Session 47 – Operation: Fuck You Too

Dramatis Personae
+Frotz Self as Varouj
+Adventures of the Mind as Don Harper of Mars
+Linlin Kins as Umquat
+Ronnie Whelan as Ronnina

390,000cc from The Hangman for recovering 2 living aliens and 1 dead one.

Comes out to 97,500 CC/XP per character

One Building Buster bomb, purchased for 15,000cc

The promise of good-faith negotiations regarding a supply of personel and equipment for the party’s rescue of the B-Team.

The Bazooka
Deals 6d6 damage on a successful hit, ignoring most forms of hardness/damage resistance. Easily blows through most walls. Targets adjacent to the explosion take half damage, but may attempt a saving throw versus Breath to take only a quarter damage instead.

Human targets do not get any bonus to their armor rating from armor, only 12 + dexterity modifier. However, moving targets get a +6 to their armor rating, since the weapon is difficult to aim with.

Each shot of ammunition costs 100cc, and counts as an encumbering item.

The Derringer
After every 2 shots, the gun must be reloaded (which requires 1 round of combat to do). A pouch of derringer ammunition is an encumbering item. Each time the weapon is reloaded, roll a d6. If a 1 is rolled, then the pouch is now empty and the gun cannot be reloaded again until a new pouch is purchased for 20cc.

The Derringer is very easy to conceal, granting a +1 to any Sleight of Hand checks made with it. It deals 1d6 damage, and (like all weapons) can benefit from sneak attack damage. It has a relatively short range of 30′, beyond which attack rolls suffer a -3 penalty. Beyond 60′, the bullets are moving so slowly they wouldn’t injure someone even if they hit.

NPC Interactions
Faylana – Was a little shaken by her first experience out in the field. She’s good to keep going, it’ll just take a bit of getting used to. (Loyalty remains 7)
Norno – Was impressed with how efficiently the party managed to dispatch their foes. (Loyalty improves to 7)
Albert – Is unsettled by the knowledge that there are aliens among us. (Loyalty remains 10)
Sheniqua – Doesn’t like Ronnina’s taste in badass music. (Loyalty remains 9)
Lugud – Super likes Ronnina’s taste in badass music. (Loyalty improves to 6)
Robot Monster – Feels impotent after his paralyzing beam failed to have any effect. (Loyalty remains 7)

The Hangman – Very happy with the party for capturing Aliens for her. Kinda annoyed with Don Harper for slowing down her work.
Sorceress Lady of the White Way – Has the hots for Umquat. Wants her to burn a white flag if she wants to get busy.
The Aliens – The party captured three, while two escaped. The party are now a well known quantity and an identified threat.

Ladies of the White Way
A splinter faction which formed out of the Lords Beneath the Black. As we all know, the lords beneath the black believe that the sky is a protective blanket; and the stars are a white-hot burning evil which is only just barely held at bay. Our sins poke holes in the blanket, allowing us to see the hell that awaits us should the Black ever falter.

The Ladies of the White Way are, in a sense, the satanists of the Lords. They accept this doctrine, but they believe instead that the burning white fire beyond the black only wishes to purge us of our failings. To reforge us into a better, more noble species. To be embraced by the white hot fires is to become more than human. It is the next stage in our evolution. The black, meanwhile, is an oppressive force which wants to keep us small and insignificant. It knows that if we embraced the fire, we would not need them anymore.

The Ladies of the White Way frequently burn themselves to show their willingness to grow beyond their own humanity. They are a small faction, loathed by the Lords Beneath the Black. It is unknown where their secret citadel lies.

Highlights Recap
May 2517

The session began with a significant amount of bookkeeping. First, we resolved our two Haven Turn encounter checks, which both resulted in Gun Auctions: one for a Bazooka, one for a Derringer. The party purchased both.

Next, two bits of news were discussed. In Lords Beneath the Black territory, the Palace of Befoulments was raided by the forces of the Terapontiff. The building was retaken, many cultists of Akiovasha were killed, and many more were taken captive–including The B Team.

In Redstone Lord territory, Proceo Edward Sallow made quite a stir. He had been assigned to defend the Eastern boarder of RSL territory, but had somewhat exceeded his mandate by invading the territory of the Howlers. No one is complaining, though, because his campaign was successful. The Howlers have been crushed, their lands have been annexed by the Redstone Lords, and the ~600 Howlers who are still alive are being sold as slaves.

The party could not help but notice that this took place only a few months after they were paid a hefty sum from an unknown source to “soften up” the Howlers.

Finally, both Don Harper and Umquat celebrated their March birthdays in grand style, with lavish carousing checks. Don Harper’s check was undoubtedly the more lavish, with expensive delicacies served as if they were chips & bean dip. However, few would argue that Umquat’s was not the more memorable of the two events.

During her 13th birthday celebration, Umquat had her parents marched out onto a gallows. She accused them of brutal crimes, including the murder of her two siblings. Umquat’s mother was beheaded, while her father was mercilessly drawn and quartered over the course of a half hour.

During this party, Umquat drew the amorous attentions of a Sorceress, Lady of the White Way. An offer was extended for Umquat to burn a white flag from the parapets of Trumpquatia if she wished to become…”Better Acquainted” at a later time.

The most pressing matter was the detention of the cultists & B-Team by the agents of the Terapontif. The party realized this would be a significant blow to the cult’s morale, and that they would need to strike back hard in order to maintain their credibility.

They prepared a fairly elaborate plan, which the referee quite liked: They would travel through the sewers, transporting their Building Buster bomb on their hoovercart. Upon arrival, they would hide the bomb nearby, and leave Lugud to attend it. Then the rest of the party would climb a nearby building. Lugud would set the hovercart to run into the side of the Black Cathedral, causing a distraction while the rest of the party used the Bazooka to blow a hole in the 16th floor, where the prisoners were being kept. They’d then use the Grappling Gun to zipline over, and free the prisoners. Once complete, Ronnina (who had prepared multiple castings of Feather Fall), would get everyone safely to the ground. They’d meet Lugud back in the sewers, then disappear back to Trumpquatia.

The referee must editorialize for a moment to say that it seemed like one of the most efficient plans he’s ever seen a group of players come up with.

So the party set out through the sewers, and purchased an Encounter Map to lessen the chance of encounters during their journey. On the way they found a few very large feathers, which they chose to keep, but not to follow up on.

Then, just as they were about to reach their destination, they heard a modem sound. Realizing they had an opportunity to find the Twitchy Men, they rushed towards the sound. When they came close, Umquat and Don Harper moved off together, stealthily. Don Harper attempted to tranquilize one, but his dart seemed completely ineffective! Umquat sprayed the group–5 in all–with her Spandau, dealing a massive amount of damage to all 5. (Their saving throw was 13 and they ALL FAILED). The pair noticed sparks and wires coming off from the wounds, but ONE of the five also had a bit of blood seeping through one of the bullet holes closer to the center of its torso.

The party won initiative after the surprise round, and Don managed to get another tranquilizer dart right into that bullet hole. This time there was an immediate effect, and the creature dropped to the floor. Umquat sprayed the four who were still standing with her Spandau again, and the rest of the party charged up from behind.

Albert managed to tackle one, while Varouj disabled another by shooting it right through its mouth and out the back of its head. (Still up and active, but unable to speak). Ronnina and Sheniqua strolled in with Lugud holding up a smartphone playing metal music, and unleashed a barrage of 12 Magic Missiles.

With 3 out of their 5 down, the remaining 2 called out their modem sound, and retreated up into the sky. The party secured their 3 captives (2 alive, one dead), and called the Hangman, who showed up about 20 minutes later on a Motorcycle, with a crew riding behind her on ATVs.

The Hangman attempted to make a beeline for the captured Twitchy Men, but was stopped by Don Harper, who wanted to negotiate for the release of their prisoners. The Hangman, annoyed, agreed to pay 100k for each. Don pressed, and she offered 130k if he’d just get out of her way. Don persisted, saying he’d also like to negotiate for some personnel and equipment for rescuing the B Team. The Hangman, now very annoyed, agreed. Don let her pass, and she began inspecting the prisoners with various pieces of equipment she seemed to be able to pull from nowhere.

After a moment, she twisted one of their noses, and the creature’s chest cavity opened up, revealing that the Twitchy Men are actually mechs, being piloted by tiny creatures no more than 3′ tall. They had wet, toothless, vertical mouths; and their heads had two domes, covered in ugly pimples rather than hair.

The Hangman attempted speaking to one, but it responded in an alien language. Experimentally, she reached down and snapped the creature’s wrist in her bare hand, and it immediately cried out in broken English “Okay, okay, will talk.”

The Hangman directed her men to transport the aliens back to her citadel, and turned to the party. She instructed them to keep all of this strictly to themselves, and that she would inform them when she had more for them. When asked what was so urgent about this, she told the party that these creatures were not from Mars, and they were not from Earth, and that was reason enough to be cautious.

The party then returned to Trumpquatia, hoping to come up with a better plan now that they had the opportunity to call upon more resources.

The session ended In Media Res


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