Session 60 – Androgynous Men Are Hawt

Dramatis Personae
+Frotz Self as Varouj
+Ronnie Whelan as Ronnina
+Moreven Brushwood as The Four Gobbos

Ronnina and Varouj pooled their resources to buy the BG Launcher for 100,000cc.

7 neckties of various color patterns.

The gobbos collected a bunch of old office supplies. Like scissors and glue and white out and scotch tape and legal pads and pens and staples and more!

BG Launcher
Can fire grenades which deal 3d6 damage to everything within a 10′ radius of where they exploded. Save versus Breath for half. The launcher uses smart grenades, which can hold their explosion until they reach a targeted area. This allows the ammunition to “bounce,” allowing shots to be deployed around corners if so desired.

Each piece of ammunition for the BG Launcher costs 100cc, takes up 1 encumbrance slot, and fires 2 grenades before it must be replaced.

The Gobbos main abilities have changed, to better reflect the way gobbos are meant to work.

Poog – Success at any task that can be described as “riding” something. Does not include controlling the thing he’s riding.
Rita – Can attack with melee or ranged weapons at a +6 to hit, with 1d8 damage.
Mogmurch – Has bombs which deal 2d6 damage. Targets may save versus Breath for half. Exhaustion die on the bombs is 1d6. On a roll of 1, he has only one bomb left.
Chuffy – May ask god 1 dumb question every session hour. The answers come directly out of Chuffy’s mouth, as if he’s making them up, but they are in fact divine.

NPC Interactions
Robot Monster – WHITE MAN HURT ROBOT MONSTER BODY! (No loyalty change)
Sheniqua – If not for that unfortunate business on the lower half, and the whole cockroach thing, I would have abandoned you all in a cold second to follow that boy out of here. (No loyalty change)
Dividia Gaym – IS VERY SCARED OF GHOULS (No loyalty change)

Mailer Daemon – A little trepidatious that the party may be setting things up to stab her in the back. Hopes they’ll keep their word and take care of the issue.
Asperlode the Gazeteerian – Is a workhorse wizard. He’s the guy who is willing to do the boring work most wizards will never do, so long as the price is right.
The Androgynous Man – It’s unclear exactly who or what he is, but even money says he counts Needletooth Jack among his friends.

Notable Injuries
Robot Monster’s hit points have been permanently reduced by 4.

Highlights Recap
As the party was relaxing, admiring their Robot, a quadcopter drone popped over the wall of Trumpquatia, flew right up to Ronnina and Varouj, and plopped itself down on the ground. From a device it was carrying, a holographic projection of Mailer Daemon appeared.

The two groups exchanged brief pleasantries, and Varouj asked how everything was going. Mailer Daemon said she wished things were going better, but that Team Gopher had a problem. See, with all their security guards dead (at the player’s hands), they’d been in contact with their supplier to get a big new shipment of goons. They’d put a down payment on half then gotten word that a delivery of materials Asperlode had purchased with that money got stolen.

Team Gopher, not wanting to lose out on their investment, decided to investigate the theft, and discovered that their ostensible allies, The 404, were behind it. So, as Mailer Daemon put it, “Are you trying to fuck us?”

It only took a moment to hash out what had happened. The robot stolen last session had been making the delivery; and the Redrock, Powdered Glass, and Human Internals the party had sold were, in fact, Team Gopher property.

Varouj made all the appropriate apologies, and promised to find a way to set things right. Mailer Daemon seemed to accept that, and printed out a list of everything Asperlode the Gazeteerian needed (identical to last session’s loot list), and requested that the materials be delivered to him as soon as possible.

After a brief discussion of their options, Ronnina and Varouj decided to head to Asperlode’s immediately. He would probably know where to get more of those materials. Their only other lead was xXxWizadSlayaxXx, who had been transporting them. But the two adventurers figured he might be angry about losing his robot, and didn’t want to tempt fate by giving him a chance to figure out who took it.

The party loaded up on 6 Aurochs (Varouj, Robot Monster, Ronnina, Sheniqua, Dividia, and one for the 4 gobbos), and set off to the south.

While they were moving through No-Man’s Land, they noticed a set of red eyes looking down on them from the 4th floor of a nearby building. When they stopped to look back, the eyes faded away.

The party decided not to let this one go. Varouj got out his grappling gun, and launched a rope up to a broken window. One by one, the party pulled themselves up, into an abandoned office building filled with a heavy, waist-high purple mist.

After assuring themselves the mist was safe, the party began to poke around. They found little of interest, save some old office supplies, and a few closets with ancient business attire in them.

Then, when the party was walking down a narrow, doorless hallway, they heard four simultaneous ‘ding’ sounds, as a pair of elevators at either end of the hallway opened. Into view shuffled eight creatures–four at each end. They were naked, white skinned, with green water pouring from their orifices.

The party were prepared, and opened up with spells and weapons. The party is very powerful, and by the time they were done, only a single ghoul remained.

Undeterred by the destruction of its fellows, the Ghoul leaped upon Robot Monster, draining the life out of him, permanently reducing his hit points by 4. The party’s foes then won initiative, and were able to go again. The ghoul’s second attack was unable to hit, but suddenly they noticed the purple mist around them was gone. In its place, standing in the middle of the party, was a naked, androgynous man with paper-white skin, and a snake instead of a dick. His eyes were clear glass orbs, and he glared at the party for a moment, before transforming into a cockroach and disappearing into a hole in the wall.

The party made short work of the remaining ghoul, then decided not to pursue this issue further at the moment. They needed to get on their way to meet Asperlode.

The session ended In Media Res, with 3 encounter checks left.

Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.