Session 54 – How Many Dicks Can A Gobbo Carry?

The gobbos retrieved 50 severed penises.

Varouj collected 41 Alchemical Essences.

Vulcan Cannon
When fired, the vulcan cannon fills a 10’x10′ column with bullets, which deal 3d8 damage on a successful hit. Anyone within that column may attempt a saving throw versus Breath, and on success, they avoid all damage.

The Cannon is not meant to be wielded by hand. For every point of strength below 18 that the wielder has, targets receive a +2 bonus to their save. So a character with 17 strength provides a +2 bonus to their targets; a character with 16 strength provides a +4 bonus, and so on, and so forth.

Setting up the weapon on a tripod require 10 rounds of work. However, multiple people may work to divide the load between them, rounded down. So two people can have the gun set up in 5 rounds. Three people can have the gun set up in 3 rounds, 4 people can have the gun set up in 2 rounds, etc.

The weapon uses a great deal of ammunition very quickly, so it uses 1d3 for its exhaustion die. It takes 1 full round to reload. However, if the weapon is on a tripod, a dedicated “reloader” may be assigned to it, allowing the weapon to be fired immediately.

The weapon, the tripod, and each box of ammo are all separate encumbering items. This includes the ammo which the gun is currently loaded with. (So, if you ONLY have the gun in your inventory, then it isn’t loaded.) Each box of ammo costs 100 credits.

NPC Interaction
Sheniqua, Norno, Albert the Great, Robot Monster: Loyalty remains unchanged.
Faylana: Feels hella empowered by all this murdering. (Loyalty improves to 10)

“S” Man: Continued to be dragged around by the party, and continues to find them very scary, unpleasant people.

7 Scientists: Discovered in their offices. Umquat captured them, and tied them up with the 10 from last session.

Highlights Recap
The session picked up where it left, off, in mid combat. The gobbos climbed out of Varouj’s backpack, awakened by all the noise. Mogmurch started lobbing bombs around the corner at the cannon operators, which proved immediately successful. The operaters were killed, and the gun passed two saving throws to remain unharmed. Most of the group rushed forward to take up positions closer to the cannon, with Albert and Varouj manning it. Meanwhile, Don Harper, Robot Monster, Ronnina, and Sheniqua stayed back to finish off everyone in between the entrance and the cannon, to prevent any possible flanking.

While the party was focused on mopping up the bits of few stragglers surrounding them, a massive force of nearly 50 mean formed themselves into 3 phalanxes, blocking the way forward. When they realized the players had control of the gunnery position, they held back out of the gun’s line of sight, waiting for the intruders to move forward.

What they didn’t consider was that the gun was easily capable of tearing its way through the Sheetrock walls. The initial blast devastated their ranks. But, rather than retreat, they surged forward, hoping to overwhelm the gunnery position with their numbers. The tactic was modestly effective. They did neutralize the gun’s effectiveness, since it couldn’t be effectively turned towards them with so many people pressing in on either side of it. Unfortunately, with so much of the party also surrounding the gun, the combat was too cramped to allow the guards to use their numbers effectively, and combat turned into a series of small engagements. And in each of these, the players were the obviously superior force.

The battle became hopeless for the guards once Varouj finally managed to get a good hit in with his magical shortsword, killing his foe, and causing them to explode; spraying those behind him with a 20′ cone of boiling blood, which dealt 3d6 damage, and left no one in its path alive.

From here, the result of the battle was a forgone conclusion. The guards would never surrender or retreat, but neither could they hope to stand against the party. Bit by bit their numbers were whittled away, before the referee decided there was no point in continuing, and the declared that the party was easily able to kill the remaining 6-8 enemies.

The party took a moment to assess their surroundings. Don Harper attempted to access the computers, but found nothing further of interest more than he already had, save for the fact that the security computers here had been disconnected from the network.

Umquat and Faylana scouted through the remaining rooms, and found a few more scientists for the party’s collection.

With dozens of mean lying dead at their feet, and the floor functionally within their control, the session ended In Media Res

Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.