but seems capable enough in the conduct of her business. She gets by mostly with hand gestures.
The demon Pogu has been bound to this body, and kept in thrall to a wizard. The wizard found that she had accumulated entirely too much junk over the years, and tricked Pogu into this bondage until all her excess assets are liquidated. Pogu must seek a reasonable price and must transact his business with the consent of the customer, but has few limitations beyond these.
Leaking honey from his nose and ears, because a colony of bees has made their hive within his skull. His brain is still in there as well. He and the bees came to this arrangement semi-voluntarily after he committed a grave offense against them, and was allowed to choose the mode of his restitution. He assures anyone who asks that he is fine.
What appears to be a half-developed fetus curled up in a floating uterus. The creature speaks by blowing bubbles out the various tubes of the uterus. Each bubble releases a syllable as it pops. The creature is strange, but does not revel in the curiosity of customers. They are a crafty and diligent salesperson, and will not gratify any attempt to pry into their personal life.
Someone very clearly under the influence of a charm spell. They say there’s a special bargain today: you can choose to pay with money like normal, OR climb down into the “hole of fun,” and keep your item for free! The hole they indicate leads to a subterranean nightmare chamber where the customer will be devoured by terrible monsters. It is not subtle.
Riit , Giit, and Viit are a trio of bear brothers. They are not anthropomorphized in any way, save that they can speak and engage in commerce. They have a tendency to bicker constantly among themselves, but clearly care for one another very deeply.
A lizard man who has just gotten to a really good part in the book he is reading. Most certainly will not be pleased to serve customers at the moment.
A disembodied voice who sees everything that happens within her shop. She is terribly exasperated by folks trying to outwit her, and has a standing policy of adding a 10% ‘shithead tax,’ cumulative for every attempt. Notice of this tax is clearly posted behind the counter.
A fish-woman who moves about the shop via a series of hidden pipes and open canals. There are a few different tanks which allow her to swim up to eye level with customers. She specializes in trade goods from the deep sea, but has expanded into local wares as well.
Someone whose reincarnation cycle is broken. Their consciousness never resets between lives. They remember every one from their months in the womb, to their deaths, and the strange visions experienced between. Their memory spans countless generations. They’ve used their vast knowledge to rule the world in previous lives, but that was a long time ago. For the last few lives they’ve mostly just been going through the motions.
An ethical cannibal who will pay to eat bits of you. She would never take meat from someone who didn’t or couldn’t consent, and she always pays a fair price for her food.
A mystical aberration. She was born with the ability to produce powerful jolts of electricity from her body. She uses this ability to emphasize how “shocking” her prices are! What a bargain! She makes a good living here. She will scoff at any suggestion that she leave a prosperous business, a lovely family, good friends, and a stable community to pursue a life of adventure. That’s not a real job! Get a life.

I hope everyone remains safe and healthy. Don’t let the bastards get you down, friends. America delenda est.

d100 Magic Words: Body Parts & Simple Actions

Two more d100 lists of Magic Words! If you’re not familiar with what’s happening here, check out the posts in the Magic Word category, probably starting with the basic system outline.

“Body Parts” is pretty self explanatory. It’s a list of words that name parts of the bodies of living creatures. “Simple Actions” is stuff you can do with just your body, or at most very minimal tools.

If anybody else is actually using the system, by the by, I’d be fascinated to know what magic words are active in your game, and what spells your players have crafted. Email me!

d100 Body Parts