as Don Harper of Mars
NOTE: I forgot to mention it before, but we have passed through a full in game year. (This session marks the end of January 2517). This means that all of your characters will be 1 year older, which is pretty relevant for the younger members of the party.
The primary loot acquired during this session is the loot from last session, which was successfully returned to the player’s home base without any further losses. If you have not applied that yet, apply it now.
Don purchased a finely crafted pair of Kevlar boots for 3,000 credits. When the new armor system is introduced, these will provide 2 AC.
ALSO: Umquat has collected a Communist pamphlet and a poster.
ALSO: Apparently I forgot to provide the party with Mongrel’s magic words last time. Here they are: Fire, Ball, Spider, Climb, Gas, Form, Hold, Person, Mage, Armor, Teapot, & Ape.
Robot Monster, continued to enjoy his time with the party, but refused to stay behind with Umquat when asked. Loyalty did not increase this session, and remains at 6.
Sheniqua – Likewise refused to stay with Umquat alone. Loyalty does not increase, and remains at 8. Through conversation, the party learned that Sheniqua really really really hates Techno Priests. Wants to kill a whole lot of them if she can.
Albert – Did agree to stay behind with Umquat. had some great bonding time with Umquat, and a little time alone to text his ladyfriend. Bond improves to 9.
Lugud – Played very little role in this session, but was moderately impressed by how the party operates. Loyalty improves to 2.
Dolly – Don met and spoke with Dolly, a wiry, spry woman in her 50s, with short grey hair, a trilby, and a grey suit vest. She’s a fast talker, and a keen observer. She rents dildos and dildo rooms to people.
Old Foley – Don met an aging cobbler with a very fine little shop. They chatted briefly, and Don purchased a very fine pair of shoes from him.
Sallyalbert – A Priest Beneath the Black of some reasonable note. The players did not meet him, but did learn that he has been visiting Dolly’s Delightful Dildos while in disguise.
Korlom the Wizard Priest – A massive, naked, bald man who paints himself from head to toe with the black soot of heretics he has slain. Umquat charmed him, presenting herself as a somewhat more faithful follower Beneath the Black than she is. He says he will come visit her at Trumpquatia sometime soon.
Dapper Alligator: A low level internet operative with a 4-in-6 Bushcraft skill. Party hired him to follow the robot when it eventually moved, which took him several days, and cost the party 8,000 credits.
As the month passes, the party start hearing a lot about some massacre that happened down in Rulers Beneath the Black territory. After a week, a Mongoose contract is put out for “The Arson of Acorn Street – Dead or Alive” Varouj points out to Ronnina that they were on Acorn street when Ronnina set all those people on fire.
Haven Encounter Die: 2. Rumor. Through the grape vine, the party start to about travelers coming through Comet Caller territory complaining of strange burns appearing on the tops of their heads and shoulders.
Haven Turn Visits: Both Dapper Alligator and Korlom the Wizard Priest will visit the party during this haven turn. We will resolve that at the start of next session. This is also when we will resolve Varouj’s attempt to recruit an army.
Haven Turn Actions:
Varouj: Continues to train Alchemy up to Skilled (Month 3 of 4).
Umquat: Pays the Internet to install an Intelligence implant in her brain. +1 Int. Invests the rest of her time, and 60,000 credits into Trumpquatia. She builds houses, trains farmers, and extends the wall.
Ronnina: Pays the Internet to install a Dexterity implant in her brain. +1 dex. May still take a Haven action…???
Don Harper: Begins Academic Study to improve his Intelligence by +1 (Month 1 of 3)
Sheniqua: Ronnina pays to level her up.
Lugud: Ronnina pays to level him up.
Robot Monster: Agrees to undergo implant surgery (“officer training school”), paid for by Varouj. Robot Monster’s Intelligence +1.
Albert: Don Harper pays to level him up.
Nrrk the Propagandist: on Varouj’s instructions, Nrrk will put out the following advertisement: a new, exciting opportunity for people of an adventurous mindset. No experience necessary, all adventuring professions welcome, starting equipment and basic training provided. Pay commensurate with experience. Opportunities for rapid advancement. Inquiries to be directed to a post office box or equivalent.
Everyone should be paying for any investments they have. See the investment thread (linked in the pinned post) if you don’t remember what investments you’ve got.
The party approached the crates and barrels that had been excreted on freight elevators from the robot’s butt. They examined a crate labelled “Human Internals,” and discovered rows upon rows of vacuum-sealed skeletons, arranged as though ready for animation. They then pried open a barrel marked “Redstone,” and discovered it to be full of a red sludge, like plaster. (Though they did manage to determine that it was not a building material).
After some debate about whether they should try to find more caravan carts to bring these along, or whether they should follow the robot, the party decided to split:
Umquat and Albert would hide in one of the nearby buildings to watch over the robot, and see who came to take stuff, or what happened to the loot.
The rest of the party would travel to the nearest settled area with their Caravan. Don would stay there, and remain in contact with both groups via phone. Meanwhile, Ronnina, Varouj, and the Caravan would continue on towards home.
The rest of the session played out as a series of encounter checks.
Caravan Check 1 (still with Don) They party stumbled upon Dolly’s Delightful Dildo Rental, with a fella in a rubber Dildo suit spinning a sign outside it. Don went in, and was asked by the feisty old shopkeep if he was looking to rent a dildo, and mentioned that they were having a special on private diddling chambers at the moment. Don demurred, but put 20cc on the counter anyway, and glanced askance while wondering if anyone interesting had come through here. The credit cards were in Dolly’s hand before he had a chance to blink, and she whispered that a local Preacher beneath the Black was in here a lot, wearing a disguise. His name was Sallyalbert, and she said that you never forgot the sound of his hollerin’ after attending one of his sermons, and she’d heard plenty of that same hollerin coming from one of the diddling rooms.
Don thanked her, and left. He then hung around this part of town while the rest of the caravan moved onward.
Caravan Check 2 After winding their way through several busy streets, the party came to an area that was entirely empty. Every door closed, every window shuttered. There was still warm food dropped in the middle of the street, and wares left out where anyone could steal them.
Ronnina knocked on one door, and asked what was going on. From within she heard whispering voices say “That’s not him…” “SHH! Just stay away from the door”. Ronnina then moved to another door, knocked, and said “Hey, I’m just curious what’s going on around here.” From within someone hissed “Go away and hide yourself!” Irritated by the obstruction of her will, Ronnina threw up her hands and went to move on her way.
Varouj, walking a little more slowly down the street, spoke out loud to no one in particular “Man, these 300 credits sure are burning a hole in my pocket. I’d love to give them to anyone who could tell me what’s going on her.”
A 16 year old boy bolted out of one of the buildings, followed by the angry sound of his mother telling him to get back inside. He ran up to Varouj, took the money, and said “We’re hiding from Korlom the Wizard Priest,” then he bolted back inside.
Reasonably satisfied, the party moved on.
Umquat Encounter Roll 1: Nothing much was happening around the robot, so Albert and Umquat were both just sorta sitting around, chatting with one another, and texting on their phones. At one point, Albert turned away from Umquat a bit to send a classy, (solicited) dick pic to a mutant woman he was seeing. Umquat, not knowing Albert was seeing anyone, got excited. She ran to pick some weeds that look like flowers, to make Albert’s dick look fancy for his sweetheart. While doing so she caught a glimpse of Albert’s penis, which has now officially skewed her expectations of what to expect from men. Not just in terms of size, but also color. Shape. And…number of teeth.
(Asso eloquently put. “Better.”)
Caravan Check 3: As the carts trundled down a narrow road, a mob came up behind them, led by a priest carrying a bent and mangled symbol of the Cult of Akiovasha. The mob was angry, smashing windows at they went, and chanting death to all heretics. At the rate they were approaching, they’d overtake the slow moving caravan well before it reached any turnoff where it could get out of their way, and the treasure haul was at risk!
Varouj greeted the mob by firing a few rounds from the Spandau over their heads. They didn’t take kindly to it, but they were clearly intimidated by it. (3 on the reaction roll, but 8 on a take check to threaten). The mob slowed down, but kept moving forward with menacing deliberation. Ronnina gave them a single warning to turn back, which did not succeed.
Ronnina & Sheniqua both cast “Fire Portal” on the back of their caravan cart. The columns of flame tore through the mob. It killed the priest at the fore, as well as anyone who wasn’t standing at the extreme edges of the 15′ wide alley. All who remained fled.
Don Check 1: Don enjoys a nice coffee at a local cafe.
Caravan Check 4: The party stumble upon a secret house of Technofaith Worship, right on the edge of the Rulers Beneath the Black territory. They decide to bypass it, but through conversation, discover that Sheniqua REALLY hates the Technopirests more than they thought she did. Like…murder hate.
Umquat Check 2: From her hiding spot, Umquat saw a young man walking around putting up posters. When he spotted the robot, the young man pulled out a book, scribbled something on it, and put it in the robot’s hand, then continued his work.
Once he was gone, Umquat went down and retrieved the book and one of the posters. It turned out they were Communist flyers, urging the people of the dome to rise up against the oppressive forces of the factions, and establish a universal dictatorship of the working class. The book was a pamphlet which went into more detail, with “Robots are proletarians too” scribbled in the inside cover. Umquat kept both.
Caravan Check 5: Safe. The party make it home, loot in hand, without any further complications.
Don Check 2: Don spotted a little shoe shop called “Foley’s Footware,” with an actual glass window, and a display of some fine painted shoes. He went inside, and met the old shopkeep, Foley. He complimented Foley on his very clean, attractive shop, and Foley gave all the credit to his Grand-Niece, who kept everything clean and shining while he devoted the last few efforts of his life to making fine shoes. He offered to show Don a number of goods, including a very nice set of high heels, and a pair of Nikes. When Don asked if he had anything armored, Foley’s eyes lit up. He revealed a pair of Kevlar Boots, which he had made from an ancient vest found on a Peacemaker from the time before the earth fell away. Don purchased them for 3000 credits, and was told that if they ever needed repair, Foley would be happy to handle it free of charge. Don had the boots gift wrapped before he left the shop.
Umquat Check 3: Again, Umquat spotted some commotion outside. An old car frame, with metal sheets where the windows would be, trundled down the road from the South, carried by an army of feet sticking out of the bottom. When the robot was spotted, everyone stopped. A hatch opened in the top, and someone popped out to observe for about 15 minutes before the area was deemed safe. Two children then came out of the top, ran over to the crates and barrels, and started poking around. Some loud shouting went back and forth in a language Umquat did not understand. (((Umquat does not speak Lightlord))). They pulled out 6 small barrels, and made a few trips to take those to their waiting fellows in the vehicle. The foot powered car then marched quickly off back the way it had come.
Don heads home. Rolls stealth to avoid encounter checks The party contacts The Internet to see if they can find someone to take over for Umquat so she can come home. They find Dapper Alligator, who agrees to do the job for 8k. (He usually works for Doctor Guillotine, but he’s not needed at the moment.)
Umquat heads home. Albert fails stealth. Umquat Check 4: Umquat bumps into a huge man, naked, painted entirely black. He asks if she is a loyal child of the Black, which Umquat confirms. (And in point, she truly is). The reaction roll goes extremely well, and the man introduces himself as Korlom. He’s on his way to burn some heretics, and paint his body over again with the soot of their corpses, but spends some time discussing religion with Umquat. They walk and talk for awhile, and Korlom really sees promise in her. Umquat invites him back to Trumpquatia, but he says he has obligations elsewhere at the moment. He heads off, but promises to swing by Trumpquatia in a few days.
Umquat made it home safely after that.
Thus ended January, 2517 C.E.