Session 31 – I’m Just a Water Bitch, Monsieur!

Special Note
Session 31 took actually took place several weeks ago, a few days after Session 26. However, it was a face-to-face game in which only one of the usual characters (Ronnina) was present, and the rest of the group had never played ORWA before.

Since the main party (including Ronnina), were currently mid-adventure in the main campaign, it was decided that this session would take place during the next Haven Turn that the main party took. That way, the timeline of the game could be kept consistent.

To compensate the many players who were unable to attend this session, a second Haven Turn was appended to the end of Session 30, representing a month taken off of adventuring to pursue personal goals.

Dramatis Personae
+Ronnie Whelan as Ronnina
+Moreven Brushwood as The Four Gobbos
Olivia Whelan as Olivion the Mutant
Maria Whelan as Abby the Insurrectionist


3 Alchemical essences harvested from the Handsy Gator. Sold for 250 credits each, for a total of 750 credits.

3000 Credits.

That’s a total of 3750 credits/xp, or 1250 credits/XP each divided between Ronnina, Abby, and Olivion.

A great plant beast has been brought under Poog’s control as a mount.

The party purchased an Auroch named Fungus

NPC Interactions

The Giga Zucchini vendor: Made another sale, had a friendly chat, is always happy to help make penises better.

Sodom, one of the party’s two Space Lamas, was killed and eaten by a Handsy Gator.

Mr. Mann – the party stole his goods, but had the good courtesy to leave him 200 credits for his losses.

Nejart – The party rescued him from a life of fucksmith sign-spinnery, and brought him to their citadel.

Highlights Recap
According to the instruction of Bah’t Kabsza, the brain worm, Ronnina wished to gather the components for a mighty spell that would extend her life beyond the limits of human endurance. A notable requirement of the spell is that it must be cast upon the soil of old earth, which is quite rare in the Dome. Research indicated that there was a noted supply of suitable dirt in use at an Arboretum within the territory of The Dukes of the Dome. A place where men and women of dignity went to inspect curious plants of exotic origin.

As his compatriots were otherwise occupied, Ronnina recruited the services of Olivion, the mutant mercenary. She also spoke once again to Abby, still held in Ronnina’s dungeon. With some time to reassess her situation, Abby (now controlled by a player, and not an NPC) agreed to work with Ronnina if it would get her out of this cell. The three then set off with the cart into Dukes of the Dome territory. Ronnina was annoyed when, an hour later, it was discovered that the four Gobbos (Rita, Chuffy, Mogmurch, and Poog) had been sleeping in the wagon, and were now along for the ride. Ronnina cast Spectral Dog for the Gobbos to ride, to keep them entertained and out of her hair.

On their way to the Arboretum, the party stopped briefly at Hoodoo Pastries to get a bite to eat. Shorty thereafter they found yet another alleyway littered with shed hands, which was becoming a fairly common sight to Ronnina’s eyes. She pressed onwards without thought, and soon encountered once again the Giga Zucchini vendor, and purchased enough of the GZs for everyone in the party to enjoy one. Ronnina suggested to the Giga Zucchini merchant that there were many penises to improve in the territory of the Fighting Mongoose, and that if he wanted to set up permanent shop within the party’s walls, he would be welcome. The GZ vendor appreciated the offer, said he would keep it in mind, but also that he loved his life on the road and had no desire to leave it.

As they went further on their way the party was ambushed by a Handsy Gator–presumably the same one whose hands they had found earlier. The thing was ravenous, and seemed intent first on the meaty forms of the two Space Lamas pulling the party’s cart. It devoured Sodom in a trio of quick bites, but was killed by an intense spray from the Spandau before it could do any greater harm.

Finally, the party reached The Arboretum. They parked their cart in a nearby alleyway and sent Abby in on her own to pretend to be a lost child. Her youthful affect was convincing enough for the Arboretum manager–a man named Mr. Mann, who had no reason to suspect mischief in such an unassuming local as his gardens–took her to his office while others were sent looking for her “big sister.”

Ronnina, meanwhile, had snuck into the place and accosted a young man who was watering the plants, asking where the plants growing in the soil of old earth might be found. He insisted that he knew no such things, and was simply a “water bitch.” Ronnine pressed onward of her own accord, and eventually found the display featuring plants growing in the soil of old earth. He called to a group of passing Water Bitches and offered them a few credits each if they’d help him shovel the dirt where he needed it to go, which they agreed to. He then called to Olivion on the cell phone, and she sent the four Gobbos riding into the building on spectral dogs to cause a ruckus. A moment after, she came barging in at a run with a wheelbarrow the group had acquired earlier. The barrow was filled quickly with the help of the Water Bitches, and the party was able to make a few trips before it was time to flee. They easily got enough into their wagon for Ronnina’s ritual. Abby, meanwhile, left 200 credits on Mr. Mann’s desk before slipping out. Compensation for his loss.

The party moved quickly on their way out of Dukes territory, and once they’d reached a goodly distance from their crime they paused to purchase a new beast of burden to aide their now single and struggle space lama. No Space Lamas were on hand, so Olivion purchased an Auroch, and named it Fungus.

As the party continued on their way, they were accosted by a trio of thieves riding a great plant beast. After a pitched battle, the thieves were slain. Their saddlebags were looted for 3000 credits. And, most notably, Poog successfully learned to ride the great plant beast, subduing it to his will.

Just as the group was nearly home, they encountered a young boy named Nejart (which the party decided to call Nedge-Sir) who was performing feats of sign-spinning for a business called “The Fucksmith,” which advertised the ability to create any form of sexual encounter you might desire for yourself. The young boy was an indentured servant of the Fucksmith, and the party took pity on him. They convinced him to hop into their cart and carried him the rest of the way back to their citadel, where he now resides.

So ended November, 2516 C.E.

Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.