1d100 Payments

giphyMoney may not always be sufficient for the goods or services that the players want. Extraordinary desires can only be satisfied by extraordinary payments.

Not every payment here will be suitable for every situation, so feel free to re-roll if the payment doesn’t fit your needs. On the other hand, don’t be afraid to massage your situation a bit to make an interesting payment type work.

Many of the payments listed below can work on several different levels. For example, if the roll indicates that the creditor wants a pig, that can mean a lot of things. They may want any pig, or they may want some specific pig which they are covetous of. They may want a pig of a certain quality, or the may want to force the indebted to experience what it is like to lose a pig, for some unknowable purpose. My point being: none of the payments should be taken simply as they are written. There is room for a bit of creativity with them.

  1. The indebted character must surrender a pound of flesh to their creditor. They may opt to take the flesh from anywhere they like, but regardless of where it is taken from, it will likely result in some degree of physical disability, determined by the referee. A chunk from a leg might result in slower movement speeds, a chunk from the torso might lower constitution, etc.
  2. The creditor requires the indebted’s soul. The consequences of soul loss must be determined by the referee. A reduced, or no response to clerical magics, a certainty of an unpleasant afterlife, a reduced ability to resist mind-affecting magics…many things might be said to be possible only through the benefit of a soul.
  3. The creditor requires a soul. It does not need to be any particular soul. In most cases, souls must be offered willingly, and the indebted may find themselves offering faustian bargains to others. The referee may also allow some means of forcibly extracting or binding a soul for this purpose. Souls can also be purchased from creatures of the lower planes, though these do not come cheap. Nor will their cost be measured in currency.
  4. The indebted must surrender one of their fingers. Assuming it’s the first one, they can probably get away with just one of their pinkies. There’s no penalty for that! Eventually, though, missing fingers start to add up.
  5. The indebted must endure the removal of one of their eyes as payment. They take a significant penalty to making ranged attacks.
  6. The indebted must be scalped. The process is immensely painful, and a severe shock to the system, reducing the indebted to a mere 1d4 hit points. Their hair never really grows back properly.
  7. 1d4 pints of the indebted’s blood are required. A loss of 1 may be fairly negligible. 2 will be a severe shock to the system. Any more than that will reduce the indebted to 1 hit point, and they will be unable to adventure for 3 or 4 weeks.
  8. The indebted must provide a sample of their reproductive legacy: either an egg, or some of their semen. (In the former case, some means of extraction will need to be provided). Presumably, whomever wants this has a way of making use of it.
  9. The indebted must seek out and retrieve a particular rare plant, which is an essential ingredient in some recipe their creditor wishes to prepare.
  10. The indebted must surrender one of their secrets. Incidental secrets will not do. They cannot reveal their mother’s maiden name, or any other fact which is not known simply because no one cares to know it. The secret provided must be something which would be damaging to the indebted if it became known. One example would be a shameful thing that would ruin the character’s reputation. (Players may opt to create a shameful backstory detail for their character if they wish). Another option is something which the character benefits from exclusive knowledge of: such as a spell or technique, the hiding place of a treasure horde, or even a piece of blackmail the character is using against an NPC.
  11. The indebted must subject themselves to torture, and allow the creditor to extract their suffering from them via a strange apparatus.
  12. The creditor has fallen in love with a particular person, who does not love them back. The indebted must make that person fall in love with their creditor. Or, if all else fails, kidnap that person and bring them to the creditor, who will hold them hostage until Stockholm syndrome sets in.
  13. The indebted must surrender a loved one to their creditor. It’s unclear what happens to this loved one, they may be killed, or enslaved, or experimented on, but regardless of the specifics, they will be taken from their normal life and put to some use deemed appropriate by the creditor. In this instance, not just any person will do. It must be someone the indebted cares deeply about. The creditor may have a means by which to verify this.
  14. The creditor wishes to be paid in slaves. They may come from anywhere, but must be of good quality: strong, attractive, capable, and able to understand a language the creditor speaks. Not so young or so old as to be useless.
  15. The indebted must betray an existing trust, perhaps with a friendly NPC, or a member of the party. There may, or may not be a specific sort of betrayal required, but in either case it must be significant enough to destroy the indebted’s relationship with that person.
  16. The indebted must violate some vow which they had previously taken upon themselves. The vow may be religious, contractual, filial, et al. If the character is not currently subject to such a vow, they may be given the opportunity to go make a vow.
  17. The indebted must gain the trust of a person specified by their creditor. Once they’ve successfully become close with that person, they are obligated to betray them in some specific manner.
  18. The indebted must relinquish their right to seek justice for some wrongdoing. This may be a past wrongdoing–such as the murder of the character’s mother which has driven them to adventure–or it may be a future wrongdoing, anticipated by their creditor. In either case, the indebted cannot pursue either legal or vigilante justice for that specific wrong.
  19. The creditor wants the indebted’s voice. Obviously, once it is taken, the indebted will be unable to speak. Furthermore, the creditor may use their acquired voice in any number of ways.
  20. The Indebted must surrender their first born child. If they already have children, this must be done immediately. If they do not, they may or may not be expected to make an immediate effort to produce a child.
  21. At a future time of the creditor’s choosing, the indebted will be require to take no action. Most likely, the inaction of the indebted will cause some preventable ill to occur.
  22. Credit for one of the indebted’s accomplishments must instead be given to the creditor. It may be a past or a future accomplishment, and the transfer of credit may be either mundane (It was not I who slew the dragon. It was Dave!), or it may be magical (Everybody just remembers that it was Dave who slew the dragon the whole time).
  23. The indebted must surrender all of their weapons to the creditor. It does not matter whether they are special or not, so long as it is every weapon the indebted currently has access to.
  24. The creditor demands a vow of of nonviolence from the indebted, which will last for 1d4 (1-2. Days, 3-5. Weeks, 6. Months).
  25. The indebted must perform an assassination against a target of the creditor’s choosing.
  26. The indebted must agree to become the template for a clone, or group of clones, which will serve the will of their creditor.
  27. The creditor wishes to implant a device in the indebted’s eyes. This device will allow the creditor to record and review anything that the eyes see, for the rest of the indebted’s life.
  28. The creditor requires a new color. This may be as simple as procuring a rare kind of paint, or it may entail visiting other realities where colors exist which remain unimagined by mortal mind.
  29. The debt cannot be resolved until the indebted produces a new kind of music for their creditor. It must be wholly original to the creditor’s experience, which may be more or less difficult depending on the creditor’s musical experience. For some fat king who never leaves his hall, this may be as simple as bringing them folk music, archaic forms of music, or music from a far off land. For more musically experienced creditors, the indebted may need to invent Rock & Roll or something.
  30. The indebted must produce the solution to some mathematical problem. Unless the character is unusually skilled with math, it’s unlikely they will be able to find the solution simply by solving the problem themselves. They will either need to embark on a great mathematical study (Treat as a Math skill starting at 0-in-6, with 1 attempt allowed each time a new point is put into the skill), or they must find someone capable of the task to do it for them.
  31. The indebted must make a vow to uphold some noble ideal (Honesty, Justice, Chivalry, etc.)
  32. The indebted must make a vow to always subvert some noble ideal (Honesty, Justice, Chivalry, etc.)
  33. The creditor wants a spell. If the indebted is a spellcaster, they can simply allow their creditor to copy down one of theirs. If they are not a spellcaster, they will need to acquire a spell elsewhere.
  34. The indebted must sacrifice the lives of one of their companions. They may choose who, so long as it is someone who is currently traveling with them. If needed, they must be willing to assist their creditor in the murder.
  35. The creditor wants the storytelling rights to the indebted’s life. Shortly after this deal is struck, population centers will begin to be flooded with dimestore novels about the indebted’s various experiences and adventures. Enough about the particulars will be changed that no one will believe the Indebted if they try to point this out. If the indebted attempts to share any of their own experiences outside of intimate conversation, they will promptly be sued for infringing on their creditor’s intellectual property.
  36. The indebted must become a thrall to their creditor. The next time they would gain a level in their class, they instead gain a level in the Thrall of [Creditor] class. They gain 1d4 hit points, and must work exclusively to further their creditor’s will until they gain enough money to level up again. Since they will not be paid for their work as a thrall, they will need to hoard money in secret in order to level.
  37. The indebted must provide their creditor with hostages, to be held in security against any future reneging on the agreement between the two.
  38. The indebted must serve as a human subject for some experiment their creditor wishes to perform.
  39. The creditor is currently suffering under a curse, which can only be alleviated if someone (the indebted) accepts that same curse onto themselves.
  40. The indebted must trade bodies with their creditor.
  41. The indebted must trade some of their life, rapidly aging a few years in order to keep their creditor young.
  42. The indebted must surrender one of their senses: (1: Sight, 2: Smell, 3: Hearing, 4: Taste). Once lost, the indebted will no longer be able to perform any actions which require this sense. If their lost ability is restored to them, it will be taken back from whomever is using it, and the indebted will be considered a thief. (Though there may be some way to gain a new sense).
  43. The creditor requires the indebted’s essence! The referee should roll the creditor’s ability scores if they haven’t. Compare these to the scores of the indebted. Randomly pick one score which the creditor has which is lower than the one the indebted has. The creditor wants to switch that score. If the indebted doesn’t have any higher scores, then they have nothing of value to offer the creditor, and cannot do business with them.
  44. The creditor demands some large number of foreskins, collected by the indebted. (Don’t look at me, this shit’s biblical. First Samuel, 18:25).
  45. The indebted must provide a boxed sample of their feces to their creditor. It’s unclear what they do with it, but apparently the indebted got off pretty easily. (Alright…I can’t blame the bible for this one.)
  46. The indebted must carry a message on their creditor’s behalf. The journey will not be easy, and should require at least a little adventuring. If the referee wants to rub a little salt in the wound, the message can be something completely trivial.
  47. The creditor requires a large amount of some specific trade good–flour, sugar, copper, lumber, etc. They will not accept the money required to buy what they need. They want it personally delivered by the indebted.
  48. The creditor requires a large delivery of military equipment. Armor, shields, weapons, enough to outfit a small army at least. They may even require experienced soldiers who can drill up new recruits.
  49. The indebted must deliver a massive quantity of foodstuffs. Quality and variety may vary, depending on the creditor’s requirements. There must be enough to feed a group all through the winter and summer.
  50. The indebted must deliver a map of an area which has not yet been explored, or which is kept secret.
  51. The indebted must never return to some place, ever again. This may be the town or country they are currently in, or some other place: their homeland, the territory of their creditor’s enemies or rivals, the territory of their creditor’s friends, etc.
  52. The indebted must accept the blame for something which is not their fault, allowing themselves to be scapegoated.
  53. The indebted must accept responsibility for some child, raising them as if they were the indebted’s own kin.
  54. The creditor will only accept the currency of some ancient civilization, which has not existed for eons.
  55. The indebted must give up their name. In doing so, any possible connection between their person and that name will be cosmically severed. Any legal documents which reference the indebted–such as deeds or contracts–will be rendered void. The indebted will also lose any reputation they had, as they can no longer be associated with what people have heard about them. They may choose a new name for themselves if they wish.
  56. The indebted must give up their ability to walk. Their legs will be sturdy enough to stand on, but the moment they try to move, they will collapse onto the ground.
  57. The creditor demands a poem, written and performed by the player.
  58. The indebted must vow to perform some great deed in their creditor’s name, eschewing any glory they might win for themselves on that occasion.
  59. The creditor must have an accurate prediction of the future. If the players are clever, they may say something like “the sun will rise tomorrow.” Barring some apocalyptic issue, this sort of answer will be acceptable to the creditor. Players may also attempt to find a reliable fortune teller, which can accomplish the same thing. If the prediction the indebted provides does not come true, their creditor will become angry, and put a price on their head.
  60. The indebted must provide their creditor with a certain value worth of items suitable for a magic lab.
  61. The indebted must seek out a magic staff for their creditor. It may be a specific staff, a specific type of staff, or just any staff in general.
  62. The creditor is a Bonemeister, and only accepts the bones of the indebted as payment. They are an expert at surgically extracting the bones, slicing their creditor open, carefully detaching all of the ligaments, and sewing the incision back up. When they’re done, it will be as if the bones simply teleported out of the indebted’s body, leaving part of them a bit floppy, but otherwise unharmed. Which specific bones the bonemeister requires will be negotiated in advance. The penalties for lacking those bones will be determined by the referee.
  63. The creditor want to be killed, and the indebted must do it. The creditor has wanted to die for a long time, but no one has yet been able to do it. When they are in danger, the creditor turns into a fearsome monster.
  64. The indebted must willingly agree to have an explosive device implanted into their brains. The creditor is happy to offer their services for free, but only if they can ensure that the indebted is incapable of ever working against them in the future.
  65. The creditor wishes to be entertained by a dance, which the player must perform for their group. A vote of the party will determine if the dance was sufficient for whatever purchase is being made.
  66. The indebted must seek out a true story or folk myth, and bring a full recounting of it back to their creditor. The creditor will then turn this story into a novel.
  67. The indebted must keep a steady watch over their creditor’s home for one night, defending it against the evils which will arise.
  68. The indebted must work towards some socially laudable goal within a specified kingdom. Something on the level of establishing gender or racial equality, raising the standard of living for the working class, etc.
  69. The creditor recently promised to grant someone’s wish. The indebted is tasked with ensuring that wish does come true.
  70. In indebted must make their creditor laugh.
  71. The indebted must give up their next critical hit, which will instead be a critical failure. The fortune of the critical hit will be transferred to their creditor.
  72. The indebted must provide a chunk of their brain. Not a big chunk, just a bit the size of a peanut. None the less, losing this chunk removes some knowledge from the indebted. Roll 1d6: (1-3. 1d2 Intelligence, 4-5. 1d2 Wisdom, 6. A point from a randomly determined skill.)
  73. The creditor wants an irreplaceable family heirloom from the indebted. Any object will do, regardless of value, so long as it is precious to its owner (whomever that may be).
  74. The indebted must provide the keys to their home, as well as any future keys which may result from moving or changing locks. The creditor is to have unfettered access to the indebted’s abode.
  75. The creditor wants a document, or other item, which would provide them with some kind of dynastic claim.
  76. The indebted must provide accurate and detailed information on the tactics of an enemy army, or, diagrams for an enemy stronghold or weapon.
  77. The creditor wants a letter of recommendation from the indebted.
  78. The indebted must agree to leave a certain location, person, or group alone. They cannot be pestered, regardless of the indebted’s needs.
  79. The creditor requires sanctuary from the indebted. They must be allowed to live on the indebted’s lands, and be protected from any and all forces which would threaten them.
  80. The indebted must provide a body part from a specific creature which will be difficult to hunt.
  81. The creditor wishes to know the location of an upcoming secret meeting. The indebted must find out, and provide it to their creditor, with enough time for the creditor to make arrangements either to spy on, or to ambush the meeting.
  82. The creditor demands a marriage take place between their family, and the indebted’s.
  83. The indebted must throw a sporting match in which they are favored to win. If they aren’t favored to win in any current sporting matches, they must enter a sport and achieve some note within it before their debt can be paid.
  84. The indebted must infiltrate some specified group and ferret out their secrets for the creditor.
  85. The indebted must find some way to drum up business for their creditor’s business venture.
  86. The indebted must allow their creditor to use their body while they sleep. Each morning, the indebted will awake within 1 mile of where they went to sleep. Sometimes they may have injuries, or be covered in someone else’s blood. They will not know what they did the night before.
  87. The creditor will establish some set amount of time. During that period, some or all of the experience points gained by the indebted will instead be gained by the creditor. To determine how much XP the creditor takes, roll 1d4 and multiply it by 25%.
  88. The indebted must contract a disease, which their creditor may or may not be able to provide. The creditor wishes to examine the progress of this disease in detail.
  89. The indebted must allow their body to host some parasite, which will constantly make suggestions within their brain, and may potentially even be able to influence their actions more directly.
  90. The indebted must offer themselves as host to a spirit. While possessed, they will be able to see what their body is doing, but will have no control over it. The possession will last until the spirit has finished what it left undone in life. What that is, is left to the referee to decide.
  91. The creditor wants 1d2 limbs from the indebted. They are prepared to safely remove these limbs, which they may attach to themselves, or use for some other insidious purpose. If only 1 limb is required, it may be either an arm or a leg at the referee’s preference. If 2 are required, it will be both one arm, and one leg.
  92. Someone the creditor cares about (perhaps even themselves) requires an organ transplant. Something which the body has two of, and which the indebted can live without. Something like a lung, or a bit of liver. The indebted has been determined to be a match for whomever needs this bit of guts, and must undergo the procedure to have it removed.
  93. The creditor is facing an issue in their lives, and needs someone to provide them with good advice. Whether the advice is good depends on how well their situation turns out when they follow it.
  94. The creditor requires that the indebted make a lifebond with them. Whenever the creditor takes damage, they will be healed by draining vitality from the indebted. Fortunately, the creditor lives a simple life. Anytime the indebted would be healed up to full, they instead are 1d6 – 2 hit points lower than their max.
  95. The indebted must donate their body to necromancy. The creditor will place a vile mark upon their body. When they die, the mark will automatically animate their body, which will then move with all haste to the creditor, so that it may be used in necromantic rituals. This prevents the indebted from ever being resurrected if they die.
  96. The indebted must perform a sacrilege, offending some certain god against which their creditor has enmity.
  97. The indebted must humiliate themselves in some fashion. In some cases this may merely be for the private enjoyment of their creditor. However, in most cases, their humiliation will need to be a public spectacle, severely damaging their reputation.
  98. The creditor, or someone whom the creditor likes, is currently due some punishment. The indebted must suffer this punishment in that person’s place. This may mean time spent in the pillory or dungeon, it may be torture, military service, or possibly even death. 
  99. The indebted must lie to someone who will trust them, misleading that person into making a bad decision, or thinking an issue has been taken care of when it actually hasn’t.
  100. The creditor is in a wonderful mood today, and will forgo any payment from the indebted. The simple act of helping is enough satisfaction for them.

As a closing note, I just want to point out that this is the single most challenging d100 table I’ve ever written. I’ve been tinkering with it on-and-off since early 2016. I don’t know if the time investment paid off, but if you like the amount of work I put into these posts, consider supporting me on Patreon. It goes a long way towards helping my writing along.

Guns in ORWA

Saturday Morning GunsAs I’ve discussed before, my ORWA campaign was meant to be a very standard fantasy game, with a post apocalyptic paint job. It’s only because the players managed to join a secret society of technologists, called The Internet, that I was thrust into the position of creating a more Sci-Fi world.

None the less, guns are heavily restricted. The players are meant to be relying on swords and bows, so I’ve made a point of keeping guns rare. The only way they can enter the game is during a Haven Turn, when there is a 2-in-6 chance that the Internet  has managed to find & repair a gun. When this happens, the gun is put up on eBay, where any member of the Internet can claim it. The cost is always exorbitant, to the point that players will usually need to pool their resources in order to afford it.

But after 14 months of running this game, with my players approaching level 9, that scarcity has begun to break down. Which is appropriate, the game should change as you reach higher levels. Nowadays, each player is wealthy enough that even the most expensive guns can be quickly snapped up. And there have been enough of the gun auctions that the party has quite the private arsenal on their hands. Not enough to equip every hireling, but certainly enough that every PC has a gun, or even two.

Because the game’s setting has a Saturday Morning Sci-Fi flavor, I like to get creative with the guns. They’re not normal equipment, after all. They’re more like magic items, which should have special abilities, and little peculiarities to keep them interesting.

So, seeing as I’ve now written this arsenal of ORWA guns, I figured I may as well share it.

The Spandau (Inspired by stories I’ve heard from WW2)
A fast-firing machine gun with poor accuracy. The Spandau attacks everything within a 10’x10′ hit box. Those within its area of effect must make a saving throw versus Breath, with a bonus of +2 to their save for each increment of 30′ away they are from their attacker. On a failed save, they take 2d4 damage. On a successful save, they take no damage.

Regardless of success or failure, any creature within the hit area must also check morale at a penalty of 2. On failure, they will dive for the nearest cover. They will not necessarily attempt to remove themselves from combat, but will move only very cautiously.

The Spandau and its ammo box are separate encumbering items. Each time the weapon is fired, roll 1d6. If a 1 is rolled, the ammo box is almost depleted and can be fired only once more before it is empty. Ammo boxes are sold for 50cc by The Internet.

The Uzi (Inspired by most video games where there are Uzis)
A weapon which fires so quickly it can be easy to run out of ammunition without even realizing it. Before making their attack roll, a player should announce how many d6s of damage they are going to deal. They can choose as few as 1, and as many as 6.

After their attack roll, whether it is a hit or a miss, they should roll a d6. If they roll equal to or lower than the number of damage dice they had announced, then they’ve used up their current ammo clip.

Each spare ammo clip the character carries is an encumbering item. They cost 50cc, and are sold by The Internet.

The Grappling Gun (Inspired by Batman: The Animated Series)
A small weapon, the size of a flare gun, with a folded grapnel protruding from the end of the barrel. When the trigger is pulled, the grapnel will launch out of the barrel, trailing a cord created by a liquid, micro-filament cartridge. When the trigger is released, the rope retracts into the gun, returning to a compressed liquid form, and pulling the wearer up to wherever the grapnel hooked to.

If time is passing in exploration turns, a grapple can be assumed on any location up to 25 stories high. If time is being measured in rounds, a hit roll is required. The armor rating of the shot is 1, per story of the target. (So, a 12 story building would have an Armor of 12 for this purpose).

If the gun is used to create a zipline, the grapnel and micro-filament rope may not be recoverable. In this instance, new ones may be purchased for 25cc.

The Auto-Crossbow (Inspired by a YouTube video)
Weaker than a standard crossbow, but that deficiency is compensated for by the sheer volume of bolts it can put out each round.

The wielder can make 3 attack rolls each round, which each deal 1d4 damage on a successful hit. Unlike normal crossbows, these do not ignore any amount of defenses from armor. After each round of fire, the wielder must roll 1d6. On a 1, the weapon is either out of ammo, or it has become jammed. They must spend 1 round reloading/clearing it before they can fire again.

(The Auto-Crossbow is not actually a gun. It was created by a player using the Tinker skill, after he found the above-linked YouTube video in an old archive. None the less, it seems an appropriate inclusion here.)

The Lasorator (Inspired by Star Trek)
An advanced weapon with many settings. Before making each attack roll, the wielder may choose how high the weapon’s energy usage is set. The higher the setting, the more damage is dealt; but also, the more quickly the battery will be drained.

If the weapon is set to deal 1d4 damage, then the player must roll a d12 after they fire. On a roll of 1, the weapon’s energy cell is exhausted. For each higher damage die the wielder sets the weapon to, (1d6, 1d8, 1d10, or 1d12); it has a lower exhaustion die (1d10, 1d8, 1d6, 1d4).

So, if the weapon is set to deal 1d8 damage, it will have a 1d8 exhaustion die. If it’s set for 1d12 damage, it will have a 1d4 exhaustion die, etc.

The Lasorator can be set to “Wide Beam,” which is ineffective in combat, but useful for silently melting barriers. Weak barriers such as glass windows require a d8 exhaustion die. While more robust barriers, such as those made of steel, require a d4 exhaustion die.

The weapon also has a stun setting, which requires the most energy of any of them. On a successful hit, the target must make a saving throw versus Paralyzation. On failure, they fall unconscious. The exhaustion die for the stun setting is 1d2.

Extra power packs for the weapon are encumbering items. They cost 150cc, and can be purchased from the Internet.

The Derringer (Honestly, Inspired by The Simpsons)
A small, easily concealable weapon with two barrels. The derringer deals 1d6 damage at a range of up to 30′. After 30′, attack rolls suffer a -3 penalty. After 60′, the bullets are moving so slowly, they would not cause any harm even if they did hit a person.

After every 2 shots, the derringer must be reloaded (which requires 1 round). Each time the weapon is reloaded, roll a d6. If a 1 is rolled, then the ammo pouch is empty, and the gun cannot be reloaded from it again. Ammo pouches are an encumbering item, and can be purchased for 20cc.

Because the derringer is so easy to conceal, it grants a +1 to any Sleight of Hand checks made with it.

Tranquilizer Pistol (Inspired by Metal Gear Solid)
On a successful hit, targets must make a saving throw versus Poison. On failure, they will fall unconscious after 1d4 – 1 rounds, and will remain unconscious for 1d6 + 2 turns.

Attacks with the Tranquilizier Pistol made from steal receive a +4 bonus to their attack roll. If the attack roll exceeds the target’s armor rating by 6 or more, then the target has been struck in the head or groin, and does not receive any saving throw. Instead, they fall unconscious instantly.

The gun can only hold a single round, and must be reloaded after each use. (As with all guns, reloading requires 1 round). A box of tranquilizer darts has an exhaustion die of 1d4, which should be rolled each time the gun is reloaded.

Some targets may be immune to being tranquilized for a variety of reasons, at the discretion of the referee.

The Bazooka (Inspired by classic FPS games)
A massive weapon which deals 6d6 damage on a successful hit. It ignores most forms of hardness & damage resistance, including personal armor and shields. This allows it to easily blow holes through most walls or floors. However, moving targets gain a bonus of 6 to their armor rating.

Functionally, this means that the base armor for a living target is 18, plus any bonus they may receive from dexterity.

Even if the bazooka misses, however, it will eventually hit something and explode. The referee should determine where this happens to the best of their ability. Anyone adjacent to the explosion must attempt a saving throw versus Breath. On failure, they take half the damage that was rolled. On success, they take only a quarter of the damage.

The bazooka can only hold one shot of ammunition at a time, requiring a reload after each shot. Each shot of ammunition costs 200cc, and counts as an encumbering item.

If the wielder jumps into the air and fires the bazooka directly beneath themselves, they will take 2d6 damage, and be launched high into the air, where they will hopefully find something to grab onto before they plummet back down to earth.

If you found this post useful, or interesting, or entertaining, consider checking out my Patreon campaign! It allows me to focus more of my attentions onto this blog, and also helps me improve the quality of my upcoming work.

Rules for Gobbos

A GobboMy ladyfriend is not much of an RPG person. She enjoys a leisurely evening of D&D, but mostly as a social event. She’ll interject with a bit of goofy role playing now and again, but tends to just follow along with whatever the rest of the party wants to do. I’ve had a lot of people like that in my games over the years. Folks who are there because they enjoy hanging out. Maybe they’re more into the times we get together for board games, or maybe they went along with a significant other at some point, and enjoyed the atmosphere more than they enjoyed the game. Maybe you know someone similar, and maybe if you do, this’ll help you find something enjoyable for them to do.

It started a few years back when my ladyfriend accompanied me to play in a game where I was a 14th level character. She didn’t want to deal with the hassle of creating a high level character, so we got the referee to let her play all four of the Goblins from Paizo’s “We Be Goblins” module: Rita, Mogmurch, Chuffy, and Poog. It all worked out so well that we decided to use the same plan when she joined my ORWA game. But since this is an ongoing campaign, rather than a one-shot, I decided to put a little work into getting the goblins working.

First off, to remain setting consistent, the goblins aren’t goblins. They’re infant children who fell off a babycart (literally a cart where infant children are piled up for sale) and into a puddle of mutagen. This turned them green and gave them weirdly developed bodies, despite their size. They know how to talk, and call themselves Gobbos.

Gobbos can’t die the way normal characters die. They’re not invulnerable to harm, but they react to harm like a Loony Toon character. If a rock falls on them they get flattened, pop back into shape, and then scamper off to cry and lick their wounds until the next session, when they’ll have forgotten anything bad ever happened to them.

Gobbos also don’t get any share of the treasure, or any of the commensurate experience. In fact, Gobbos can’t level up at all. Players who are running the Gobbos will never need to worry about keeping their character sheet up to date, because it’s an (almost) entirely static thing. They also don’t need to worry about how to spend their money, and the other players never get annoyed at splitting their treasure haul with a quartet of characters who don’t contribute on the same level that they do.

(Though it should be noted that Gobbos are children. Sometimes they’ll see something shiny, and insist that it be purchased for them.)

Any time the other players are getting treasure, the Gobbos are free to scrounge around for something more in line with their own interests. The player they rolls on the “Gobbo Junk” table, which can be restocked by the referee as items are discovered.

The Gobbos Find a…

  1. Really really shiny, smooth rock.
  2. Plastic frisbee.
  3. Well used catcher’s mitt.
  4. Curly blonde wig.
  5. Hula hoop.
  6. Pair of boxing gloves.
  7. Basketball.
  8. Bowling ball.
  9. Potted cactus.
  10. Steel folding chair. The kind you find in a church basement, not the kind you find in your dad’s garage.
  11. Stepladder.
  12. Jar with holes poked in the lid, and 12 beetles inside of it.
  13. Metal wastebasket with a mesh pattern.
  14. Porno magazine.
  15. Bag of disposable surgical gloves.
  16. Big bag of candy necklaces.
  17. Rubber mask of Richard Nixon.
  18. Nice-ish briefcase.
  19. Fistful of indistinct sludge.
  20. Ball of twine.
  21. Doorknob.
  22. DD bra.
  23. Box of mousetraps.
  24. Roll of duct tape.
  25. Chair leg.
  26. Banjo with only 1 string on it.
  27. Conical dunce cap.
  28. Box of letters for a marquee style signboard.
  29. Bundle of plastic 6-pack rings.
  30. Paper bag of paper bags.
  31. Plastic bag of plastic bags.
  32. Rubber boot.
  33. Flip phone with plenty of charge, but no service.
  34. Box of paper clips.
  35. RC car.
  36. Barbie doll.
  37. Roll of wrapping paper.
  38. Ceramic cookie jar shaped like a pig wearing a chef’s hat.
  39. Stretch Armstrong doll.
  40. Tiger Electronics “Home Alone 2” tape recorder.
  41. Pair of Handcuffs.
  42. Ball gag.
  43. Flourescent light tube.
  44. Dozen eggs.
  45. Chicken.
  46. Housecat.
  47. Can of spraypaint. Blue.
  48. Disposable polaroid camera.
  49. Propeller beanie.
  50. Plastic toy sword.
  51. Bag of marbles.
  52. Tube of pogs.
  53. Huge bag of rice.
  54. Sleeve of printer paper.
  55. Dead bird.
  56. Dead Dog.
  57. Huge number “8” made of wood.
  58. Tacklebox full of fishing lures and hooks.
  59. Corkscrew.
  60. Pencil sharpener.
  61. Human skull
  62. Stack of newspapers.
  63. Wall clock.
  64. Padlock and key.
  65. Geode with a little pewter wizard inside of it.
  66. Binder with documentation for some kind of software.
  67. Pair of socks.
  68. Pair of nice slacks.
  69. Needle nose pliers.
  70. Standing, oscillating fan.
  71. Elementary school desk/chair combo.
  72. Bouquet of fake flowers.
  73. Bottle of hand sanitizer.
  74. Really neat spider with lots of cool colors on it.
  75. Metal shopping cart.
  76. Labelmaker.
  77. Sheets of scratch & sniff stickers. Of the “Grape Job” variety.
  78. Encyclopedia Britannica volume for the letter “O.”
  79. Catheter bag full of urine.
  80. Police file on someone named “Dave Bestfighter.”
  81. Empty jar labelled “Dreams.”
  82. Glow in the dark ceiling stars.
  83. Bag of party balloons.
  84. Bag of Frozen Peas. Still frozen, somehow.
  85. The poles to a tent.
  86. Baby rattle.
  87. Box of Mike & Ikes candy.
  88. Hand painted portrait of a randomly determined party member.
  89. The discarded highschool poetry of a randomly determined party member.
  90. Big red “Marks-A-Lot” marker.
  91. Yo-yo.
  92. Blender.
  93. Foam Jack-O-Lantern.
  94. Traffic cone.
  95. Box of matches.
  96. Car tire.
  97. Keyring full of keys.
  98. Bottle of really nice wine.
  99. Child’s devil costume for Halloween.
  100. Treasure map, drawn in crayon, to a toystore.

Simple Socializing: The Give & Take System

ParleyNormally I only update the blog once a week. However, thanks to my supporters on Patreon, I can justifiably spend a little more time on this blog than I normally would, which allows me to bring you this bonus post during the first week of each month. If you’d like to see even more posts from me, as well as other improvements to the blog, please consider supporting my Patreon campaign!

I’ve long believed that game rules should devote as much attention to social interaction as they do to combat. A system for impartially determining the action-by-action results of a parley is essential. That’s why I’ve been a proponent of Courtney Campbell’s “On the Non-Player Character,” for years.

But as I approach my 4th year of using this system, it’s time to tinker. The 25 social actions are thorough, and elegant, but I’m slow in using them at the table. Often we will drift off of the system over the course of play, as I try to keep up the pace of a conversation. I decided to simplify the mechanic for ORWA, and I hit on what I call the Give & Take System.

Every conversation is, fundamentally, a process of give and take. Both parties have their views and their preferences, and at any given time one party is getting what they want out of the conversation, and the other party is giving it. Using that model, pretty much every social interaction can be broken down into one of these two groups. (Plus two bonus groups).

The Give & Take System
At the start of a Reaction Roll Tablenonviolent encounter, the player who is taking the lead in speaking makes a reaction roll (2d6 + Charisma modifier). That roll is compared to the reaction table on the right to determine how the NPCs respond. The result also determines how many social interactions the party may attempt, total, before the NPC gets bored of talking and starts wishing they could get out of here. The referee should note this number down in a place visible to the players, if possible.

Every back-and-forth will fall into one of four basic categories: Banal, Give, Take, and Convince. Once an action is resolved, the referee reduces the number of remaining actions by 1. If the players force a conversation to continue past the point that an NPC wishes to leave, their reaction will be reduced by 2 for each round they are kept against their wishes. If their reaction reaches 2, the NPC just walk away in annoyance, possibly raising their arm in a rude gesture as they leave.

Banal: Simple conversation, most questions, and other minutia are banal actions. They have no chance to fail, but don’t really earn the party anything other than information.

Giving: Telling a joke, offering compliments, giving gifts, listening to a person’s long winded opinions; these are all giving actions. A giving action is one whose purpose is to ingratiate the party with the NPC they’re speaking to. When giving, roll 2d6 and add all relevant modifiers:

<6: The NPC is unimpressed.
6: The NPC is enjoying your company, and will stick around a little longer. +2 social actions.
9: The NPC is intrigued by you, and is willing to hear you out. +1 to your next Taking or Convincing attempt.
11: The NPC likes you. +1 to your reaction with this NPC.

Taking: Make a request or a demand, negotiating, offering a bribe, asking questions the NPC may not be inclined to answer; these are all taking actions. Taking is when a conversation turns towards the player’s desires, and what they want to get out of a parley. Generally, if the players would be happy to hear a “yes,” and sad to hear a “no,” it’s a taking action.

<4: The NPC is upset by what you said, and your reaction with them drops by 1 category.
4: The NPC refuses you outright.
6: The NPC will meet you halfway.
9: The NPC agrees to what you want.
11: The NPC agrees, and offers to do a little better than what was asked for.

There are two notable special cases for Taking rolls: Intimidation, and Bribery.

When the players are attempting to Intimidate, the roll should be modified by the difference in average level between the two groups. If the party’s is higher, they recieve a bonus of 1 for each level higher they are. If the party is lower, the recieve a penalty of 1 for each level lower they are.

When the party is attempting a bribe, the Fighter’s experience table should be referenced. The baseline bribe for an NPC is equal to one quarter of the amount it would take to reach their current hit dice if they were a fighter. So a 2HD character, the baseline bribe is 500sp. Increasing or decreasing this amount by 50% will modify the bribe by +/- 2.

Convincing: Telling a lie which the NPC has cause to doubt, or making an argument against something the NPC thinks; are both convincing actions. Convincing is a more challenging form of taking. The primary difference is whether success will effect the NPC beyond the scope of a single exchange. It’s one thing to get a guard to accept a bribe–they can put the money in their pocket and forget they ever saw you. It’s another thing entirely to get them to join the revolution.

<6: The NPC is unhappy with what you’ve said. Reaction drops by 1 category.
6: The NPC is not convinced.
9: The NPC is trepidatious. They will have to think about what you’ve said.
11: The NPC accepts what you said wholeheartedly.

For any of these, situational modifiers of 1 or 2 may occasionally apply. Players who expect something in exchange for nothing should take a penalty to their taking roll; while players who offer a generous sum in exchange for a small concession should get a bonus.

That said, more often than not it’s best to let the dice fall where they may. This allows the referee to discover the character of various NPCs along with the players. The guard who refuses a bribe worth more than he makes in a lifetime must be especially loyal. The guard who joins the revolution on a whim must have some reason to be discontented.

Anyway, that’s Give & Take. I’ve used it in my last few games, and as of this writing it has performed phenomenally well.

 

Methods for Writing d100 Tables

d100 Tables are AwesomeFor the past couple years, I’ve been posting a fair number of d100 tables, because they’re awesome. They’re fun for me to write, useful in play, and people seem to friggin’ love reading them. Each one I write is pretty much guaranteed to spike my site’s traffic, so it’s a win-win-win.

Often, when I upload a new table, I’m getting the same sort of comment. Something in the vein of “I don’t know how you do that, I can barely fill a d12 table!” It’s happened like…twice now, so you’ll have to excuse me if I indulge myself a bit. Being impressive is an unusual feeling, and I’d like to revel in it.  Ego stroking aside, I can understand where these comments are coming from. I will never live down my self-imposed shame from that one time I tried to write a d100 table, and failed so hard that I just published a d50 table instead. Writing up 100 variations on the same theme is hard.

Fortunately, I’ve developed a few techniques to make the process easier on myself. Hopefully these will translate well enough for others to benefit from them as well. If I’m lucky, this post will spawn a whole slew of new d100 tables all across the OSR Blogosphere, and then I can just spend the rest of my gaming career rolling for everything I want.

The first is the simplest: time. I don’t just sit down and write d100 tables. I don’t think that would even be possible for me. They’re written slowly; a few entries here, a few entries there. A quick turnaround on a d100 table would be about 10 days, from start to finish. Those are usually either very simple tables (such as the magic words tables), or something I’m particularly invested when I write them. (d100 wands went pretty quick.)

Most tables require a few months, and there are even some which have been sitting in my drafts folder for more than a year at this point. This is one of the biggest reasons I work to maintain my huge buffer of posts. Back when I was starting out, I didn’t have the luxury of working on projects that required more than an evening to put together. If I started to write something, it had to be done by the end of the night. If it wasn’t, I’d be off my schedule.

Which leads into my second point: I’m not writing these one at a time. As I write this, there are currently fifteen d100 tables in my drafts folder. Some of these have 2 or 3 entries in them. At least one of them already has 100 entries in it. Most fall somewhere in between. At any given time, there are usually 2 or 3 of these tables that I’m actively thinking about, and trying to add a few entries to each day. It’s not until a table is pretty much done that I start to really focus on it. Going back, polishing up what I’ve written, checking for repeats, and getting it out the door.

Which actually leads into my third point: separating brainstorming from writing. The hard part of populating any table is coming up with X number of variations on a theme. Maybe there’s those first 4 or 10 which come easy, but by the time you get to 100 you’ve been all the way to the depths of your creativity and back again. By comparison, turning a single table entry into easy reading is almost rote.

Coming up with ideas, and putting those ideas into words that make sense outside of my own head, are two entirely different mental processes for me. Trying to switch between them over and over again slows my writing down to a crawl. Sometimes I’m tempted to flesh out entries 1-10 while trying to come up with entry 11, but that is a trap. If I ever want to get the thing done, I need to come up with 100 cool ideas first, and only later do I worry about making those 100 cool ideas appealing to read.

Something I do a lot of is standing in front of a whiteboard telling myself how much of a hack piece of shit I am, until something good comes out of me. This is probably the least effective technique I have, but it’s the one I use most frequently. The whiteboard part helps at least. It’s easier to jump from idea to idea when I’m away from a keyboard. Keyboards make me feel a strong need to be more descriptive than necessary.

Probably the best trick I have is the disguised d33 table. This is one I used for “d100 Results of Drug Addled Engineering,” and “d100 Human Beings for Sale.” Basically, before I start working on the 100 entries themselves, I write up a list of 33 subcategories. Each of these categories could theoretically be the theme of their own tables. For example, “A box with a button on it.” That button could do anything.

Once I’ve got my 33, I add each one to my table 3 times. Starting from there, it’s honestly pretty easy to come up with 3 unique variations on each one, which gets me all the way up to 99 entries without breaking a sweat. Entry 100 can then be something big and awesome (like in d100 Humans), or it can just be “roll twice & combine” (like in d100 Drugged Engineering). I suppose if the list is of bad things, you could also switch it around, and make entry 1 spectacularly bad in some way.

A variation of that same idea is the not-so-disguised 10d10 table. As of this writing I haven’t published any tables using this method, but I am using it for d100 Pieces of Dungeon Moon Starting Equipment, which will be posted eventually.

Much like the method above, you start by coming up with some broader ideas (in this case, 10 rather than 33), then you divide your d100 table up into that many chunks, and use those broader ideas to help create the specific entries.

The nice thing about this method is that it makes your work serve multiple purposes. For example, if a player creates a new character, then they’d roll d100 to find out what item they start with. If they then decide they want to find some armor in town before they go out to adventure, the referee can roll a d10 on the “armor” portion of the table.

The benefit of this method is that it allows a referee to roll a d10 on one of those sub tables if it suits their fancy. For my dungeon moon equipment table, maybe the referee doesn’t want to go full random. Maybe he wants to make sure that his players have at least one piece of armor and one weapon before they head out into danger. That’s fine, roll dice that are smaller increments of 10! It’s all good.

Breaking a d100 table down into smaller chunks doesn’t always work, of course. At least, not for me. Take d100 Reasons the Wizard is More than they Seem, or d100 Curses. I could have tried to break these down into smaller groups: curses that afflict your feet, curses that afflict your encumbrance, curses that afflict the player in some meta-game way, etc.  I didn’t do that because it didn’t seem to flow naturally when I was putting those tables together. Maybe these more gonzo themes defy any kind of organization, or maybe that’s just not where my headspace was when I wrote them.

And I think that’s pretty much everything I can think of that makes writing d100 tables more manageable for me. Thank you for supporting my ego trip, it was fun.

 

d100 Human Beings for Sale

301-image-salvation-boulanger-gustave-clarence-rudolphe-the-slave-marketNot every society your players visit will be enlightened on the subject of slavery.

  1. Unduc is a man with an acerbic wit, and no idea of when he ought to shut up. Beatings only shut him up for a short while, which is why he now finds himself up for sale.
  2. Otilda was, until recently, personal handmaiden to a noble lady of some repute. About a month ago, Otilda tripped while carrying a serving tray, which struck her mistress in the face hard enough to leave a scar. Otilda was given a savage beating, had her fingernails pulled out, and was sent to the block to be sold. Despite her disfigurement, Otilda is a skilled attendant.
  3. Aulip’ta’a (told that his new name is “ulip” by the auctioneer) is a man with skin that is ever so slightly purple in shade. Aulip’ta’a is a traveler from a far distant land of mystery and wonder. He fell on hard times, was captured, and here he is. He will gladly show his new masters to his homeland, and will spin fanciful tales of the wonders than can be found there. Of course, once there, it would be hard for an outsider to claim any ownership over a local.
  4. Zuttana is cursed. She once interrupted a witch who was mid-coitus with a devil. The witch was furious, and now on every yearly anniversary of her misdeed, she suffers some horrible misfortune. In 18 years, everyone she ever cared for has either died or distanced themselves from her to avoid dying. Two years ago her house burned down. Last year she lost all of her hair. And as of about two weeks ago, she became a slave. She’s a depressed, defeated woman.
  5. Dorved Hazlip is a time traveler from something more or less equivalent to England during the industrial revolution. His time machine was flawed, and did not transport itself along with him into the past, so he has no way to get back. In his own time he was a man of significant means and learning, but the only contemporary language he speaks is the slave tongue of the Azuri people. In about 300 years they’ll rise up into a great empire, which is why he learned their language. For now, though, speaking it only marks him out as a slave. Dorved is having a really bad day right now.
  6. Hilde Ses has trained all of her life to excel in matters of etiquette. After many years serving first as a butler, then majordomo to a lordly family, the final scion of that family passed away. His property was divided among more distant relations, and the distant cousin who came to own Hilde decided they didn’t really need her. Despite being up for sale, Hilde maintains a haughty dignity. She believes in the nobility of servitude, and will obey whomever owns her. However, if purchased by anyone lacking noble character, she will serve only with barely disguised disdain for her owner.
  7. Nuzlort was, formerly, the mount of one of the Diminutive Folk. These are a people who stand roughly 6 inches tall. They regard themselves as vastly more intelligent to humans, in part because they have somehow come under the false belief that a certain poisonous root is “human food.” After eating this root for most of his life, Nuzlort is a dull man who understands only simple commands. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, and he cannot use tools, but he is immensely strong, fast, and willing to carry any burden strapped to his body.
  8. Cobbie is a 122 year old man. Until recently he was working in construction, pushing great massive stones up ramps to build monuments. Somehow, he managed to hide the fact that he wasn’t contributing a single damn thing to the effort for years. The other slaves always covered for him because they enjoyed his company, but everyone’s luck runs out eventually. Cobbie is relentlessly confident that he can perform any task he sets his mind to, but given his age he has some obvious limitations which he refuses to accept. But he’s always quick with a joke, or a really great story from the old days, so it’s hard to dislike the guy.
  9. Sorib Lurp is a carpenter whose master is attempting to “flip” him. He as purchased as a toddler, apprenticed to a carpenter friend, and now that he’s got a useful skill his owner hopes to make a profit off of reselling him. Sorib  Lurp is well resigned to his lot in life, which has been pretty decent for him so far. He will expect some special considerations due an educated slave–a small allowance, a woman, etc–but if accommodated, he will do his work with a high degree of skill, and without any complaints.
  10. Jenniyak was raised to serve as a nanny / bodyguard for the boyslaves of a distant sultan. To ensure she always maintained her focus, and did not pollute the sultan’s boys, her vagina was sewn shut. Over the years she grew to become a person of great influence at court, at one time even managing to act as a sort of de facto sultan for a few days. But this overreach cost her, and her enemies at court conspired her downfall. The very moment she was out of favor, she suddenly found herself locked in a slavemerchant cart, heading for the most distant land any of her enemies had ever heard of.
  11. Borvie is a six year old boy. He’s not particularly strong, and he gets easily distracted, but at least he’s small enough to fit into tiny places. (Though, he’s actually very scared of tiny places). His mom was sold yesterday, so he’s finally stopped crying,but he hasn’t yet come to grips with the fact that he’s probably never going to see her again.
  12. Yannovia is a large woman, powerfully built with a wide face. She has impressive strength, but the real selling point that the auctioneer will harp on is her talent as a masseuses. Reportedly, she was the most frequently requested masseuses at a famous bathhouse which recently burned down, and is selling off some of its assets to help rebuild. In point of fact Yannovia was the third most requested, but the first two were quietly purchased in private deals, and thus the public doesn’t need to know that there was anyone more popular.
  13. Ough is a cave woman. Physically no different from modern women, but her first 32 years were spent in the far distant past of 7,500 years ago. While she was swimming in a lake, a giant whirlpool appeared, sucking her beneath the surface of the water. When she finally managed to struggle to the surface, the lake was surrounded by a village that hadn’t been there before. Somehow she had been transported through time. The villagers first tried to help her, but her fear of this new world caused her to react violently. And since no one can understand her, no one knows why she acts like this. The villagers captured her, and not knowing what else to do with someone so volitile, they sold her to the next trade caravan that passed through.
  14. Zharbouff is a man with thick body hair, perfectly sculpted muscles, and a meticulously groomed mustache. He is a Dunuski dancer, a style which was recently all the rage among the high courts of the land. The dancing style involves maintaining a very stern expression while slowly stomping the feet in time with heavy drums, then occasionally ‘breaking character’ to frolic on light feet with a gleeful expression. Unfortunately for Zharbouff, Dunuski dancing has fallen out of style, and the market has become flooded with him and other dancers like him.
  15. Wendila is a severe woman who wears her hair in looping braids. She has a superb memory, and until recently that talent was employed in service of a politician. For him, she memorized the names and personal details of countless constituents, which she would whisper in his ear as they approached, so he could seem more personable.
  16. Vaubul is a smooth young man. Well muscled, handsome, and until very recently, the favorite plaything of a grand lady. And, like any grand lady, this one was involved in numerous feuds and political rivalries. One of her enemies–no less a woman than her own daughter–conspired to get Vabul alone long enough to chop off his dick, which she then had nailed to her mother’s bedposts. Distraught over the loss of her beloved, Vabul’s owner commanded her other slaves to arrange for his sale. She couldn’t bring herself even to see him in his ruined state. Vabul’s only skills are sexual in nature, and he’s currently having a panic attack that he’ll be sent to the mines for hard labor.
  17. Ausasca is a woman born with a cleft lip and a single oversized eyeball which had to be removed at birth. Fortunately for her, her parents were were allowed to keep their worthless deformed child, provided they gave her a useful skill. Fearing for their daughter’s future, the two worked themselves to death for her. In addition to the work they performed for their owner, they spent every free moment polishing and cleaning instruments for a local group of musicians, who in turn taught Ausasca to play. Her parents are now passed, but their work was not in vain. The young lady is a talented musician, skilled in a variety of instruments.
  18. Ostobo is the rarest sort of slave: the sort who enjoys being a slave. If anything, his masters have complained that he enjoys being a slave too much, to the point that it becomes unsettling. He derives an obvious gratification from his lot in life which most masters find unappealing. He goes so far as to insist that he’s done wrong and deserves punishment, even suggesting what sorts of punishments would suit his misdeeds. His suggestions in these regard are often unduly harsh, and almost always strangely specific. When left alone, he is often caught acting like a piece of furniture.
  19. Falubius is, in many ways, a victim of the idle rich. Apparently there were a great many drunken arguments in the home, so it was decided to officially designate one of their slaves as a ‘bet settler.’ They went all out in this project, selecting a young boy and hiring special tutors who designed a curriculum with the sole intent of helping him settle bets. Eventually, however, it was decided that the arguments were more fun, and Falubius was sold.
  20. Xagut is a well muscled man with with hard features and a brand on his right shoulder. Until losing a recent war, he was a soldier. The brand identifies him as a member of the 18th March of the Kinseird Tyranny. When his unit was routed, he fled along with everyone else. Some of those who fled were cut down by the cavalry coming up behind them. Xagut was lucky. He was merely clapped in irons and claimed as war booty. Within a day he had been sold to one of the merchants among the camp followers, and now he’s here in the heart of his enemy’s homeland. He will be a tough slave to break for whomever purchases him.
  21. Iburren Havasa is a stocky woman with a head shaved completely bald in the style of one who has declared themselves a warrior in her homeland of Iss. In Iss, a strict code guides how tribes raid upon, and attack one another. No one with hair on their head may be touched or harmed in any way. Likewise, if one with hair on their head defends themselves or attacks, then all the warriors on both sides of the conflict will turn against them. Iburren shaved her head to join in a supply raid, but was captured. She worked for 2 seasons as a slave of her captor before being sold to an outlander who was passing through the area. She is remarkably proficient with an particular style of heavy sword with an blade that curves inward.
  22. Unouk appears to be a man of 22 years. In point of fact he is 38, but he suffers under a frustrating curse. Each morning when he wakes up, his physical age for that day is randomly determined using a d100. On some days he is an impossibly old man, and on others he is a toddler who may not be able to speak, let alone walk. The poor man was purchased several years back by a wizard who required a guinea pig for his explorations into the secrets of long life. One of those experiments caused his current affliction, which makes him useless for further study. The wizard is hoping to recoup at least some of his losses on this sale.
  23. Quaestoria is a young woman of exceeding beauty. She was taken as warbooty from a besieged town several years ago. As the city was falling she took care to smear herself with filth, and pad her clothes with hay to make herself unappealing to the rampaging soldiers–which worked. But once she’d been sold to one of the slave merchants following the warcamp, her beauty was eventually noticed. Taking a gamble that he could get a higher price if he first invested in her, Quaestoria was sent to finishing schools and brothels to be trained and certified as a woman of sexual talents to match her physical beauty. Now, after all his investment, Quaestoria is on the block for the first time, and her owner hopes to make a princely sum off of her.
  24. Edgugu is a pale man, with wiry limbs and and a half starved look to him. He spent the majority of his early life living in a massive underground complex built by a progenitor empire, which fell before the dawn of recorded history. The people who lived there fled to escape some catastrophe on the surface many generations before, and despite the horrors they faced in the dungeon, it was a well known fact that whatever awaited them on the surface was worse. Edgugu now wishes he had listened to everyone who had told him he was foolish to venture to the surface, as he was quickly picked up by slavers to be sold. He only wishes he had brought some of those yellow stones everyone on the surface seems to value so much. In the dark place where he comes from, they were as common and useless as pebbles.
  25. Petunia was born in an underground human farm, where she was bred for a singular purpose: to one day host a brain parasite. After being born, her parents were killed, chopped up, and their parts kept in stasis in case Petunia ever needed anything replaced. She survived the culling process, in which the constitutionally weaker children were weeded out. She spent a lifetime training her body to provide the best possible vessel, all while she was kept from anything that might strengthen her mind against the creature who would eventually inhabit it. She had reached the age of maturity, and was only waiting for a fresh parasite to be born so it could take up residence in her, when a band of mercenaries under the command of a wizard raided the place for magical components. The wizard wasn’t interested in any of the humans, so Petunia (and several others) were taken by the mercenaries as a bit of extra pay, and sold off at the earliest opportunity. She had no name before this, and “Petunia” was given to her by the auctioneer about 15 minutes ago.
  26. Faylana does not have any legs, or feet. She was born without any lower body at all. She ends right at the waist. Her parents were disgusted by her when she was born, and she was left out in the street to die. Fortunately for her, she was found by a woman who operated a freak show, and taken in as a performer. Faylana is now 12 years old, and has been performing all of her life. Unfortunately, the freak show hasn’t been doing so well, and she’s being sold off by her owner’s creditors to pay for the show’s debts.
  27. Hustubar is a naked man who appears to be made entirely of muscles. Large metal plates, with spikes on them, have been embeded into his skin. The plates are not very effective in their coverage, however. They cover his scalp, his pectoral muscles, his shoulders, and bits all over his body, but they exist more for show than for protection. Notably, Hustubar’s dick & balls are encased within a round metal box with hinges on it, and a prominent keyhole on the front. Hustubar sold himself into slavery to become a gladiator (a profession much more comfortable than his life as a pauper, but not available to free men.) His modifications are the result of his time at a particularly creative gladiatorial school, and now he’s looking to reap the rewards of his many years of training. He plans to win many fights, so his master will repay him with good food, comfortable living, and women.
  28. Porold has never been terribly good at following the rules. When he was 22, he lost his hand as punishment for thievery. He didn’t even steal because he needed it. His family were not affluent, but they were well connected enough that Porold could have had a good life if he’d been willing to work hard. But he wasn’t. Despite his punishment, Porold continued to steal. He managed not to get caught, but it was clear to his family what he was doing. They feared the ruin to their reputation that would be done if their son was caught a second time, and so Porold was disowned, and sold into slavery by his parents.
  29. Votaldia was, until very recently, apprenticed to a blacksmith. She performed chores in exchange for room, board, and being taught her master’s craft. Unfortunately for her, her master was lazy, incompetent, and crass. That Votilda is today even a tolerably capable blacksmith is testament to her own strength of character and drive to excel. She was eagerly awaiting the end of her apprenticeship so she could get away from her master. Then the tax man came, and she learned that her master was deep in debt. Further, she learned that she had been put up as collateral the last time he had promised to make his payments. She’s red faced and steaming mad as she stands on the block. She was a mere 7 months away from freedom just a week ago. Now she’s looking at a lifetime of slavery.
  30. Tauzdl is a man with long hair, sorted into five braids. He’s lean and muscular, with particularly powerful legs. He’s proud of his record as a message runner. If given an opportunity, he will brag about one time when his master was on campaign, and the horses had all contracted some plague, how he ran for a full day and night to get message to a nearby fort that reinforcements were needed. He’s a particularly obedient slave, hoping to earn freedom someday. Unluckily for him, when his master retired from public life, he no longer needed a message runner, and decided to sell Tauzdl rather than free him.
  31. Dubala became the personal attendant for a young man from an impoverished noble house when she was in her 30s. Now in her 50s, but still spry, Dubala watched her ward rise to prominence within the political structure of his homeland, restoring his family name to prominence. He became a general, and waged many campaigns with Dubala by his side. She has become used to commanding a certain respect, for despite being a slave, she was known to speak with the voice of her master. Unfortunately, a recent campaign went disastrously poorly when her master’s political enemies conspired with their own nation’s military enemies to bring down the great general. He is now held as a captive by the king who defeated him, while Dubala and most of his men are being sold off as slaves.
  32. An infant girl is up for sale, literally just pulled from her mother’s womb a few days ago. She doesn’t have any name yet. There is a 50/50 chance that her mother was already sold. If she hasn’t been sold, then she’s in the back recovering, and won’t be put up for sale for a few days yet.
  33. Lupoldi is a short man of sleight build. He’s an expert horse rider, who specializes in coaxing the absolute most speed possible from his mount. He was purchased a few years back while the army was out on campaign to serve as a message carrier back to the capitol. Now that the campaign is over, Lupoldi is just one piece of excess equipment that is being sold off to bring down costs.
  34. Ceruli has was sold into slavery as a youth, and for many years was deeply resentful of her station in life–as anyone would be. However, when she was 26, Ceruli encountered a stoic philosopher, and began attending his lectures whenever she had the opportunity. The philosophy connected with her, and she came to believe that striving for something other than your current position in life was a source of suffering. That the world would be a better place if each person would simply strive to do their best in whatever place they find themselves. Since then she has become a devoted stoic, and works diligently to serve as a good and honest slave.
  35. Guadur is the son of a woman, and a celestial equine. He has the shape of a man, but his feet are hooves, and he is covered in short, almond colored fur. He has a tail, two large nostrils, raised ears on top of his head, and an absolutely massive dick. The thing hangs down to his ankles, and despite its size relative to his body, functions without any difficulty. After being stolen from his mother by an unscrupulous circusman, Guadur spent years entertaining people as a freak, before being purchased some years ago by one noblewoman, as a sort of “gag gift” for another. He spent a few years floating between the homes of the decadent rich, before becoming old news, and ending up for sale here.
  36. Ustevi is 238 years old. Nobody knows how or why he is still alive. He is impossibly thin and frail. His body barely functions, and he must be pushed around in a wheelchair. At most, he can raise his arms to point at things, wiggle his toes, or rasp out words at a frustratingly slow rate. Ustevi has seen a great deal in his life, and could tell such stories that you’d hardly believe. But all the same, he’s mostly useless, and pretty cheap.
  37. Jilutta and Wesdia are conjoined twins. They have a single body (with some redundant organs) and two heads. They’re a novelty slave, and they know it, so they try to make themselves as interesting as possible. They’re skilled at singing duets, and have composed several original songs which poke fun at themselves. They’ve become quite good at coordinating their arms for tasks like juggling, or using them separately such as to draw two paintings simultaneously. They’ve also perfected a certain sexual allure, despite their somewhat lumpy body. This includes a number of techniques that “only a woman with two heads can do for you.”
  38. Norumb is a giant at, 6′ 10″ tall. His head has a large chunk missing out of it, like a bite taken out of a gingerbread man. In point of fact, that’s precisely what happened when he was a child, and was rescued from a massive wolf who had dragged him off into the woods. Much of Norumb’s brain is gone. He lacks any manual dexterity, and will drop almost anything put into his hands. He can walk alright, and seems to understand very simple words, but he can’t speak himself, and he often becomes distracted. Many have thought they could make use of him, but so far all of them have become frustrated to the point of selling him eventually. Norumb is very, very cheap.
  39. Krustlausiga is an exotic dancer in her mid 80s. It’s a talent she has worked at and perfected since her youth, and it is the only real skill she claims to have. Who her clientele have been for the last few decades is something of a mystery, as she lacks even the madam’s skills, which most aging sex workers develop. She will do whatever is demanded of her, of course, but will miserably fail at anything that isn’t sexy dancing.
  40. Buezdul is a muscular, bald eunuch. As a child he was a singer, and was cut to prevent his voice from changing. He still sings quite well, but his voice has deepened enough that he’s not really useful as a singer any longer. He spent some years training in wrestling, and is now advertised as a useful guardian for virgins, and other women who should not be touched by a man.
  41. Purlonia cannot speak. As a young child, she was witness to her master murdering a rival in his own home. She was beaten for being in a place she should not have been, then forced to help him dispose of the body. Afterwords, fearing the child slave may inadvertently reveal him in idle talk, Purlonia’s master boiled the fern of the Bernuli plant, and forced the hot water down her throat. She has never been able to speak a word since that day.
  42. Vuno is a man with fewer years ahead of him than there are behind. Some years back he was infected with a crystalline parasite, which has replaced many of his internal organs. Its growth seems to be halted at this point, but its presence is obvious. His teeth have been pushed out by formations of crystal which have grown to fill his mouth. He struggles to breathe, and would be long dead from starvation if his stomach had not also been replaced by crystals, which radiate from his midsection, absorbing light and converting it into vitality. Vuno cannot speak with words as you and I do, but the crystals do allow him to make his voice heard within the minds of anyone within 1 mile of himself. He cannot receive responses, but he is very useful for passing secret messages, or ensuring your orders are disseminated more quickly than your enemies’ are.
  43. Ammini was turned into an instrument. There is nothing overtly magical about this transformation, but it extends beyond the known practices, or even the theoretical ones, of modern surgery. There are a series of metal pipes inserted into her chest, each terminating within her lungs. A turn knob on her throat closes off her human breathing passage, and transforms the simple rhythms of breathing into an eerie musical performance, which she can manipulate by opening different parts of the many pipes sticking out from her torso. Ammini will insist she has been this way for as long as she remembers, but she says this only to save herself the pain of telling and retelling this story to each new master she is passed to.
  44. Luster is a human affected by dwarfism–not to be confused with a dwarf. While the new Lord of a noble house was putting his dead father’s affairs in order, he discovered Luster in his father’s private study. The poor man was wearing a sort of “puppy” outfit, with openings in it that had an obvious sexual intent. The young lord quickly burned the outfit, and other paraphernalia that Luster was only too happy to point out to him. He then made sure that Luster would be sold far, far away from anywhere that his stories might bring shame upon the house he had served.
  45. Fiddost is a hawk-nosed woman of middle years. Somehow, despite literally being a slave on an auction block, she has a way of making people feel a little embarrassed by her obvious judgements of them. She is a stylist of the highest degree. She will style your hair, oversee the crafting of your garments, and ensure that you always look impressive. More than that, she manages to do this without following the foppish fancy of passing trends, or by crafting ludicrous fashions that will impede the real work of her masters. The only complain anyone has ever had of her is her intensely unlikable demeanor, which is why she has so frequently found herself on the auction block.
  46. Ivott was, until recently, a galley slave. Rather than row the boat, however, Ivott was tasked with keeping tempo for the rowers by slowly beating a drum. It’s simple work, and a cushy job compared to the others available on the ship, but Ivott couldn’t resist the urge to play around a little more with the drums. His musical inclinations led him to perform complex little songs for the rowers, who enjoyed their lives significantly more, and whose rowing got significantly worse. Even after repeated warnings and beatings, Ivott would still sneak in his little performances, until the flustered ship’s captain just couldn’t take it anymore, and sold Ivott off at the nearest port. Ivott misses his drums very much, and constantly rapps his fingers on just about anything.
  47. Scribe 83 is a woman with the number “83” tattooed in large, black print across her whole face. She was purchased as a child by a woman of meticulous temperament who put her to work as a scribe. In this woman’s estimation, names only served to confuse the more essential information of each slave’s existence, and so all of her names were given a function and a number to use as a name. Scribe 83 served dutifully for 34 years, until pains in her hands developed, preventing her from doing her work. That was yesterday. Today she is up for sale.
  48. Obarg was a pirate until a couple weeks ago. The hideout was raided, the ship taken, and all the pirates hauled back to civilization. Kept in chains in the belly of their own ship. Only just a moment ago, the captain and first mate were executed for the education and entertainment of the public. When that was done, the rest of the pirate band were set to be auctioned off. A handful of landowners who owned a mine together purchased them for the deadly job of mining in the deep dark tunnels of the earth, but Obarg was somehow missed in the shuffle and now finds himself up for sale on the general auction block. Once alone with his new master, he will reveal a secret to them: he knows the location of the pirate band’s treasure, and he will exchange that treasure for his freedom. This is all true: as the camp was being raided, Obarg quickly stole the map from the captain’s quarters, and hid it inside of his butt. He’s had nothing else to think about for weeks now, so he knows precisely what his plan is. He’s going to keep this information close to his chest, until he can be relatively assured of his freedom. Only then will he reveal that he has a map, and hand it over. If the situation works out well enough, he may attempt to gather a band of his own to follow the folk who release him, ambush them, and take the treasure for himself.
  49. Givabia is a specialist of level 1d4. She was raised under a master who was noble enough to mingle with the aristocracy, but whose family was impoverished enough that he had to get creative about making money. For years, Givabia was his secret weapon, a personal attendant who could scout the place during the day while walking behind him, then return some time later to burgle it, sell off anything distinctive, and bring the coin to her master to reinforce the family finances. Unfortunately, Givabia recently made the mistake of getting caught. She was lucky not to be executed on the spot, but instead was dragged back to her master. With a grimace of disappointment he gave her a savage beating, then sent her to the auction block to hide his involvement in the affair. Her bruises are still obvious, and her cracked rib and ankle still untended. She’ll probably have a limp for the rest of her life at this point.
  50. Relva spent years as an assistant to a magician. She maintained his curios, cleaned up after his experiments, and alphabetized his tinctures. Recently, there was an explosion in his lab when certain experiments went awry. Relva lost both of her arms and legs in the blast, and swears up and down that there was something more than fire in the blast. Regardless, she’s eager to find ways to make herself useful, though nobody can really think of any good ones, so she’s currently selling for very cheap. Nobody has noticed yet–not even Relva herself–but her years of exposure to the forces of the outer realities has infected her, causing her to radiate a sort of odd force. The fabric of what is usual bends around her, sometimes in barely perceptible ways, but sometimes in quite significant ways.(Note: Here, at the halfway mark, this is already the longest post ever written on Papers & Pencils. Why am I doing this to myself?)
  51. Yvorn is a strapping young man with lean muscles, and flowing blond hair. His skin is smooth, with only a soft down of hair along his arms and legs. He was purchased away from a gladiatorial school before completing his first month of training to serve the amorous desires of a corpulent and wealthy merchant. Yvorn satisfied the man for many years, until the development of a series of hemorrhoids prevented him from performing his primary duties adequately.
  52. Esthuna saw something. Nobody knows what, though, because whoever she saw covered their tracks thoroughly. Her tongue has been removed, and her lips sealed shut by sewing them together, then burning them with hot iron so they would heal shut. A small hole was cut into her cheek that she could eat through. She does not know how to write, and the backs of both her hands have been branded with a photographic warning: hands are for work. Not for pointing.
  53. Disfij is going through puberty right now, which means the market has dried up, and it’s time for his pimp to sell him off to someone who will find better uses for him. Life up to this point has caused Disfij to become a disturbed young man, who will attempt to seduce any men he meets in the hopes of gaining favor and protection from them.
  54. Clofullia is a slender young woman of voluptuous endowment. Her body would normally ensure that she was sold as an object of sexual play, save for her most notable feature: a wiry, 4′ beard. The hair is thick and tough; even a close shave leaves her face coarse to the touch. But she has been a great success as a carnival sideshow, and is only now being sold because her previous owner made so much money that he decided to retire from circus life altogether.
  55. Vuld is skilled at a peculiar sort of social tactic, wherein he points out holes in the statements and character of everyone his master meets. This allows Vuld’s master to remain aloof and friendly, while Vuld does the dirty work of forcing a person to justify themselves and their promises.
  56. Heiam is a massive woman, standing nearly 7′ tall, with powerful muscles, and an almost comically curvaceous figure. She proudly describes herself as a “breeder of great men.” Pregnancy and birth are her trade, and at the age of 30 she has already produced 14 children for 9 different masters. Each of these is a strong boy, handsome, and growing well. She’s eager to get started on #15.
  57. Godgio is a fat young man whose skin has been permanently tinted gold to facilitate the enigmatic eroticism of his dance. He is surprisingly light on his feet, and skilled at wobbling his folds in ways that first seem amusing, but the longer they continue, the less you’re able to look away.
  58. Ustia has reached the age where children call her old, but everyone else knows it’s rude to say for a few years yet. She’s a cook with no great culinary talent. Her skill, rather, is the speed and volume with which she prepares food. Formerly she was employed to work during public festivals, or in military camps.
  59. Gondecune is a woman in her late 30s who is well suited to a variety of work, but cannot do anything that requires her to sit. Unfortunately, during her youth, she was trapped in a beseiged building, and the people therein began to starve. The slaves were forced to draw lots, and when Gondecune drew the short straw, her buttocks were removed, cooked, and fed to the men there. Tragically, it was only then another day before the seige was finally lifted.
  60. Dwinog has spent his whole life carrying things, and he’s become very good at it. It goes beyond mere strength–though his strength is impressive. Dwinog has developed his sense of balance to the degree that he can transport loads on his back that any sensible man would consider too much for one man. Can carry easily twice the load that would normally be allowed of someone even with his strength.
  61. Jezzuli Plote is a wiry man, with grey eyes and thick hair, scented with oils and perfumes. He is a skilled masseuse and contortionist, whom the auctioneer promises will help enrich his master’s life through healthy living. He’s also wearing a muzzle, which the auctioneer says is because he has “a barber’s propensity for constant chatter–but it certainly keeps one’s mind active during a nice massage!” In truth, the muzzle is there because Jezzuli has tourettes.
  62. Valerian was, until recently, a slave whose only duty was to provide a stool for his master. Either because his master wanted to rest his feet, or because he needed to step up onto some higher surface. Valerian’s master took great delight in constantly humiliating Valerian for some unknown reason–a prior acquaintance, perhaps. Valerian does swear up and down that he is a king, but he speaks with such fervor that he comes off as crazy. Recently, Valerian developed a painful pustule on his back, which seeps puss and smells atrocious. His master could no longer bear the smell of him, and is having him sold off so someone could work him to death or something.
  63. Fuluviam is a bad slave. She frequently tries to escape, and never pays any heed to her master’s commands. Like any such slave, she was sent to the mines to be worked to death, and just like a thousand other slaves, she worked there until she suffered a severe injury. A cave in trapped her leg, and they had to cut it off to pull her out. They judged that she didn’t have much chance of surviving, and even if she did, she was useless now, so they left her to die. But Fuluviam did what she could to stem the flow of blood, and other slaves risked beatings to drag her into the shade, and to bring her water and food. Miraculously, she recovered, and left the mine foreman with the curious problem of figuring out what to do with a one legged slave. Ultimately, he decided to foist the problem onto someone else by just selling her. Fuluviam is a hardened woman, but after years in the mines, and the loss of her leg, her spirits are at an all-time low.
  64. Ebart is a superb scribe. With tools as primitive as quill and ink he can transcribe words faster than any dictator can speak them. He’s also noted for his skills as a tattooist, though has found very little use for those skills since becoming a slave in the south. Among the northern tribes, however, his designs were quite popular.
  65. Noscheste is a priestess of Servilax, god of servitude. After her ordination, while trying to find the best way to exemplify servitude, Noscheste decided to sell herself into slavery. She banked on the renown of her order to get a bidding war going. She raised a significant sum for herself, which she donated to the church of Servilax, to be used in tending the poor. Since then, she served her master with dutiful vigor, and was recently rewarded with her freedom. She now seeks to repeat the process, and is selling herself once again.
  66. Posejus is a faithful of Bulzupont, a forbidden god who promises that someday, all slaves will be free men. Posejus himself is a cleric, of level 1d4. One of his spells is a sort of specialized “command,” which subtly encourages his owner to sell him to the person he indicates. This allows him to moves among as many communities of slaves as he can. He preaches to them, and tends their ailments to the extent that his limited skills allow.
  67. Bisbi is 8. She’s been a slave all her life, and is very good at bringing plats and cups to masters while they eat. She can also feed chickens, scrub floors, and she knows a few songs to sing if someone plays the lute for her. She doesn’t really know how to do very many things at all, and isn’t a particularly bright child, but she’ll certainly try to do what she’s told.
  68. Thurlin has 5 well-muscled arms. There are two on his right side, and three on his left, and all are fully functional arms. He was born into the service of a man who kept him around as a novelty. Not to mention that he was often much more efficient than a single slave, being able to bring 2.5 times as many plates to the table in a single trip, etc. Unfortunately, Thurlin’s master has fallen upon hard times, and hopes to solve his financial issues by selling Thurlin to someone who will get more use out of his peculiarity. A circus perhaps, or a gladiator school.
  69. When you take away a magic user’s oddments, their tomes, their laboratory, their vestments their wands, and all the other trappings of wizardry, they’re very much a regular person. A soldier without arms and armor still knows how to fight, but magic users are like software engineers in a world without computers. Yevisalia has found herself in that unfortunate position. Despite having 1d4 magic user levels, an untimely spacial vortex transported her to this dismal place, and transported all her personal effects to locations unknown. She supposes she ought to consider herself lucky she wasn’t killed, but being discovered naked and unconscious by the side of the road by a slave merchant has not made her very prone to look on the bright side of things.
  70. Psalmuk is a corpulent man in heavy chains. A gourmand of the highest caliber, Psalmuk was once jealously coveted by the aristocracy before his furious temperament came to the fore. When ordered by his master to prepare a meal he considered insulting to his culinary talents, Psalmuk violently beat his master to death with a cooking pan. Normally he would have been put to death, but the executor of his dead master’s estate thought it a shame to lose such a talented chef. None of the aristocracy would even accept him as a gift after the murder, however, so he’s now here on the general block, selling for a vastly reduced price.
  71. Utagum is an armorer, and has spent much of his life hammering out breastplates and helmets for the army. But his true passion is fashion, which he frustratingly tries to work into his work at every opportunity, despite repeated commands to stick to the basics. After one too many helms with extraneous horsehair braids, and breastplates with giant spiked nipples, Utagum was sent to the auction block, where you now find him.
  72. Relluma is a corpulent woman; slow moving, but strong and capable. An ugly series of scars covers her neck, and cascades from chin to chest, and from shoulder to shoulder. Some years ago she was struck by lightning right in the throat, which left her completely mute. This was particularly tragic, as up to that point her greatest asset was her singing voice.
  73. Saltimus was, until recently, owned by a merchant whose wealth dwarfed many of the aristocratic families of the area. Saltimus was never able to adapt well to servitude, and suffered frequent beatings for sloth and disobedience before the frequent threats of being sold at auction finally came to pass. Saltimus is seething with rage over this. If purchased by anyone who seems to have a vagabond’s temprament, he will make an offer. In exchange for manumission, he will use his extensive knowledge of his former master’s residence to assist you in looting the place. He’s happy to let you have a 95% share of the loot, so long as he’s allowed his freedom, enough money to get his life started, and the opportunity to slit his former master’s throat in his sleep.
  74. Soaemias is a demure woman of plain features, and a perpetually blank expression. This dull exterior is her disguise for a sharp wit, and a certain ruthlessness. She is not herself a magician, but many years ago she was slave to a wizard of some ability. Without any training, Soaemias managed to force an entire spell into her mind. It is a particularly potent spell, which she has kept locked in her thoughts for years now. It presses upon her, forcing other thoughts out of her mind and making her appear dullwitted. She’s waiting for the right opportunity to use it to best effect, and if she encounters a magic user, she will have found it. She will offer to trade the spell for her freedom, and 1000 currency. While the price may seem steep, it is in truth a very small price to pay for a spell as good as this.
  75. “Killa-Z” is a woman of 50 years, and a well known gladiatorial legend. Out of over 1000 fights, she lost only 46, and only one of those happened after her first 300. She was most well known for her trick shots with the bow, dancing around her opponents in close quarters and pinning first their feet, then their hands, with arrows. But she was just as talented with short swords, tridents, and staves. Usually, such a successful career would have made her a free woman by now, but her master is particularly greedy. He hopes to sell her off as a sort of “collector’s item,” and the cost for her is exorbitantly high.
  76. Drozdare is an educated man, who specializes in the education of children. Like any respectable instructor, he knows that to spare the rod is to spoil the child, and drilled his students harshly in their lessons. He took satisfaction in knowing that the children of his master would grow up wise and temperate, but unfortunately he was completely mistaken about that. When the eldest of his pupils came to maturity and (after the unfortunate passing of his father) assumed control of the estate, his first act as to take vengeance on Drozdare for his many childhood beatings. Drozdare’s nose, ears, and 2 fingers from each hand were cut off, then he was sent to the block to be sold for a pittance.
  77. Oppia’s mind is a repository of games. She organizes learning games for little children, sporting games for young men and women, and gay amusements for more established folk. She’s an absolute must at any party. Though she’s never gotten very good at making sure her master doesn’t lose too badly.
  78. Brushuk claims to be from a city that floats upon the clouds. According to her, she forgot to put on her wings one morning, and when she stepped onto a particularly thin bit of cloud, she fell through and plummeted down to earth, which she says hurt quite a bit, and is why she was found unconscious by the slave merchant. If you help her return, she promises to reward you with an introduction to the mayor. As outlandish as all of this seems, Brushuk is actually telling the truth.
  79. Lanadabo has spent most of his years working for a shipwright, building ships under the direction of a certified master craftsperson. Recently, an accident crushed his arm, which had to be amputated, making him unfit for his work. Lanadabo may be only a slave, but he paid attention during those years he built ships, and is as competent a shipwright as any. He could easily direct the construction of a ship, if given the chance.
  80. Kursom is a gardener of some skill. Though she was never able to make her master’s gardens truly stand out among all the other men of his station, she kept pace with them well enough. Her master had no reason to be displeased, until one of his children mischievously spread a potent toxin across the garden as a jape. The sorry showing of dead plants was blamed on Kursom, and she was sold to make room for a more competent gardener.
  81. Blutandi has only been a slave for a short while. Before that she was a street performer who gathered crowds with her witty comments and jokes. Her comedy had an insulting quality to it, but always lighthearted enough that the victim could laugh along with everyone else. Sometimes she ran into somebody who couldn’t take a joke, but that wasn’t a problem. At least, until that someone was the local magistrate of this crummy town. Then it became very much a problem when she was quietly arrested and shipped a few towns over to be sold.
  82. Auscunu has been all over the world as the “lovely assistant” of the renowned painter, Vutelek Mukani. Mukani became famous for using the human body as his canvas, and creating transient artwork that took form in front of admirers, and was washed away into nothing at the end of the day. After 10 years of this, however, Mukani decided the art had gotten stale, and it was time to move on. Callously, he sold Auscunu off. “Burning the ships,” as it were, to make sure he could never falter and go back to an easier means of producing art.
  83. Norbet is dead, but nobody has noticed yet. He was killed while being experimented on by as physician of dubious credibility, and discarded in a nearby ditch. A few hours later he woke up, still dead, but somehow refusing to act like it, and wandered away in a haze. When a slave merchant happened upon a filthy man in rags who didn’t seem to know where he was or what was going on, he figured it was his lucky day and tossed Norbet in his wagon. In the two days since then, Norbet’s head has cleared up a little, but he’s still not 100% sure what’s going on.
  84. Bruland is a highly educated woman, who until recently was the scribe in charge of royal ledgers. Her power over the kingdom’s finances was considerable, to the point that even members of the aristocracy had to make requests of her. She started to become pompous, lording her power over her oppressors. For awhile, this worked out. The king favored her for her studious and reliable bookkeeping. But as the complaints grew, the king could no longer overlook the indignity Bruland was putting the nobles through, all in his name. As punishment, he has sent her to be sold at auction.
  85. Relevisio is in all respects a man, save for the pale green scales which cover every inch of his body. According to him, his mother’s father’s, mother was a lizard person. As only 1/8th lizard person himself, Relevisio lacks their cold blood, excellent night vision,  or incredible strength. He’s just a dude with scales.
  86. Saraken isn’t really a woman. She’s an anthropological device dropped onto our planet by aliens. She will walk, talk, and act like a human to the best of her adaptive program’s ability to simulate. Even surface level cuts will not reveal her artificial nature, and she would need to be completely dismembered to notice irregularities. Everything she sees and experiences is being recorded, and in a few years the aliens will return to retrieve her, and examine the recordings.
  87. Pularch’s master enjoyed his appearance, and wanted Pularch to become a dancer. He was apprenticed to another slave, who discovered that Pularch had two left feet. The man was incapable of learning how to dance. But their master only doubled down, insisting on more lessons, harsher consequences for failure, ever more lavish promises of reward for success. Only after years did he grow tired of the attempt. After so much strife, Pularch’s appearance had become nothing but a source of frustration, and he decided to have Pularch sold.
  88. Undaha was the high priestess of the cult of Guraka, the queen of murder. She was well favored by her goddess. A powerful woman who very nearly orchestrated the mass sacrifice of an entire village before she was stopped by a band of adventurers. For her failure her goddess stripped her of all her powers, and further weakened her, reducing all of her ability scores to 4. A broken woman Undaha was sold into slavery by the men and whoen who defeated her, looking to squeeze as much coin as they could out of the venture.
  89. Yombull is still a young man. He holds himself erect, with a false assuredness that this is merely a setback in his fortunes. By rights, he is king of a far off land, captured by foes while “subtly” carousing through their lands. He fully intends to heroically slay whomever becomes his master and escape at the earliest opportunity. In truth, Yombull is a dull witted young man, with a weak will and an over-inflated sense of self importance. He will break quite easily.
  90. Esri tells a story of a childhood trauma. She claims that she was sent into the woods to gather berries, ran afoul of a witch, and was cursed to be forever clumsy and dull witted. This is why she fails at every single task that is ever set for her. In truth, her clumsiness is an act of protest. She’s actually a clever and capable young woman, making a concerted effort to be as useless as she possibly can be to her oppressors.
  91. Garbo was a wealthy slave trader, once upon a time. Frequently he stood on this very block, harping on the values of this human or that, looking for the best price he could get to sell them into a lifetime of forced labor. Many people in the crowd will recognize him, and there are more than a few chuckles happening at his expense. Two months ago, an anti-slavery terrorist organization raided his caravan, and freed all the slaves he was taking to market. They then sold Garbo to his creditors to pay for a fraction of his own debts with his freedom. Now, here he is.
  92. Hortemun is an acrobat and gymnist. She can contort her body into seemingly impossible knots, and her balance is positively superhuman. Unfortunately, her exceedingly fine talents in these areas apparently come at the expense of her luck at the gambling tables. She’s been racking up debts for years, and when a wealthy man whose amorous advances she once snubbed caught wind, he bought up all of her debt, and demanded immediate remittance. When she could not, he had her seized, and sent to the block for auction.
  93. Blukaluk is a con artist, working on his biggest con yet. Everything is in place: his mark is in the crowd. He knows exactly what sort of slaves his mark tends to buy, and was chosen out of all the gang because he most closely resembles that type. Once he’s working in the mark’s house, he can scout it out for a few months, then let the rest of the gang in the back door, and lead them directly to all the valuables. The plan is risky, but Blukaluk is desperate for a score. Unfortunately, things are already starting to go wrong. Another member of the gang was supposed to be in the crowd to ‘buy’ him in case it looked like the mark wasn’t going to win the auction, but that gang member was delayed this morning, and isn’t here. Blukaluk is on his own.
  94. Cepirio is an elderly and learned sage, who has long passed any youthful ambitions of escaping slavery. She is an expert on the types and movements of birds, on the plant life of the natural world, and in matters of architecture. Further, she has a reasonable understanding of many related topics, which one must understand in order to appreciate the matter of their specialization to its fullest degree. She is willing to place this knowledge at the disposal of any who will give her a bit of warmth and good food for her final few years.
  95. Both of Kograg’s hands were replaced with swords as part of a gladiatorial freak show. As an untrained, and unremarkable slave, none had expected Kograg to survive the fight, and now no one knows what to do with him. His performance in the fight was not impressive or pleasing to the crowd, and without hands, he is good for little else. Further, a terrible infection has taken hold on Kograg’s left arm, which fills the air around him with a stench that is impossible to ignore. If not treated, this infection will require him to lose his arm in 2d4 days, and will kill him in 1d6 + 1 weeks.
  96. Mertyl’s previous master had a strange prediction for abusing his slaves by overfeeding them. Mertyl was his favorite victim. She was barely allowed to do anything other than eat, and eat, and eat. When he died, the executors of his estate wondered as to whether they should just kill Mertyl in the name of mercy, but greed prevailed and they’re attempting to sell her as a strange novelty. She currently weighs 600lb, and has very little mobility whatsoever.
  97. Thader is a 34 year old torchbearer. Holding light sources for people is the only thing he’s ever done, so to reinforce his ego, he’s turned it into some kind of art within his mind. He will tell you, without a hint of irony, that “not just anyone can hold a torch,” and could talk for hours about the myriad complicates and techniques and schools of thought (all of which he invented himself) are involved in the noble practice of torchbearing.
  98. Vesther is a sort of proto-vaudvillian comedian. She specializes in slapstick comedy and funny noises. She’s being sold because, during a routine, she accidentally poked her owner in the eye.
  99. Olate is a torturer, with the sort of strong sadomasochistic streak that separates the dutiful from the truly talented. So seriously does Olate take his work, that his previous masters have found him more than willing to torture himself when his masters have found fault with him. The only problem is that he’s altogether too vigorous. He will often go beyond the bounds of his mandate, torturing people for crimes before they have been caught or sentenced by any authority. He has even been known to torture animals for their misdeeds. There is always some offense, and he has never been found to be lying about these, but there’s just no getting him to stop. If told not to torture without given explicit instructions, he will still torture on his own initiative, then he will submit himself to his own tortures as punishment for doing so.
  100. Aurelia is a 14 year old girl with a stony face. She obeys quickly and obeys well. She’s almost too good at being a slave. Anyone with a modicum of insight can tell, when they look at her, that she’s always thinking, making plans, imagining new scenarios. In the distant future, epic poems about Aurelia will be familiar to every schoolchild. In those poems, you will be a footnote. The person who owned her when she was a young slave, before her rise to greatness later in life. But that is the distant future. For now, Aurelia is just a young girl with an 18 in every ability score. Hopefully part of that epic poem won’t be about her killing you.

And there you have it, the single longest post I’ve ever written for Papers & Pencils! If you like this sorta thing, and want to support what I do, please consider my Patreon campaign! Any money you can spare will go towards supporting my TRPG endeavors.

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Thoughts and theories on tabletop games.