Well known amphibian aficionado and all-around cool dude Michael Raston recently put out The Level 1 Creature Generator. It’s a handy tool for referees who are tired of listening to the reptilian enthusiasts and mammalian traditionalists argue with one another every time the party is attacked by Kobolds.
I think it’s a pretty fun creative tool, but I’m also Michael’s bud, so I’m not going to pretend to offer any kind of serious review for it. It’s good stuff, and Michael deserves his dollar for it.
That being said, after perusing the basic shape table, the form table, and the ability table, it struck me that the project could be improved by inclusion of a behaviors table. So I made one.
Level 1 Creature Behaviors
Roll 1d4, then 1d10
One
- Plagued with obsessive compulsions. Must perform actions a specific number of times, quickly clean any blood off themselves, and adhere to rigid standards of organization and symmetry in all things.
- Will talk about anyone it encounters as if they cannot hear or understand it. Will only directly address other creatures of its own type, or sometimes talk to itself.
- Takes wagers on everything. 5sp you can’t guess where their tattoo is? How about 2sp you’ll need to ask them for help before you get out of the dungeon? 15sp they can kill that adventurer in less than 3 swings.
- Tell a lot of really obvious, pathetic lies, all the time.
- They use a “talking stick”, and take it very seriously. Anyone who speaks without holding the stick is warned a single time, then attacked with intent to kill if they break the rule again. If their stick is lost, they will not speak until a new stick can be consecrated.
- Interpret everything in the most depressing possible way. They seem almost fetishistic in their desire to be miserable.
- Have a dizzying array of superstitions. It seems everything that happens can be interpreted to have some prophetic significance to them.
- Believe themselves to be much more intimidating than they are, as if the mere sight of them should make mortal men cower in fear. No matter how someone acts towards the creatures, they will bend over backwards to maintain this belief.
- Act as though any violence they perform is a favor. “You are welcome for ending your miserable existence. It must be such a burden being a member of a lesser order of life.”
- Conceive of themselves as contemptible filth-creatures, which deserve to be put down.
Two
- Treat new people they meet with an uncomfortable familiarity, like an obnoxious sibling. They’re very touchy, take constant jibes at a person’s foibles, and play pranks which go way too far.
- Waste is deeply offensive to them. They are committed to using every part of the adventurer.
- Have an obsession with seeking out the most glorious deaths they can. Will fight to stay alive only to make the death more glorious.
- Always have a scribe among them wherever they travel, so someone can record their deeds and bring it back to the community. This scribe is strictly a non-combatant.
- Are paralyzingly afraid of the dark. Always have plenty of torches or other light sources with them.
- Are frantically afraid of the vast open void of the sky. Refuse to step out from the underground. If they can be captured and shoved into a building, they will never leave it of their own volition.
- Dispassionate, scientifically curious observers. Will frequently repeat an action several times to see if the results are consistent. Obsessively record their findings.
- Tinkerers, always enthusiastic about trying out new things to see if they can achieve interesting results. Get bored very quickly.
- Offended by the very concept of writing. Thoughts should stay in people’s heads where they can be alive. Trapping thoughts on paper is perverse.
- Passionate body modders. Will often tattoo or pierce themselves impulsively. When wounded, will openly speculate about how they might manipulate the wound to heal in some cool-looking way.
Three
- Cowardice is a virtue. Only a buffoon wouldn’t try to escape death by any means necessary. Offer violence only when you have overwhelming force, or using hit-and-run tactics.
- The use of metal tools is deeply contrary to their spiritual beliefs. They are profoundly offended by anyone displaying worked metal, and at the very best, will treat them with the contempt due to a heathen non-believer.
- Speak only in a sing-song. Rhyme as often as they can.
- Animal slavery is an abhorrent practice to them. Only soulless brutes would ever bind an animal, or bend it to their will.
- Will obey the will of any cat.
- Observe a complex code of etiquette which no one not raised among them could ever hope to adhere to. Would agree with the phrase “Killing a person is no excuse for being rude to them.”
- Do not use any footwear themselves, but find it to be a fascinating adaptation of other cultures. Can be used as a kind of currency among their people. Will be intensely interested in acquiring the shoes and boots of anyone they meet.
- Due to some ancient insult, these creatures loathe wizards. Wizards know what they did. And, indeed, any magic users present do know. Talking about it will only enrage these creatures more, even if making an apology.
- The most popular sport among them is competitive water diverting. They shift the course of rivers and compete in both time taken, and style points.
- Every one of them thinks they’re a comedian. They enable one another with endless, grating laughter over the dumbest jokes.
Four
- Intensely sexual. Will probably invite you to an orgy. If you get into a fight with them, no matter who wins, they’re going to enjoy it in ways that make you uncomfortable.
- Are currently on a scavenger hunt. They need a leaf with 6 points, a rock that looks like it has a face, the ear of a sentient creature, and something pink.
- Do a lot of weird drugs, and will probably do more of them during any encounter.
- Believe that boats are a crime against nature. If the gods had intended folk to float upon the water, they’d have made us more like ducks.
- It is an accepted fact that only they, and other members of their species, are really ‘real.’ Everything and everyone outside of them is a fiction, which exists only to make their lives more interesting.
- Highly secretive about their own existence. Anyone who knows of them must somehow be prevented from spreading that knowledge. Some are held captive for the rest of their lives, others are merely discredited so no one will believe them, still others are simply killed.
- Generally a brusque people. However, if they decide to kill you, they will first invite you to share a meal and conversation with them. It’s only proper to get to know someone whose life you will end.
- Are voluntarily carnivorous as a society, having decided that it is completely unethical to eat any plant-based foods.
- The goddess of fortune is their most culturally significant deity. They believe that any decision left to chance will result in the most harmony with the cosmic plan. Though, they do not consider it wrong to make decisions for yourself. It is an understandably selfish thing to do. Only the most devout would allow themselves to come to serious harm simply to satisfy the cosmic plan.
- Have a rigid warrior culture that prizes honor above all things.