Session 27 – How Bobbert Stole the Show

“In 2502, a crack commando unit was sent to space jail by a mutant court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men and women promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to The Internet underground. Today, still wanted by the Redstone Lords, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the B-Team.”

Dramatis Personae
+Ronnie Whelan as Agrippa the Fighter.
+Moreven Brushwood as Rita, Mogmurch, Chuffy, and Poog, the mutant infants.
+Adventures of the Mind as (I’m sorry I don’t remember)
+Frotz Self as (I’m sorry, I don’t remember)


NPC Interactions
(Since the players were playing side characters for this session, none of these NPCs actually encountered “the party”)

Desius (The capricious, cigarette smoking mob member who carries a quiver of umbrellas) Converted to the cult of Akiovasha.

Alicia (The tan, shameful military historian) Converted to the cult of Akiovasha.

Bobbert, (A dramatic hypochondriac with crooked teeth) Converted to the cult of Akiovasha.

Akiovasha noticed that people were talking about her for some reason.

Lloyd provided information meant to undermine the faction he was previously loyal to.

Frederick traveled with the B-Team, wittnessed all the things they did, and fotodocumented all of it.

Shine Disc Saleswoman, sold some shine discs!

Highlights Recap
Given the complex plans laid out by the party at the end of the previous session, and the fact that we were expected to have a low turnout this session (which didn’t actually happen), we decided that instead of playing the normal characters, tonight the party would play a group of low-level Internet operatives who had been tasked by the main PCs to stir religious dissent

The party consulted with Lloyd regarding the Rulers Beneath the Black territory, hoping to find a site that would be religiously significant, but not terribly well defended. They settled on an old Observatory in Greenspace Gamma. A site that was revered by the people, but whose importance was downplayed by the church hierarchy due to their tenuous hold on that bit of territory.

In preparation for spreading their new Snake Cult (which Poog eagerly supported by holding up a jar he had in his pocket with a garden snake inside of it), the team had the writer produce some pamphlettes, which they Xeroxed using Internet resources. They also gathered some red cloaks to give them a uniform appearance, some food to hand out to the masses, and a large collection of rebar twisted and shaped to look like snakes. These last were meant to serve as a kind of “holy symbol” that could be handed out to the people.

Once these supplies were gathered, the group teamed up with Frederick the Photographer so he could photodocument their success, and headed on their way.

En route they encountered a young woman being escorted in shackles by a group of RBTB priests. The party demanded they release their prisoner, and when the demand was refused, they attacked. Unfortunately, during the ensuing battle, Mogmurch got a little overexcited, and threw a bomb right into the middle of things. It killed not only the two priests still standing, but also their prisoner.

As the woman lay dying, the party listened to her final words. She told them her name was Leslinika Blueman, and that she’d been trying to escape to Outsider territory where her brother, Otto Blueman, had said he could get her a job. That the rulers had captured her, before she’d made it to safety and were hauling her back to stand trial as a heathen. She asked to have her body delivered to her brother, which the party agreed to.

After she passed, the party quickly established a cover story about the priests being the ones who killed Leslinika, and that they had come through to punish the priests. They took some pictures, placed the dead priest’s heads on the ends of some of their rebar serpents, and went along their way.

As they continued along, they met a plump, topless woman pushing a shopping cart covered in old compact disks. Her nipples had been pressed through the center of a couple disks, which she was wearing like nipple shields. Rita convinced one of the other party members to purchase one of the shine discs for her. They also bought 50,000,000 free hours of AOL, a copy of the Encyclopedia Brittanica, and a copy of King’s Quest 6.

As the group entered Rulers Beneath the Black territory, they came upon a preacher on a stage standing above a throng of prostrate followers who were listening to his preaching / admonishment. The group stepped forward to denounce the speaker, and attacked him…and missed. And missed, and missed, and missed, and the 2hd preacher was making quite a fool of them until finally someone delivered a decent fuckin hit and took him down.

The PCs then took to the stage and made the first big pitch for their Akiovasha: the she-serpent who slithers through the heavens! They rallied the crowd into an absolute fervor, converting them completely to her worship and transforming them into an angry mob. They pulled three random sods from the crowd–one Desius, Bobbert, and Alicia–then sent the rest of them off to ransack the area and spread the ‘good word.’

Upon reaching the observatory, the party found it to be a fairly empty place. A few folks came and went, a handful of priests shuffled around inside, but there was no significant presence around to stand in the party’s way. None the less, they chose to proceed with caution. Poog stealthily made his way into the observatory, the into a side room where the priests stored their vestments, various seasonal objects, and other odds and ends. Poog placed his penis (an item in his inventory, not the one between his legs) on a table in the middle of the room, then knocked over a large pile of things. Just as the ruckuss began to draw attention, Poog crawled into the vents.

While the priests were distracted, Poog smeared oil all across the Observatory’s telescope, then went outside to let the rest of the party know that the deed was done.

The party stood up on the ramp leading to the observatory and began to preach loudly. A crowd gathered slowly, but surely, assisted by the three already converted citizens of RBTB territory. The party began their grand oration as the priests from inside the observatory started to filter out.

This crowd was somewhat less receptive than the previous one had been, but they listened, and slowly got turned on to what the party were trying to sell them. Unfortunately for the party, the priests who came out of the observatory were similarly eloquent. So when Agrippa hurled one of them down off of the ramp (injuring, but not killing him), the crowd didn’t cheer, they just murmured. They took a wait-and-see approach as the party invited them into the observatory to wittness Akiovasha’s power.

Fortunately, the pre-prepared oil, combined with ________‘s spell “Invisible Fire” caused quite an impressive spectacle as the Hallowed Telescope began to blacken and melt. This, finally, pushed much of the crowd over the edge. Many pledged to Akiovasha immediately.

At this point, the session ended. The B-Team remained in RBTB territory, continuing to foster their cult, and directing their current members activities to maximize the amount of distraction the cult would create.

Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.