Magical Marvels 31: Getting Weird with the Classics 3

Cat-Bag-5This shit is way too entertaining to ever stop doing it. Same thing as last time. Three randomly determined magic items from the AD&D Dungeon Master’s Guide. One roll on the rings table, two rolls on the miscellaneous tables. The items are modified to suit my own sensibilities. This isn’t an attempt to “update” or “fix” anything, since none of them are broken. They’re just not my style.

Ring of Spell Turning

This ring distorts the three normal dimensions with respect to magic spells directed at its wearer. Any spell cast at an individual will usually rebound, in part or perhaps in whole, upon the spell caster. The distance between, and area occupied by, the victim (the ring wearer) and the spell caster are not as they seem when the magic activates the spell turning ring.

Ring of Spell Divergence

Spells cast by, or at, the wearer of this ring have something like the opposite of their intended effect. These aberrant magics are conjured from the imagination of the referee on the spot, and he or she bears no responsibility for making these new spells any better or worse than the originals. The ring is no guarantee of safety from magic, and the wearer takes full responsibility for the risks of wearing it.

Whatever illogical weirdness the referee comes up with when pressured to invent a new spell on the spot is unassailable law. They are not bound to remember precedent, or make their aberrant spells consistent in any way. The spells produced in the spur of the moment may or may not be available to be researched on their own in the game world, determined by the referee on a case by case basis.

Any attempt to argue with the referee, even to simply suggest a more reasonable ‘opposite’ spell effect, causes the ring to explode and take the wearer’s entire hand with it. Any anachronisms in the referee’s thinking on this subject are not a bug. They are a feature. They are the infinite impossibilities of magic folding backwards onto themselves, and producing something spontaneous, and terrifyingly beautiful.

Thus “Fireball” may become “Water Cube.” Or it may trap you inside a giant hamster ball of fire. Or it may force you to sing Katy Perry’s “Firework,” replacing the titular word with “Fireball.” Every referee will come up with a different way to reverse any given spell. The wearer must hope that these will work out in their favor more often than not.

Bag of Tricks

As is usual, a bag of tricks appears to be a typical size for sacks, and visual or other examination will not reveal any contents. However, if an individual reaches inside, her or she will feel a small, fuzzy object. If this is withdrawn and tossed 1′ to 20′ away, it will balloon into one of the following animals, which will obey and fight for the individual who brought it into being until the current combat terminates. The animals inside a bag of tricks are dependent upon which sort of bag is found. Roll 1d10 to determine which type.

(Type 1: weasel, skunk, badger, wolf, Giant Lynx, Wolverine, Boar, Giant Stag. Type 2: Rat, Owl, Dog, Goat, Ram, Bull, Bear, Lion, Type 3: Jackal, Eagle, Baboon, Ostrich, Leopard, Jaguar, Buffalo, Tiger)

Only 1 creature can be drawn forth at a time. It alone exists until it is slain or 1 turn has elapsed and it is ordered back into the back of tricks. Another animal may then be brought forth, but it could be another just like the one which was drawn previously. Note that only one roll is made for type of bag, but type of creature is rolled for each time one is drawn forth. up to 10 creatures maximum may be drawn from the bag each week.

For real, the Bag of Tricks is already pretty weird. I could easily see myself including this in a game nearly as-is, with only a few minor tweaks. Perhaps you’d need to coax an animal into the bag before it could be pulled out. But that isn’t really worth writing up, so I’m gonna jump a little off base with this one.

Cat in a Bag

A small burlap sack with a cat inside of it, closed tight with a knotted drawstring. The cat doesn’t particularly like being inside the bag, but it’s content enough that it doesn’t struggle or mewl constantly. It doesn’t need to be fed, but it can be harmed by attacks or by drowning, so some care must be taken to protect the bag.

Anytime the cat is let out of the bag, it will brush up against someone’s legs before running off to enjoy its temporary freedom. That person must reveal the most relevant secret they have. Whatever it is that they would most wish to keep hidden from the people who will hear them speak, is exactly what they must now reveal.

When the bag is opened, the owner should indicate a target to the cat. This cat is unusually obedient, so there is a fully 60% chance it will brush up against the indicated target’s legs. Otherwise, the cat’s target should be randomly determined from among everyone in the room, including the owner of the bag.

If the person has no obviously important secret to reveal, roll 1d6 to determine an appropriate sort of secret.

  1. The cat’s target must reveal a major crime which those present will want to punish them for committing.
  2. The cat’s target must reveal a minor crime which those present will want to prosecute them for committing.
  3. The cat’s target must reveal a shameful indiscretion from their past, which will alienate those around them.
  4. The cat’s target must reveal a taboo and disgusting preference, which will alienate them from those around them.
  5. The cat’s target must admit that they changed their identity, and provide a new name and 1-3 sentence backstory.
  6. The cat’s target must admit that they secretly produce embarrassingly bad art under a pseudonym.

Anytime the cat is let out of the bag, it will take some time to find the cat. There is a 1-in-6 chance of encountering it each hour the players spend in the same area if they are not specifically looking for it. A 3-in-6 chance per hour if they are specifically looking for it. Once found it can be reliably coaxed back into the back with 10 minutes of effort and a ration’s worth of food.

Javelin of Piercing

This weapon is not actually hurled, as when a command word is spoken, the Javelin of Piercing launches itself. Range is 6″, all distancves considered as short rangte. The javelin is +6 “to hit” and inflicts 7-12 hit points of damage. (Note this missile will fly horizontally, verticvally, or any combination thereof to the full extent of its range.) From 2-8 will be found. The magic of the javelin is good for only 1 throw.

The Snapshot Musket

For most magic items, ownership and possession are functionally the same thing. However, very nearly the whole point of the Snapshot Musket is to get other people to use it. Thus, ownership is granted to whomever most recently held the rifle while being fully cognizant of its magical properties.

The musket does not stand out among other weapons of its kind. It is a battered thing. Functional, but not beautiful. Any time the owner snaps their fingers, the weapon will fire. It does so whether or not it is loaded.

If the barrel pointed at a target, attack rolls are made normally without any bonuses or penalties. If the barrel is resting directly against something, a hit is automatic. If the barrel is not directed towards anything in particular, it probably won’t hit anything, but the referee may choose a random target at their discretion.

In any event, a gun going off unintentionally will certainly startle its wielder, and probably anyone nearby. The shot will be audible from a significant distance, and may attract unwanted attention.

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One thought on “Magical Marvels 31: Getting Weird with the Classics 3”

  1. I had a similar idea to your bag, but it was the Bag of Keetoom – much like the Bag of Tricks, but, once per turn, the holder may withdraw one (live, purring) kitten from the bag. ALL are damn adorable.

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