Category Archives: Completed Projects

Free Adventure: Potatoes & Rats

Potatoes and Rats coverWhat is The Mongrel Banquet Club?

A gathering of cretinous alcoholics who only have two wholesome pleasures between the lot of them: pooping, and playing  D&D. They spend all day in their secret clubhouse, yelling obscenities at each other and making jokes about genitalia. And if I told you any more than that, they’d probably kick me out, because we’re just juvenile enough to still think Fight Club references are clever in 2017.

“The first rule of the MBC is…”

Sometimes, between hangovers, the MBC makes books. The first three were Secret Munticore, PeePee Soaked Heck Hole, and Baseball #1. I’ve had some hand in all of these, but given the incestuous, shitstained style of the MBC, I haven’t made a point of really promoting them on Papers & Pencils.

Potatoes & Rats PaintingSo, what’s different about Potatoes and Rats?

P&R is a book that I pushed along, every step of the way. I was the one who posted the prompt. I organized people, edited what they wrote, and helped with the layout. Only a single room of the dungeon is completely my work. But just about every single sentence has been massaged by me in some way. That’s even a photo of me on the cover.

In other words, Potatoes & Rats has been my mongrel baby, and I won’t rest until every single person in the world has read it, and acknowledged me as a good father.

Potatoes and Rats SOCKERBut what is it? Why should I buy it?

Because it’s free, ya dingus.

I don’t want any of your money. I just want you to read the wacky ravings of me and my fellows, chuckle once or twice, vomit three times precisely, and come away from the experience with a little less faith in humanity than you had going in.

As for what it is, well, it’s sort of a dungeon adventure. I say “sort of,” because it’s unplayable. It even says so, right there on the cover, next to the bit where we wrote the word “by” two times, and decided not to fix it as a joke.

The book is really more of a collection of weird, unfunny jokes, strung together in adventure module form because we’re all a bunch of hacks who are trapped in the conventions of our genre.

Anyway, I think I’ve written enough text to space out these images. So just go download it, and read it, and…like…tell me I’m good. Give me the love I never got from mommy or daddy.

Get Potatoes and Rats on RPGNow, or if you prefer, get it on DriveThruRPG, which are different websites, but also the same website.

Potatoes and Rats Will Power the Apocalypse

The Fishmonger’s Revenge

The Fishmonger's RevengeThe other day I was hanging out in an obscure little corner of the internet with one of my very oldest friends in the world. We’ve been buds for 15+ years now, and the only thing we have in common is the ability to pedantically blather on endlessly about any subject under the sun.*

On a whim, I asked him to give me a title for an adventure that I promised I would write.

Nick W. and Tzvi Kilov
And so I wrote it. I think it actually turned out pretty well, and it was a great excuse to spend some time with publishing software. I really need to spend more time doing that sort of stuff.

Anyway, here’s a one page dungeon if you want it:

Download The Fishmonger’s Revenge

*With regards to said blathering, we actually have a whole podcast for doing that. I haven’t mentioned it on the blog before, because the podcast has nothing to do with D&D, and I’m bad with self promotion. But since it’s somewhat relevant here, allow me to humbly suggest you check out Dumb Stuff Taken Seriously. It’s terrible!

The Bloodsoaked Boudoir of Velkis the Vile

Click here to download “The Bloodsoaked Boudoir of Velkis the Vile” by Nick LS Whelan

The Bloodsoaked Boudoir of Velkis the Vile

I made a thing! It’s a free adventure called The Bloodsoaked Boudoir of Velkis the Vile, available on DriveThru RPG. The Bloodsoaked Boudoir started life as a section of my Dungeon Moon campaign. My players loved Velkis and his Boudoir, so I’ve written them up with all the info you’d need to include them in any campaign setting.

The art was done by my (at the time) 17 year old brother Ronnie Whelan. It’s got an old school, DIY feel to it. Like the best of Arneson’s doodles in the original three little brown books. It’s a good fit for the adventure.

So, funny story.

My players killed Velkis multiple times and raided his Boudoir in its entirety way back in December 2013. This module was written by the end of January 2014. The art was all completed and delivered to me by sometime in March 2014 at the latest. During this period I told more than a few blog readers that I had a PDF coming out ‘in the next month or two.’  Meanwhile, this project sat on my hard drive rotting away as I put off the dreaded task of making a pdf.

I’ve got this bug in my thinking where I feel like any time I don’t spend writing is wasted time. So if I need to spend an entire day learning how to use Scribus, piecing together pages of work that I’ve already written, then at the end of the day I’ll feel like a failure. It’s ridiculous. No matter how much I write, my writing is worthless if it’s just sitting on my computer.

A couple weeks back, I committed myself to working on more small projects. Finally getting Velkis out the door is the first step in that commitment.

So go download Velkis. Read it. Run it. Tell me what you think of it because mom and dad didn’t love me enough and I thrive off of the affirmation of others.

Reviews

Bloodsoaked Boudoir is not an arrogant product, it’s small and can fit into another game with some ease, while still being interesting enough to give an evocative sense of it’s authors sort of game and game world that is different enough from the standard ‘orcs in a hole’ fantasy adventure to provide interesting ideas, and leave a reader with the sense that maybe they wouldn’t have thought of it themselves. With all these advantages the author is happy enough to simply publish his work as a pay what you want PDF, rather then promote it and clamber for your cash.” -Gus L. of Dungeon of Signs

Free Module: The Hidden Tomb of Slagoth the Necromancer

Click here to download “The Hidden Tomb of Slaggoth the Necromancer,” by Adrian Stone and LS

Hidden Tomb of Slaggoth the Necromancer Cover ArtSo, I wrote a small dungeon adventure module.

It started early this year when I stumbled on to the website of fellow D&D blogger, Stonewerks. Stonewerks primarily makes maps, and his work has heavily influenced the way I’ve drawn the Deadly Dungeons maps over the last few months. At the time, his newest post was “The Hidden Tomb of Slaggoth the Necromancer,” a map which caught my eye, both for its lovely design, and compelling description:

“The long lost Tomb of the evil necromancer Slaggoth, is buried deep with in a cavern complex. The caves have become the home of a trio of ogres and their band of goblin henchmen. The goblins guard the entrance by watching through a small crack in the rock above the entrance, alerting the other goblins when anyone approaches the entrance. The goblins will then unleash a small pack of wolves that they have chained in the front caves against the intruders. If the wolves are not enough to repel the intruders, the goblins will send a runner across the wooden rope bridge to the ogre lair to warn their masters and will use ambush and retreat tactics to slow down the intruders. In the ogre cave is a massive steel door that leads to the hidden tome of the evil Necromancer Slaggoth. They have never been able to breach the door, so the tomb has remained untouched. Rumors of a key to the steel door is hidden somewhere in the caves, but has yet to be found. What horrers lie within Slaggoth’s tomb? Who is brave enough or foolhardy enough to find out?” -Stonewerks

Stonewerks and I got to talking in the comments, and then via email. What started as me filling a lazy evening by keying an empty dungeon turned into a full-fledged attempt to write my first module based on Stonewerks’ seed idea. I dragged several people through playtests and proof readings, and even got cbMorrie and Jacob Rain (both of whom have been featured on P&P before) to provide some free art for it.

The module proper has actually been done for several months now. The work of getting everything written, tested, re-written, and edited only took a few weeks. The art took a few weeks more than that. The hard part, as it turns out, was making a PDF. It’s not something I’d done before, and I found it a frustrating process to start with. One which I procrastinated over and over again. I’ve got a pretty fair handle on how to do it now, though, so hopefully future attempts won’t take quite so ridiculously long!

So please, download it! Let me know what you like or what you hate. Run it for your group if you are so inclined, and if you do, let me know how it goes! This is an experiment for me. One which will hopefully pave the way to future products.

Reviews:

I think it succeeds much more than most adventure supplements, and I’d be happy if this adventure represented the quality baseline of OSR fantasy.” -Bryce Lynch

 “a very fun adventure that could be great for one shots or a couple of evenings of play to introduce new players to old school games.” -Teh Badger

Clever and weird adventures with a clearly pulp asthetic that can be used straight across ANY edition are rare, but being free and of such quality is a very rare combination indeed. Grab and download this one folks. You won’t be sorry.” -Needles

a real nice 1st effort that is far better than my first couple years of adventure writing for sure.” -The Frugal GM

This led the party to the crypt room with Slaggoth’s corpse. Her sarcophagus rested on a raised dais at the back of the crypt. Six pillars running through the room had statues of skeletons carved into them. Slaughto had the bright idea to tie ropes around each of the statues legs just in case the statutes became animated. (Spoiler alert: Very good decision!)

Kharl tried sliding the lid off the sarcophagus. This caused the six stone skeleton golems to animate, just as Slaughto fears. The golems all toppled over due to the ropes.” – A full play report from Buttmonkey on the Troll Lord Games forums.

“I’ve run Slaggoth’s a few times for people as an intro to OSR. I put it up there (with minor alterations) with Finch’s Tomb of the Iron God and Raggi’s Tower of the Star Gazer as awesome starting adventures.” -LBriar of Reddit, sent to me in a private message.

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