Session 37 – Shit Talking with Dragons

Dramatis Personae
+Frotz Self as Varouj
+Linlin Kins as Umquat
+Ronnie Whelan as Ronnina

Secured the Cheeto Manufacturing Facility, as well as the full contents of the Howler’s technology storage warehouse. 20,000 Credits.

Killed a total of 1776 Howlers. Received 888,000 credits in payment.

Total: 908,000 credits, which comes out to 227,000 Credits & Experience Points Each

Purchased the following discs for 1 credit each:
-Suikoden 2 for the PS1
-Surgeon Simulator 2053. Counts as 500 credits towards training the Healing skill.
-Ashurbanipal’s Library, a reference resource for weird old books. Counts as 500 credits towards training the alchemy skill.
-The first disc for the Game Cube copy of MGS: Twin Snakes
-A game cube copy of Mario Party 34
-Space Quest Game Collection
-Van Helsing on DVD.

Varouj purchases a suit of Kevlar body armor, which costs 5,000 credits, and provides 18 AC. It weighs 1 full encumbrance.

Howlers Killed
Previous Sessions: 15
This Session: 1761
Total: 1776

Last session, Varouj successfully alchemy’d some Howlers and received 32 Essences. These are worth a total of 8,000 credits, or may be used to craft Alchemical items. As the referee has not yet provided his own list of alchemical items, we can use the list in the Perdition book on pages 301 to 305. Frotz, if you don’t have this book, we can talk about it during the next game session.

Umquat’s signature is a little picture of a dick with a “U” next to it.

NPC Interactions
Sheniqua participated in the party’s adventures. Bond improved from 7 to 8.

Shinedisc Woman – Sold a number of discs to the party. Was given 200 credits to go hang out at the Party’s compound.

Desmodicus the Hateful – Continues to hate Umquat for being fat and having a dick for a nose. Hates Varouj’s stupid jacket. Hate’s Ronnina’s hair. Hates Sheniqua for being a “negro.” Very much wants to kill the party next time they meet.

16 Brain Slaves, including the 3 from previous sessions. These were sent into the basement of the Hall of Science. The Internet arrived and found them to be useful workers.

ASCII fulfilled her debt of gratitude to the party by mapping a section of the sewer for them.

Haven Turn
Encounter Die: 4, “safe.”

Umquat spends the turn investigating the death of Galens Brook.

Ronnina & Bah’t Kabsza research two spells: Hold Portal and Cling to Rock

Don Harper spends the Haven turn healing from his broken arm. He is still missing an eye though.

Frotz: Continues to train Alchemy up to Skilled. (Month 2 of 4)

Highlights Recap
With the party more or less safe back in the Hall of Science, it was time to plot their next move. They decided to speak with the three Brain Slaves, to inquire about any opportunities there might be to kill large quantities of Howlers. The three thought about it for a moment, noting that the upcoming Tongue Wrestling championships were probably a no-go at this point, since the competitors were dead. But there was a regularly scheduled town hall meeting in 5 days. It was usually used to discuss ways to improve the morality in Howler society, but given the recent murder of celebrities in the streets, it may draw an unusually large crowd.

During this period, Frotz also experimented with the acid in the “Brain Recombiner” upstairs. He calculated that there was about 6 gallons of the stuff, and found that it only affects organic materials. He stored some of it in a glass beaker.

The party had the Brain Slaves places their brain sacs into the duper machine, then strapped the fakes to their own heads to disguise themselves as Brain Slaves. They had one of the slaves show them the way to the meeting hall, and sent the other two out to quietly spread the word among some of the other brain slaves that they could escape at the Hall of Science.

The meeting would take place in an old courthouse along a main thoroughfare. The streets were thick with Howlers, and the party had to be careful not to draw attention to themselves. After some reconnaissance and discussion, the party’s attention was drawn to a building across the street from the courthouse. It was 100 stories tall, compared to the slight 4 of the courthouse, and was almost completely abandoned. A fortuitous engineering check on the part of Varouj allowed him to identify a perfect spot to place the BuildingBuster bomb. When detonated, the damage to the building would cause it to fall over, directly on top of the Howler’s meeting.

With several days still to go before the meeting, the party returned to the Hall of Science. They devoted their time to moving all of the equipment on the upper floors into the basement. The process took 2 full days, during which the Brain Slaves kept watch. Only a single Howler came within sight of the building, and fortunately, he didn’t approach close enough to notice anything amiss.

The party also called in their favor with ASCII, and asked her to plot a map through the sewers which would allow Internet agents to get into the basement without ever needing to enter Howler territory. ASCII did so, happy to get out of her obligation to the party so easily.

One all of the equipment had been loaded into the basement, and the map was completed, the party herded all of the Brain Slaves, 16 in all, into the basement, then locked it down and told The Hangman that the facility was now secure. She could send agents in using the map provided, and the Howlers would have difficulty getting past the steel doors. Though, for added security, the party advised that The Internet demolish the Hall of Science. Its relatively minor loss would barely register next to the disaster the party was planning to cause at the meeting. And if the doors to the basement were under a heap of rubble, the Howlers wouldn’t even notice that they’d been locked out.

The party then hid the bomb inside of Ronnina’s fake Brain Sac, and set off through the sewers towards the building they were planning to demolish. Fortunately for them, they were able to follow the route ASCII had mapped out for 90% of the way. Which is good, because the sewer is dark and full of dangers.

First the party encountered a pair of unusual dogs, which Umquat was able to identify as literally hell hounds from literally hell. Again the party was lucky, as the Dogs seemed to be in a fairly docile mood. A bit of meat tossed to them was enough for the party to get passed.

Their next encounter, however, was not even slightly lucky. Without warning, Desmodicus the Hateful was upon them. He was gleeful at an opportunity to slay the fat little umquat child who had insulted him with an offer of silver, and sated him only with an offer of his own fallen scales. He insulted each member of the party individually. Umquat was annoyed. She insulted him back. Ronnina tried to intervene, but Desmodicus would have none of it. He wanted the party’s blood, and the only thing that would stop him was gold.

It was then that Ronnina remembered her ornate mall Katana, which did indeed have a bit of gold filigree on it. They offered the thing to Desmodicus, who howled in rage, accepted it, and let the party pass with only a few parting insults and promises to murder them later. Varouj & Umquat responded in kind, and the party went on their way.

Finally, before reaching the surface, the party encountered the Shine Disc woman once again. They spent a huge amount of time rummaging through her cart, purchasing a number of discs–including both of the ones she was wearing. Before leaving, they gave her 200 credits and told her to meet them back at their home base, where they would arrange to perhaps fund her operation.

Finally the party emerged from the sewer. They snuck into the building they were planning to demolish, planted the bomb, then settled in to wait. There would be a few days yet before the meeting.

The plan was nearly disturbed on the second day when a couple of Howlers showed up to smoke a J, but the party managed to scare them off when Ronnina cast “Spectral Dogs,” and convinced them to find a better place to smoke.

Finally the day arrived, and the turnout was even better than the players had hoped for. The building was so packed that Brain Slaves were being sent home so more Howlers could pack into the building, and people were crowding around outside.

The party left the building. They began to walk back towards the hall of science.

They pushed the button.

The building came down behind them. Billowing clouds of debris flowed through the streets. As the first cries of horror began to echo, the party set off on the journey back home.

Thus ended December 2516. Happy new year.

Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.