Colorful Characters 24: Kringular Clawfist

Santa The Barbarian Comic Cover
Santa the Barbarian comic book cover, from Maximum Press

(Fun story: I made this stat block for Christmas 2011, but I didn’t get around to writing the backstory until after Christmas, so I decided to put it off for a year.)

Kringular Clawfist is one of the last truly immortal elves. Most others have long since left the mortal realm to explore other planes, or died through conflict. But Kringular has always been different. His great passion, which he never tired of in countless millenia, was family. The elf fathered many children, and loved them dearly throughout their whole lives. But long lived as elves are, none of Kringular’s children could truly be immortal as he was. Over tens of thousands of years, Kringular watched each of his children die in turn. At first he sought to find solace in his younger offspring, but they to would eventually grow old and die. To a true immortal like himself, even a hundred thousand years seemed a pitifully short time to live.

Driven mad with grief, Kringular came to believe that life was meaningless. If it has an end, what point can there be? Existence was a cruel joke played by cruel gods who wished to give the short lived a glimpse of something beautiful so just so they could take it away. And Kringular was their audience. Forced to watch the same joke repeat over and over again.

He could not bear it. He would not allow the gods their cruelty. Kringular swore an oath to end every life in defiance of the gods. For tens of thousands of years he has worked to keep that oath, walking at random, killing every living creature he encounters, and thinking it a kindness. He has become completely irrational in his quest, unable to comprehend that others may value their short lives. In his view, they have been fooled.

In quiet moments, Kringular makes toys as he once did for his children. It’s doubtful that his conscious mind is even aware of the act. He merely fiddles with the construction in his hands while he walks, or sits staring blankly ahead. He never looks at his work, and the moment a toy is completed he immediately drops it to the ground and begins another.

Kringular Clawfist (CR 6)
XP: 3,200
Male Elven Barbarian 7
CE medium humanoid
Init +2; Senses Perception +14, Low Light Vision


AC 19, Flat Footed 14, Touch 15 [10 + Armor(5) + Dex(3) + Dodge(1)] (add +2 against traps) (Cannot be caught flat footed or flanked.)
hp 71 (7d12 + 21)
dr 1/-
Immunities Sleep effects
Fort +8 Ref +4 (+6 against traps) Will +4 (+6 v. Enchantments)


Speed 45ft
Melee Heavy Warhammer +13/8 (2d6 +6/x3)


Str 17 (+3) Dex 14 (+2) Con 17 (+3) Int 14 (+2) Wis 14 (+2) Cha 15 (+2)
Base Atk +7/2; CMB +10; CMD 22
Feats Extra Rage, Dodge, Fleet, Skill Focus (Stealth)
Skills Climb (+13), Handle Animal (+12), Craft(Toys) (+12), Perception (+14), Ride (+12), Stealth (+12), Survival (+12)
Languages Common, Elven
–Rage (25 Rounds/Day):
+4 to Str and Con, +2 to Will Saves, -2 AC
Rage Power(No Escape): Can move double-speed as an immediate action if opponent attempts withdraw action. Must end move adjacent to the enemy which withdrew.
Rage Power(Night Vision): Has Darkvision up to 60ft while raging.
Rage Power(Knockback): 1/round, may make a bull rush attempt in place of a melee attack. If successful, the target takes damage equal to Kringular’s Strength modifier, and is moved back as normal. Kringular does not need to move with the target, nor does this provoke an attack of opportunity.
Gear +3 Heavy Warhammer, +2 Studded Leather Armor, Belt of Displacement, Boots of Easy Passage, Gloves of Flight, Great Bag of Holding, 1,500 gold pieces, innumerable toys.

Item Descriptions

Belt of Displacement Allows Kringular to pass through solid objects such as walls or floors at will. Activating this ability is a standard action.
Boots of Easy Passage Allows Kringular to cast gaseous form as the spell at will.
Gloves of Flight Allow Kringular to cast Flight as the spell at will.
Great Bag of Holding is a bag of holding which holds a potentially limitless amount of items. Only Kringular can use this item without being encumbered. Even a horse, or cart, or giant would find itself struggling to hold the heavy object.

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4 thoughts on “Colorful Characters 24: Kringular Clawfist”

  1. I love badass Santas, and this one definitely has the saddest backstory. I like the fey origin, kinda like a fat, vengeful Elrond. This makes me really wanna go see Rise of the Guardians!

    1. I’ve always found badass Santas to be goofy*, but tabletop GMs seem to have a strange, unspoken tradition of making Santa into a villain for their players to kill. So this is part of that. x’D

  2. Yeesh, that’s a pretty rough backstory he’s got going on there LS. I like it though.. I wonder if he’d be the kind of badass to have little minions.

    I was thinking imps like Pain and Panic ala Disney’s Hercules.. with so much Badass Quotient this Santa needs some comic relief. XD

    1. I think he would kill any minions, though.

      Maybe there could be a pair of imps who take on the form of elven children and constantly taunt him, thus driving his rage?

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