Session 10 – God is More Powerful than Boners

Dramatis Personae
+David Carli-Arnold as Galens Brook
+Ronnie Whelan as Ronnina
+Cory Davidson  as Spanner
+Spencer Kelty  as Virgil

+Linlin Kins  Observing

12,000 Credits
The Magic Word “Balance”

Injuries and Mutations
Galens Brook earned himself a small scar on his chin.

Galens Brook gained the ability to power electronic devices by touching them with his body.

The Giftgiver’s Gaze of Shame does work on the referee.

In the next version of the Giftgiver, the ability to enter buildings should be once per year, not once per day.

Couches have AC 10

NPC Relationships
The party saw a strange side of The Hangman, learning about her deep religious convictions, and saw a brief flash of anger from her when Galens came between her and the religious relic she desired. Galens used the Gaze of Shame against The Hangman, rendering her immune to it forever after.

Haven Turn
Encounter Die: Rolled a Safe result.
Ronnina: Researched a random magic word. “Balance.”
Umquat: Becoming a Cyborg.
Virgil: Purchased several cybernetic enhancements.

Spanner: Undecided
Galens Brook: Undecided

Umquat is transformed into a cyborg. At the cost of all of her money, she has been restored to life. But there are some drawbacks to this.

Her neck had to be almost entirely reconstructed. Because of this, she must now eat and drink through a tube in her stomach. This requires special liquid rations. She is incapable of consuming normal food. Additionally, she now has a robot voice.

If Umquat is ever subject to an electromagnetic pulse, her neck will stop working properly, and she will immediately be reduced to 0 hit points. (or gain 2 pain if she is already at 0)

Because of the extended period of time Umquat was brain dead, she has developed a paralyzing fear of the dark. Literally. If she is in the dark, she is completely incapable of moving at all.

Highlights Recap

Virgil leapt over the bodies of the two recently killed Glowy-Eyed Motherfuckers and ran out into the open to grab Umquat’s body, covered by Galens brook. A task that was completed with surprising ease. Only once Virgil made it back to the “safe” side of the barricade did things start to go wrong. The party had neglected to protect their flank, and the four unaccounted for Glowy-Eyed Motherfuckers burst through the back door of the lobby, catching the party unawares.

The battle which followed was grueling. It was not certain that any of the party would make it out of there alive, and flight was briefly considered when Ronnina was the victim of multiple Gazes of Judgement and seemed moments away from death. A lot of bad rolling had the party against the ropes, but slowly and surely the tide of battle was turned. Ultimately the battle was won when Spanner used a grappling hook to latch on to the couch their foes were using as cover, and pull it aside, exposing the enemy to a barrage of arrow fire. The battle was won.

Upon exiting the building, the party saw that the entrance to the building was once again guarded by four of the Glowy Eyed Motherfuckers. Virgil used one of his Alistair abilities to learn something about the GEMFs. He learned that their proper name was “Children of God,” and that they were normal humans who were being controlled by an unknown divinity. The party, as it turned out, were working directly opposite the will of a god.

The presence of Galens, however, granted the party some new ways to approach their situation. Using his powers as a Giftgiver, Galens entered the building along the Western wall, and immediately entered gaseous form. Wafting gently through the building, he discovered he was in a grocery store that had been converted into a kind of fortress. There were catwalks along the tops of the shelves, with patrolling Children of God. There was a meat cooler with severed heads in it, there was a large fire pit. And, most interestingly, the South Western corner of the floor had a gathering of 7 Children of God,  all guarding the hallway that led to the bathrooms, and to the stairs which would lead up to what had been the office.

Galens took some time to consider a strategy by which he might bypass these guards. Returning to the aisle near the Western wall, Galens used one of his mutations to exude lustful pheromones, then moved away from the area, fired an arrow to create a noise, and turned into a gaseous form to hide himself. His hope was that he would inspire an orgy amongst the guards who came to check on the sound, and perhaps even overcome the mysterious divinity’s control over these people.

Unfortunately, only a single guard came to check out the noise. And while this guard’s pants did swell with a mighty boner, this did not remove the glow from his eyes. Galens collected himself into a corporeal form, and attempted to use his Gaze of Shame to dissuade this person from following the religion. However, since this person had actually never heard of the god they were serving, and were just an innocent bystander who had been enslaved to the will of a superbeing, there was nothing for them to change their mind about.

Initiative was rolled, Galens won. From his bag of gifts he tossed a pack of condoms, then popped back out of the building the same way he had come. During this time, Virgil had used his Alistair’s exasperation to discover a secret door. Which, by sheer luck, was almost exactly in the same place Galens popped in and out of. The party never made use of this secret door, though, so that’s all there is to say about it.

The party retreated to a nearby ally to camp, and plan their next move. At 12:01 am, Galens turned himself into gaseous form, and floated up near where the office would be. He then reformed his body, and touched the wall. As it was a new day, Galens was able to again pop into the building. There, on a desk with AC 13, was the hunk of a statue that the party had worked so hard and suffered such loss for. Galens grabbed it, left a gift of a sticker behind, and popped back out of the building.

In the morning, the party marched home. At one point they dropped Umquat’s body, snapping some of the bones in her arm, but otherwise they made it back safely. When presenting themselves to the Hangman, they found her unusually eager to get her hands on the stone. When Galens insisted that the Hangman address the issue of the dead Umquat, The Hangman even became threatening. Galens used his Gaze of Shame, and the Hangman calmed down. She agreed to address Umquat immediately, and a forklift robot came in to carry Umquat away.

Once that was done, The Hangman took the stone from Virgil, and cradled it lovingly against her chest. Galens asked her what the stone was, and she said it was a relic of her god. Galens asked her who the god was that had been holding it, and The Hangman said it was an unnamed and jealous minor god. Galens asked The Hangman what god she worshiped, and she said she was unwilling to answer that question. She then pointed the party towards their payments, and left the room.

Galens stared after her, regretting for the 100th time that he’d allowed himself to be pulled along in joining this organization.

So ended April 2516 C.E.

Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.