Session 123 – “Worst Case Scenario This Guy Wakes Up. Best Case? Muffins.”

The party began the session by visiting a curio shop so they could spend some of their money. They purchased a Mini of Switching Places which attunes to the first person to use it and has a 5% chance of crumbling to dust with each use. A Lightning Bolt Codpiece which allows a 1d6 bolt of lightning to be launched with each pelvic thrust (save v. device to avoid). 3 Potions, one of which heals 1d10+1, one allows Vertical Levitation, and one that allows the party to find a person. Whiskey of Breathe Fire, which gives a person the permanent ability to breathe fire but they must save versus Poison or die when they drink it. Also a Jar with a Dancing Knucklebone in it.

Losco attempted to drink the Whiskey, but died. Fortunately he’d been given a vague warning against some future ail, which he remembered just in time to retroactively avoid drinking the whiskey.

The party released the knucklebone from its jar, and followed it down into the sewers. On the way they encountered a tall blue guy who spoke oddly, seemed a little lost, and was very friendly. Then they encountered him again and invited him to join them for awhile, which he did.

The knucklebone led to a skull door. It was trapped, but the party managed to open it without losing any limbs, follow the knucklebone down a hallway, and into a deep pit that descended into the earth. There they found a massive chamber filled with sarcophagi. The bone bounced along to the center of the room where a skeleton with a big floppy hat sat on a chair with the words “ASHGAR THE RESURRECTOR” written beneath him. The party quibbled over whether they should let the knucklebone reach him, but finally decided to allow it. The bone popped into place, completing the skeleton, which predictably stood up and stretched.

Ashgar was an interesting fellow. Friendly, grateful for having been awakened, and not at all threatening. Yet the players had the distinct impression while talking to him that he was a pretty skeevy dude, and that maybe they’d made a mistake by waking him up. He told them he needed to get to work resurrecting all his chums who were in the sarcophogi down here.

The party called The Hangman and ASCII to let them know about the situation, and ask them to keep an eye out. Losco tricked him into accidentally double-resurrecting Losco, which makes him annoyingly hyperactive and chatty. It’ll wear off eventually.

As thanks, Ashgar told the players where his treasury was, and told them to take one of the chests there, but to leave the rest. The party did a sneaky money shuffle, taking all the treasure, but leaving behind the equivelent of all but one chest from their own funds. Thus they didn’t disobey him, but they did “acquire” a certain amount of new treasure. Thus did they add 20,000cc to their funds, while also earning 80,000xp to be divided among them.